PLEASE, CAN SOME ONE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON??????????????<BR>Boy what a day. I think today was the first day I cried, realLy cried, I was in the car driving home from work, NOT a very good place!<BR>Please, someone can you help me understand all of this!! Last night we talked ONCE again. He has been waiting for her parents to leave then hes moving in with her? Sat. is the day I guess. Mean while hes here, he sleeps in my bed every night, not that I object, I sleep when hes near me. I got XXXXed last night. I told him that I am not here for his convenience that the door was open and for him to leave, that I would not allow him to destroy the love I have for him. By the way I have been calm through all of this no yelling etc etc. I don't know how but......We started talking about our relationship , all of the sudden he says that he thinks that he felt we never were REALLY in love, that he felt infatuated with me in the beginning etc etc etc. I listened for a while and it finally dawned on me! He is purposly trying to get me angry and in a fight so he doesn't feel the GUILT!!! I finally said bull, I said we loved each other very much, what we shared was very special, "why are you trying to hurt me by what your saying?" He did agree, he wants me to get angry, then he doesn't have to feel the guilt. I said I won't do that. I told him I felt he was making a BIG mistake, first you are loosing me and our family, then you were demoted at work because of this, now you will move into a little apt. I told him I felt like I didn't know who he was. He said "I don't know who I am either". He asked me tell him that his life was not all f* up. I told him I could not do that either. He said that he regrets everthing that has happened but he can do nothing to change it. (I said stop seeing her, he said can't) He said that he loves me. EXTREME SARCASAM HERE " BUT SHE MAKES ME HAPPY" This morning, he was in the shower, and he said "i'll be back, I can't imagine living my life without you." How can he go through with this, move in with her???? <P>My daughter said that his son called last night, she was on the phone for hours with him. She said that he was very upset about what was happeneing (they no nothing about the ow, just problems). She said that he said "how could my dad throw away something so special?" She said they were both crying. Shock me to death, if he was here I'd kiss him. I never realized he felt that way! He lived with us before we got married for about a year and a half. I really am surprized, I NEVER knew he felt that way! Hes in the army. <P>last night we were talking about the job thing, he started getting teary eyed and said he needed me more than ever. By the way he did not go to her house for dinner and meet the parents. <P>He also called me at work today and said they were having a party at a hotel for work from 5:30 - 7:30, he was going.... Being nice by telling me that hes going cuz hes staying here??? <P>Do I just let him go?? Do I stop all contact when he's gone?? We've talked about going to Laughlin for a weekend soon. I don't want to know what hes doing it hurts too much. If hes going Sat. I want to spend tomorrow with him and tell him goodbye, get some spumante (my favorite) sleep by the fire place like we used to. I'm going to ask him tonight if he'll do that. please give me some feed back!! I really need it. Well I am off to the gym so I can get a GEORGEOUS body, and the start gettin some sexy lingerie etc etc (he loves that)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P><BR>Sorry about jumping around so much, a million thoughts go through your head and one thing leads into another!!!<BR>
