It seems I am always asking for help. And Here I go again.<P>H has been home for a little over 2 weeks. He did buy me a nice card and chocolate covered strawberries for V Day. We are double dating tonight with our D and her BF. Tomorrow night we are double dating with a guy from H work and his wife. <P>My problem is, yes he is home and some days he is in a great mood but the last 2 nights it is like I have cooties or something. He does not want to talk or touch. I found if I rolled over in bed and touched him he would roll away from. Now he was snoreing maybe just did it in his sleep, but it is bugging me BIG time.<P>I know I should be grateful that he is home and we are starting to date. I do have a couple of more concerns. He brought his lap top home and I found a email he sent to OW about a month ago, proclaiming his love for her. He was dissapointed in the email because he said that it seemed that she did not want to talk to him on the phone earlier when he had talked to her. Another thing I found a V card in his card last night. It was blank and still in the sack from the store. I am sorry but I kinda bent it up a little just in case he was going to give it to her so this way he couldn't. It was under the seat and I had to move the seat up and when he moves his seat back he will think he bent it.<P>Well, why was the card still in the car? This card was not for me since he gave me one and it is too mushy for us yet. Also if he was going to give her one wouldn't he have already done it? <P>I just wonder if he is being dumped by her and that is why he is depressed?<P>Our divorce is still up in the air. Paper work has started but I am slowing it down as much as possible. Both lawyers know we are trying to work this out, but when you file in court the other party has to answer, or so I was told.<P>Anyway, I want to LB in the most awful way. I am trying to smile, have the house clean, his clothes ironed and pressed for him. Dinner ready ect. I am trying not to take it personally but come on. I really could use a hug from him, or a smile maybe a little kiss. He did come after me on V day, but not even a good bye kiss since.<P>I am sorry this is long and boring. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. Though there are many of you guys out there that are going through a must tougher time than me and I pray for you all.<P>I read here several times a day and have gotten so much great advice from just reading the post.<P>Thanks! Any advice from you veterans will be appreciated

Could it be that he did buy that Valentine for you,but it wasn't what he really wanted to say and he found another one after the fact that expressed his thoughts more appropriately? I've done that...did it this year.Put the first card away for another year.Just another way you might look at it!Withdrawl s**ks.Don't push and plan A with all your might,it's easier when they're home!That's a plus on your side! Take care and good luck

thanks so much for replying. I do not think the card was for me. He has said that he does not love me, he cares for me. This card said for my sweetheart on the front. It had a little envelope inside that when you opened it and pulled out the paper heart it said I love you on it.<P>This would have been a card that he would have sent me a couple of years ago.<P>I still wonder why it is there, and why would he give her a card this late or not give it to her on time. It was a little bent up when I found it too.<P>I will check tonight some how to see if it is still in his car. He might just throw it away since it is kinda bent LOL. I was surprised I did not tear it in little pieces.<P>He just emailed me and we are going out to dinner and to play pool with D and her BF.<P>Thanks for the reply!<BR>

my3kids,<P>Withdrawal is what your H is suffering. It's hard, it's not pretty, it basically Sucks. It's not important who dumped who, it still exists.<P>A POSITIVE aspect to the card.... maybe he did buy it for <B>YOU</B>, but came to the same conclussion you did.... that it's too much right now. It's what he wants to say, but realized it is too soon, or too much for you both to handle right now. Maybe the withdrawal did kick in and he bought it for her..... but the important thing is he DID NOT SEND IT. (and now he can't )<P>I've become a pro at finding the "bright" side in certain situations..... you have to look for positives and believe in them, or you will drive yourself crazy. (That's my theory anyway).<P>Hang in there girl, it's not an easy task, but you can do it! Keep up plan A, and post post post and read read read! <P>Thoughts & Prayers,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

thanks butterfly.........<P>I am trying. He wanted me to work, so I started substitute teaching this week. He wants the house cleaner, so I clean as soon as I get off, (though it is hard when we have 3 teenagers and their friends over) <P>All the things that he has mentioned that drove him crazy, though he did not hardly mention in the previous 19 years we were married I am really trying to do.<P>He actually cleaned the kitchen last night after dinner since I had to take our son somewhere.<P>It is just this depression or sadness in him that is driving me bananas, I want him to love me like he used to, and as I do him. I want him to feel that way now. I know I am trying to hurry him, and I cannot.<P>I need to scream.. yyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeesssssss!<P>Now i kinda feel better.<P>