<BR>I can't believe I married such a cruel and irresponsible human being!!!!!! I am so angry right now that I feel like filing for divorce tomorrow and saying "BE GONE!!"<P>He argues with me about everything! And when I try to diffuse it, he insults me and my inteligence! <P>My middle son is having serious problems because of this. He is having nightmares and having "accidents". H acts like he could care less. He has seen them a total of 6 hours since Jan 1. His excuse is he doesn't have a car. Well, he uses her car to go to bars and whatever else he wants to. But he sure can't come here to see the kids. He actually wanted me to take them to the playground to meet him. It's cold, windy and my youngest is sick with bronchitis. UNCARING A**!!!!! <P>He even had the nerve to tell me that he won't give me anymore money. That I'll just have to take him to court for it. SO BE IT!! If I don't have the money today, I'll file for it tomorrow. (I haven't filed yet because he has always given it to me). <P>I am so angry at him right now!! If I was such a psycho bi**h then why did he marry me and have 3 kids with me. I am so sick and tired of OW being the "damn good woman" that he thinks she is!! I want his whole life to be torn out from under him just like mine has been!! How in the he!! did I get thrown into this situation??? I'm just sick of it all. <P>Thank God I have an appt. with Steve Harley tomorrow!! <P>Sorry, I'm at a weird place right now and needed to vent><P>Mitzi

Been there and felt the same way many times! Hang in there. You have proved your the strong responsible one. I'm sorry your children are having problems. Right now focus on being a supportive mother--the kids need a stable force ,while all this is going on. Every mother and betrayed spouse knows what you are going through. Hang tough!!

I am trying so hard to be strong and supportive but right now all I want is to be vindictive. I want to take everything away from him. I want him to lose everything. <P>Plan A sucks!! Plan B would be so much easier. <P>DEEP BREATHS!!!

{{{{{{{{{Mitzi}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Haven't typed at you for a while. I am sorry that things are progressing the way they have. It is hard to think that they don't care, especially about their children.<P>My H did the same thing when I initially found out about OW. His excuse was always that he didn't have the $$ right now...but he could take her out to have fun at a bar somewhere. <P>I think you have to see an attorney if you haven't already. Even if you don't start divorce proceedings you need to be sure that you have funds from him to help with the care of your children....and ask about protecting yourself from any new debt that he is incurring. This should not be your responsibility. My H ran up quite a sum and since we are living together I am afraid that it will reflect on my credit rating...right now I don't know what to do either. <P>Let me know how you are doing and I will keep in touch. <P>{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGE HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Claire

RC,<BR>Thanks for the advice! I've been looking into divorcenet and divorce source. My odds are pretty good at getting what I need. I'm trying not to be nasty about things. <P>I'm going to call a lawyer tomorrow just for a consultation. On divorce source I found that I can file for a legal separation, for a year. Or I can wait and just be separated for a year. It's funny though, of the nine different ways you can file in my state, I could file under 7 of them. He can only file under 1 (irreconsilable differences and it's no-fault). I can still fight that but I'll have to work harder at it. Which I am prepared to do. <P>I'm going to see about a temporary order for him to support us, and take care of bills. Also to be able to keep track of our accounts. I don't have to worry about credit cards (he doesn't have any and can't get any). We have 3 joint bank accounts and I need to make sure he hasn't tried to get my name off of them. <BR>This all sucks! <P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>Join the crowd! My x said all the same things. She says she ahs no money but goes out of town about every other week. She got paid last Thurs and I have yet to see the child support check.<P>I said screw the lovebusters at this point, this was the only way I could get her to listen to me. It would take a day or two but she would finally do what I had asked her.<P>It didn't get any better for me until we divorced.<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Gee Bob, thanks! LOL<P>The thing is neither one of us has filed for divorce. He talked to an attorney 1 time. Just a consultation. Neither of us has filed any papers at all.<P>If he doesn't soon pull his head out of his a**, I will quit. He's becoming more and more verbally abusive.<P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

Of all the nerve!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Now he wants me to give him all of our tax papers so that the OW can do them. Or he says he won't give me any money!! <BR>Like hell!!! Those papers have my name on them too. Not to mention my social security # and bank account #'s. And I should let her do them???? NOT!!!!<P>This has got to be the lowest he as sunk! I don't think I even want this anymore. <P>He is not the same man I married and I will not bow to him anymore. I think the gloves are about to come off!!!!

Mitzi,<P>three words for you,<P><B>attorney, attorney, attorney</B><P>I'm so very sorry that it is getting so ugly so fast. You must protect your children and do not let him be a deadbeat about financial issues. That has been one of my problems with my H - I let things go and actually loan $$ to him when I know I could certainly use the $$ for something for the house, or the kids, or gosh darn it sometimes I need a new pair of shoes too! Be strong my friend.<P>Hugs,

Mitzi,<P>Wow...we are pretty much on the same page...If I told you what my W has been up to I'm sure you'd tell me not only to file but to press criminal charges...I'm not saying my lovely is committing any crimes, but LRB sure as hell is...<P>As far as the taxes..<B>NFW</B>...no way...<BR>This woman has zero business in your financial matters...<P>Hang in there, the resenments do fade...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

RC,<BR>Thanks for the advice and hugs. I had thought the same thing about the lawyer. I talked to my MIL and she pretty much said the same thing. (She has been such a blessing to me!)<P>Bill,<BR>I've pretty much had all night to think about this (no sleep). I don't know if there is any way I can recover enough emotionally to go on fighting for my marriage. He is NOT at all like the man I married. I don't even see a small sign of that right now. <P>It sickens me to think that the man who supposedly loved me for almost 14 yrs. actually could care so little right now. Is this much anger on his part so normal?