My W is still addicted to and denying her infidility. However, I have proof that it is still going on. From an ongoing investigation I know that (among other times) she has been meeting the OM at lunch when I am 40 miles away. On those days that I know that they have a "lunch" date (I do not think they are really having lunch) should I inform her that I may have some meeting in that area and may stop in at lunch or just show up when the OM is suppossed to be there? <P>Also is there an appropriate way to inform the inlaws about the infidelity? She tells them and everyone else there is no one else involved.

Triumph,<BR>First off, I wouldn't bother telling the inlaws anything. You don't need to defend yourself and they probably would find out on their own in their own time. Telling them would be a giant lovebust and seem defensive when you really don't need to be....I would leave that alone. <BR>As far as them still having lunch, did she agree to no-contact or is this the ongoing relationship? If she agreed to no contact then I would approach them while they are at lunch and act VERY calmly, in a non-lovebusting way. I would ask him to stay away and ask her to come with you and discuss this. DON"T argue, just talk quietly and calmly about the no-contact rule. If there was never an agreement for you to hold her to then I don't know what I would do. I would probably still confront her with the relationship and how it's hurting you and you wish she would devote some time without this outside influence to repairing the marriage. I would probably ask her to give your marriage the time and the distance from the OP at this point and pray that she gives this consideration. God Bless!<BR>P.S. Don't believe confrontation is Lovebusting, it isn't , it's honesty and if you do it correctly you will be depositing love instead of taking from that bank.<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

Thanks for the response....<P>Todays solution was to tell her I may be in the area and stop in... I know it is not the best solution but it keeps them apart for another day. <P>We have no agreement of complete seperation from the OM. She will not admit that she is even seeing him. The evidence I have of the ongoing affair will make her seriously mad and if I reveal what I have and how I attained it it will be worse. I am slowly trying to get her to admit what she is doing without me revealing that I know. <P>In the meantime do you (or others) think it is to my advantage to work to keep them apart especially when I know they have set up times and place to meet?<P>T2