<BR>Background info--W and I working at same place. I suspect fowl play between her and our boss. She denies and wants to keep job. I feel it is her way of hanging on to something. Her job is PTand she can quit anytime. Actually it is only to give her something to do while we are in a foreign country on assignment. My job provides the income. I can't do my job as long as she is there. Have been fighting the doubt for 5 months but not getting better. I am at wits end and really ready to call it quits, but really just want to love her. Tonight, I wrote op 4 proposals for her to work with. Please tell me if they are unfair or ridiculus.<BR>P1 quit job, avoid all contact with him and communicate her daily activities and whereabouts with me<BR>P2 I resign from assignment and we all return to USA to rebuild our marriage and my trust<BR>P3 She and our 19 month old son return to USA and we decide if separation papers are necessary or if there is possibility of repair and their return<BR>P4 We return to the USA and file for divorce.<BR>She claims her innocence and says I must trust her and feels I must trust her around him. She expects me to believe she has done nothing wrong and to get over this feeling. My profile explains. She has lied to me about 2 previous affairs with supervisors of hers(EA's only). I only know that something has got to give here.<BR>Your comments please!!!!!!<BR>LHC

LHC:<P>The only reasonable choice seems to me to be #2. I think the others will seal the fate of your marriage. If I were in your position, I would not even suggest any of the others.<P>Instead, have a real conversation with your wife. Tell her that you are afraid for the future of your marriage and that it is the most important thing in the world to you. Suggest that it is time for both of you to make a serious committment to improving your relationship, and that you think a new start in a new place would be a good beginning. Try not to make insinuations or accusations about her relationship with your boss.<P>If your wife agrees with you, start making plans for your family to return to US and making a new start.<P>Just my opinion, but it seems it would solve the problem of your worries about her having an inappropriate relationship with this man. Then you can follow Dr. Harley's principles to help create an affair-proof marriage and you will not have to deal with this kind of situation again.<P>Good luck!<P>Peppermint