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#8487 09/07/99 01:28 PM
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2
I wrote earlier about my husband and my best friend sleeping together. My best friend thinks I need to forgive her but for obvious reasons I can't. My marriage is going good but I think it would be alot better if she would stay out of my life and leave me alone. I can't afford to just pick up my family and move like I want to, and it doesn't help that she is a 2 minute walk from my house. Anyways I thought we could start a line of commincation up between us to just talk about life and our children, small talk like that. So she decides to tell me all the personal things that my husband and her shared. I mean personal, things I did not need or want to hear, things that was said between them. I told her that I did not need to hear those things and there was no reason for me to know the things she told me. One of the things that she told me was the only reason that my husband is making an effort in fixing our marriage is because she said she wanted to work things out with her husband. She wanted to open my eyes and realize this is going to happen to me again. I know that that is a risk I am taking but the risk is well worth it to me. For some reason I can't stop throwing all this back at my husband and that does not help the situation out at all. I need to learn to keep the sly comments to myself, it just makes me feel better to make him feel worse. Make sense? Help!!!

#8488 09/07/99 02:09 PM
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
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Yuck, what a situation.<P>I guess biting your tongue might help when tempted to sling the mud? You need to really guard with lovebusters. Have you told your friend that you really don't need this information? Is she really trying to protect you - or is she playing a game?<P>I think you would be much better off to distance yourself from her. At least for a while.<P>

#8489 09/07/99 02:39 PM
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 769
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Posts: 769
I agree it is a horrible situation.<P>I think it is time to ditch the friend. First of all there is something to be said about friends. They don't betray each other if they are friends. So give her up.<P>I love bust about the other woman a lot. If I had contact with her or knew her and she'd fed me information about my husband I would go nuts. You don't know if it is true or how she percieves it.<P>You do need to forgive her (is she truly repentant?) for your own sake as that kind of pent up feeling will hurt you mentally and physically. I know because I have hugely bad feelings about my husbands OW.<P>Go with your instincts and don't love bust with your husband if you want your marriage to work. Doesn't matter what husband said then anyway. He is home and trying to make it work. <P>Remember affairs are "temporary insanity" and a huge "fantasy". Neither of which is a part of the real world. <P>I believe barely any of these relationships make it in the real world under the light of day. There is only dishonesty and deciet there how can any thing right or real come out of that and stand the light of day???? I don't think they can.<P>Hey maybe everyday or so you could put the sly comments here and we could read them. You'd be getting them out and your husband won't need to know any of them?<P>I'll be praying for you.<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>


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