I thought we should list some of the lies our spouse's have told the OP in order to keep or start an affair.<P>Here are some of the ones my H uses:<P>"She told me she wouldn't care if I ever had an affair."<P>"She has never been in love with me."<P>"I love my wife, but I'm not IN LOVE with her."<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Hi there<BR>My husband told the o.w. :<P>My wife has already been to see a lawyer about a divorce, I am just waiting for it to be final.<P>I have only stayed with her because of the kids they are still so young (4and 8 years old)<P>I never loved her and don't know why I married her.<P>Even if she knew I doubt that she would give a dam.<P>Jenny<BR>p.s after admitting this to me he also said that they were all lies and he never meant any of them he just thought that they were the means to and end.... her bed !!! <BR><P>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<BR>Paula Cole<P><BR>

you guys are going to make me cry.....<P>How did you find out what your H told the OW.<P>My H's ex-OW rang me two weeks ago, and told me that she was not the first affair he had had. I choose not to believe that, as I know the man he was. He also would not have had the time, He was always accountable, never late home etc... and more importantly, we were happy.<P>This is a very interesting topic for me, but I don't know if I can offer much.....<BR>I just don't know what he told her.<BR>She also claimed in the ph call, that he told her that he wasn't married...... does that mean he took his wedding ring off.....<P>I can hardly bear to type this.....it hurts too much<P>sorry,<P>Jo

Dear Jo, feel sorry for you and I can understand the pain you feel... Your husband told his OW he is not married - very heartbreaking thing to know. My fiance told his internet women (he has a real personal sexual relationship with them) that he has no girlfriend, he has not been kissed for a long long time...etc. Once one of his women saw us together and threatened to leave him, he then told her that I am his ex-girlfriend and he said he does not want to see me but he needs me to share the rent so he has to pretend to be nice to me... and then told her he will marry her...etc. Then another women found out he has a 'roommate'- ME, I lived with my fiance), he then told her, "She knows it, she doesn't mind."<P>If you asked me how did I know all these stuff - 90% of them are read from his computer - his emails and ICQ messages with all his women, and a little bit are from his 'women' - I sent messages to few of his women - I did not accuse them of going out with my fiance, but just told them I know what is going on - one of them never replied to me, but two of them are stil having contact with me - but they claimed to me they have already cut the contact with my fiance - he WAS my fiance - I left him two weeks ago. <P>IT IS VERY VERY VERY HEARTBREAKING TO KNOW WHAT YOUR SPOUSE TOLD HIS/HER OW/OM... YOU CAN HARDLY BELIEVE YOUR EYES AND EARS... YOU CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THAT IS THE SPOUSE YOU CHOSE !!! Thanks for sharing. <Vicky>

Dear Vicky,<P>you're right, I don't know what or who to believe any more.<P>It all hurts too much<P>Jo

There are so many lies my H told OW that I hardly know where to start!<P>Our marriage was over a long time ago.<P>He cares for me but doesn't love me like a wife.<P>I suckered him into a marriage he didn't want. (Now, thats a good one!)<P>He was a great husband but, I was mean to him and treated him like dirt.<P>I never loved him.<P>He is such a great father and loves his kids so much. (This is coming from a man that won't even give his kids a bath or put PJs on them for bed!)<P>These came directly from the mouth of the OW. I tend to believe he really said them since he has told me similar things. <P>

I know what lies he told the OW because I broke into his e-mail and read the letters back and forth to one another. It's amazing the lies they tell in order to live their little fantasies. I wonder about what she's told him. She has probably lied as well. A relationship based on lies and deceit. Not a good way to start something off.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

My H told the bimbo<P>-My wife is going to leave me (this before the affair even started)<P>- My W doesn't mind that I'm seeing you.<P>Many many more but Those were the two big ones. I found out becuase he told me. Of course she believed every word he said. <BR>The lies she told him were even better, and he still believes that she was telling the truth.

I never told OW any lies, not that it stopped her from jumping into jealous freak mose when I told her it was over...<P>I told her that I still loved and was in love with my W, but that I didn't feel she was in love with me.<P>I refuse to tell OW that I loved her.<P>I also told OW that even if my marriage failed, I would not be entering into a monogamous relationship with her.<P>Lies I did tell, (thank God for whatever sanity that I had left) that I was busy, couldn't get away, even when Dylan left town for a month I would tell her that my roomate was here and to leave would be too suspicious, and stayed home to play game instead. I should have done a lot more of that...<P>Hell, all in all I was more honest with OW, which has been a point of contention with Dylan. <P>Still despite my efforts to keep her aware of exactly where she stood, she still flipped out when I told her it was over, and began a back and forth email with Dylan for about a month. In a way that helped, as OW unwittingly confirmed much of what I told Dylan. Which helped as my credibility had hit an all time low...<P>gotta run, got work... <P>Deut<BR>

In his own world at that time, in his head he did not believe they were lies, he has to see things this way in order to justify the affair and then he starts believing them and soon his heart has left the marriage and now I'm the one fighting to get it back, he told her he had not loved me in years and had wanted out for years, wow I didn't know this, now he thinks he loves her, but you see true love is with the convenant wife and that's me, regiina

I keep reading where you guys say you break into his e mail account how??? his is on hotmail and I don't have password

Regina,<P>Look at <A HREF="http://www.winwhatwhere.com." TARGET=_blank>www.winwhatwhere.com.</A> <P>They have a keystroke logging program that will allow you to see whatevere is typed on your computer - passwords, etc.

My H said this to me - all in front of the marital counselor....<P>"We're better parents than a married couple"<BR>"We've grown in opposite directions"<BR>"I'm not sexually attracted to you"<P>Ouch...

When my H was in a totally chaotic, & irrational state as he couldn't make up his mind whether he should move out & live closer to OW, he said to me one day that we hadn't made love in two years. I was so shocked, I was speechless. When I finally got my breath back, I said unless your definition is very different from mine, that's not true. Prior to the affair, we had been having sex on a regular basis for a couple married 20 years.<P>So, I would bet money that he also said that one to OW, too.<P>The guilt is so hard to bear that they will rewrite the past if they have to. And, then convince themselves that it is all true.

Everything. every word out of his mouth. He doesn't lie to her, he lies to me. <P>Not every word, but every sentence, or at least every conversation. Wait, we don't have conversations so it must be every sentence he speaks contains a lie.<P>Oh hell, I'm too messed up to talk tonight. I'll do this later.<P>Keo