Lacee:<P>As you can see, I'm new here...I'm just trying to keep my head above water (as I'm sure that you are, too).<P>I pray that we will both experience God's peace. His peace surpasses ALL understanding. It's been so long since I've had peace...I CRAVE it. I'm pretty sure you know what I mean.<P>I'm sorry that I don't have any "flowery" words or great words of wisdom to share with you. I just wanted to try to encourage you in my own meager way.<P>Hang in there...it'll be alright. <P>Love,<P>Jill<P><BR>

Thanks Jill! I have been going through an awful lot with the withdrawls. I messed up once.... in the last 3 months by seeing him again. It only made things worse.... What a lesson I learned from that...<P>You are so much further along that I. I will look to your story as encouragement and proof that you can get over an affair and move forward as you are doing.....<P>Thanks for your thoughts....

Lacee:<P>You mentioned that you "messed up" by seeing your affair partner again when you shouldn't have. I know that I told you to RUN, and I meant RUN literally if you have to. Block his phone number from calling your home. Change your e-mail address. Throw away any cards or gifts that he gave you. Lacee, it will sound bad, but I will say it anyway: You have to treat this person as if he never were alive. If you don't, you might never get out of the trap of the affair so that you can work on your marriage. I know how difficult and overwhelming that all of this sounds...boy, have I been there! <P>Just hang in there...<P>Keep trying...<P>Don't lose hope...<P>Love,<P>Jill

Yes Jill, I do know I have to do all those things. I did it... I got rid of everything.. blocked calls...e-mail.... etc...<P>I slipped up and I regret it more than anyone will ever know. He showed up unannounced and rather than have the neighborhood yacking about the strange man at my home, (fortunately, he walked up with his planner and looked business like)... I met him in a near by parking lot so that I could "Yell" at him away from my home! That was my big... no... HUGE mistake! Needless to say, he manipulated my heart and feelings... He has since been warned of what will happen if he shows up again. And he is and should be afraid of my H finding out. <P>So, now I am back on my feet again... digging for strength and courage every day and making it. Also, I continue to work on my marriage which has definitely been showing signs of improvement. I won't let that go again.... <P>I found that I was doing so much better while I was posting a lot here. It was good to get the encouragement and help that I did. I drew strength from people here and the will to get through the withdrawls. It's hard to explain... but it helped so much. <P>Then, I just started feeling out of place here and didn't post much... only replies mainly. I still read a lot here but I don't think that I am qualified to be giving much advice considering that I can't even control my own life. So I stick with the support when I can.... <P>Anyway, thank you for your support... It really means a lot to me... <P>

Lacee:<P>Please don't feel like you don't fit in here...EVERYONE fits in here. This is a place to come and learn and heal and help and sometimes, "VENT".<P>I think you mentioned that you feel like you are not in a position to offer advice because you feel like you can't control your own life. I think that most people here (including me) feel that way sometimes. I'm not here to offer "advice". I will share the information that I know. I will share my story and how I handled a situation. I never want anyone to feel like I'm preaching...goodness knows I am in no position to tell anyone anything! <P>For me, coming here is a comfort. I see that I'm not alone. I have a place to see how other people are handling their situations.<P>I know that you are doing the very best that you know how...don't give up! Keep trying! Your efforts are worth something.<P>Don't forget that everyone here has a story. Don't compare your progress with someone else's progress, or your slip-ups with someone else's slip-ups...just come here and "take to heart" what you read...think about it...<P>No one here has all of the answers (I know I sure don't! Hey! Would the person with ALL of the answers please come forward?? ).<P>Anyway, please feel welcome here. Please know that your "story" helps me and many others whether you know it or not. It's so brave of you to come here and share.<P>Hang in there...<P>Jill<BR>