Hi Everyone,<P>Haven't been here for a while. To update, husband decided he wanted to come back home, leave OW and start working on the marriage. It's been three weeks since he's been home and one week since he called her last. Said he has called her twice after coming home. Wanted to make sure she is doing ok. I just wish he cared as much about how I'm doing as he does her. <P>He has made somewhat of an effort to be nice and respectful of my feelings. We have "been on vacation". Going out to dinner, movie, boating and better sex etc. But he won't go near a sincere apology. Even said he did not feel that he should apologize. In our last therapy session, his question to me was had I forgiven him. I said no. I told him in order to be forgiven, one has to admit the wrong he has done, feel remorse (or at least very sorry)sincerely apologize and ask what they can do to repair the damage. Am I wrong in feeling this way? I have to consider the fact that I may never get the apology or remorse I need to forgive. Then what? How can we move forward without it? I am having a hard time containing my anger and resentment because of it. At times I want to cry out and tell him of all the hurt and pain I, our children, my family and our friends have gone through. He just dosen't get it! He is still in a world of his own. <P>Can we move on if what I need does not come?<BR>Please help. Feel LB's coming on.

My H and I have been back together for 4 1/2 months. He too has no remorse, no understanding of the depth of the pain his behavior over the last year has caused. And, no heartfelt apology has come from him either. When I found out, he did say "I'm sorry", and "I guess it was wrong" but that is the extent of his remorse. Somedays I am so frustrated about his lack of remorse that I just go outside, to the back of our pasture and scream. I have forgiven him. He never asked for forgiveness. <P>The only thing that has helped me get through this emotional upheaval is to pray. When I feel that anxiety, intense pain and fear coming on, I go to a quiet place and pray. Sometimes I fail to do this, and the attacks are so much worse. <P>So, no, I don't think you are wrong to feel this way. You are a human being who has been betrayed, hurt beyond comprehension. God bless you.<BR> <P>

It's been over 2 years for us. He says he's sorry when he sees that I'm having trouble. I feel he is sorry for hurting me, but I don't feel he is sorry for having the affair.<P>Too many times he has told me that she will always be important to him and it was some of the most intense experiences he has had in his life. She will always be a pleasant memory for him.<P>Your H is more than likely in withdrawal. You may not see anything for a while. You will probably never see the remorse that you feel you deserve. I wonder if any amount of remorse could make up for the pain we feel.<P>They had an affair because they wanted to and it felt wonderful to them. It's kind of like the kid caught sneaking cookies, they may be sorry they got caught, they may not like the aftermath, but they sure enjoyed the cookies.