Well if anyone read my post from earlier, my h came home from work, changed and went to a "BBQ". I am done with this arrangement. Living together but seperate (lasted 1 day!) I am going to tell him to go, I don't care where he goes but he must GO! It is one thing knowing he is having an affair, to have it thrown in my face is another. If I end up loosing everything I do, I cannot and will not continue like this. I feel like a fool. I feel used. I feel angry (finally). I HAVE to take care of me and my children. I was reading about the givers and the takers. I've given and given. Hes taken and taken. He has absouletly NO RESPECT for me, and quite frankly I have none for myself at this point in time, and I am going to get some back. I am XXXXed. If I let this contiue, I will be here a year from now saying " my husband just came home from work, changed clothes and went to a "BBQ"". This is so CRAZY! I can believe I let my self become so co-dependant and am afraid to say anything which would make him go. If I cannot say what I feel then this is NOT where I want to be. I want a MUTUAL LOVING relationship, i've got XXit. He can go to his little girl-friend in her little apt. and enjoy. I also will not give him the satisfaction of my anger. I will CAMLY tell him here is the door, get out!! It XXXXes me off so much! I have done so much for this man and this is what I get in return.

{{{{{{{{{{<B>Troublec</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>Catch yourself...<P>Take the proverbial deep breath...<P>You want to throw him out tomorrow...<BR>...but... you know deep in your heart it will make things even worse...<P>How about this...<BR>Tomorrow... let him know your feeling hurt...<BR>Let him know that the hurt is so bad that you will need to take action soon...<BR>(Don't let the word divorce come up please...)<P>Then think through a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A> letter... ask for advice on the forum... a lot of advice...<P>Draft it... proof read it... share it with us... rewrite it... and next week/weekend give it to him with a well thought out plan of where he is to live, visitation, bill payment etc.<P>There are situations where an immediate <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A> is needed... but you need still to plan it out. The logistics must be carefully thought out so that you can effectively do a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A and Plan B</A>.<P>Did you ever get a chance to see my earlier posts...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Archives/Archive-000001/HTML/20000110-1-011323.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Archives/Archive-000001/HTML/20000110-1-011046.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B - 101</A>.<P>Read them...<P>Again... catch your breath...<P>Many prayers for you this weekend... <BR>I wish I could help more... but I'm going on a 3 day ski trip with my kids...<P>Jim<BR>

Well, When he came home last night I told him to move out today. We talked this am and he is going to move all of his stuff into the spare bedroom. We will try this until the 1st of March. Depending on how things go we will go from there. I am really torn on this. Now, I've just got to get those "love deposits" going. I asked him also, to PLEASE tell me the truth. I told him I didn't want to give up on us and if I was just prolonging everything. He said he felt "I was prolonging things, but you never know what can happen in a month etc." So, I've got to look at him like a roomate (which I was going to get anyway). This is TUFF but If I can win back his love I will. Today I am going to go out and get "the book". I told him I would TRY and not talk to him about things, this will take some work cuz I am a talker. I think he went and met her parents at the "BBQ" last night. He said he does appreciate what I am doing cuz it shows how much I love him. I am not too sure how I feel about that. I also told him that what makes me angry is, something happened and he doesn't even want to TRY and work it out. He was going to call his parents today, he tried, said he wasn't going to say anything to them about what was going on. I've got to make a strong effort to move on, HAVE FUN, and make DEPOSITS. I pray that it will work. You know the poem footprints in the sand, I told him today that I hope I'm being carried now, I feel pretty lonely.<P>Wish me luck, and please pray for me, I need it!!