<BR>Woozy, I was just thinking that we hadn't heard from you in a while. Let us know how things are. We're here if you need us.<P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Sorry I haven't been around. I lost my internet connection on Thursday for some reason. I just got it back today. <P>I did get an e-mail from my h on Thursday. He still didn't have the nerve to tell me he moved in with the ow. The only reason he sent me one was because I forwarded an e-mail of his that came to my computer. It was important. I didn't include any personal info on it. Just sent it. <P>He came to the house yesterday. I know he thought I was gone. He let himself in. I was sitting at the table going over the bills. He says he is happy at the ow's. Whatever. He stayed for a couple of hours. It was very painful to listen to him talk about his life at her place with her 16 year old daughter and 21 year old son. I stayed cool. I decided I am over it. I don't want to fight to save my marriage anymore. I know that sounds harsh but I had 4 days off this last weekend and I poured my heart and soul out into a journal. 20 plus pages worth. I wrote every thought and emotion and feeling I had into it. I guess what I kept coming up with is that I feel better without him here. It is much, much less stressful than when he was here. The boys are doing well. Yes, we miss him and I still love him but I am better than this. My boys don't need to see him keep coming and going. That is traumatic for them. <P>I went to a child support meeting this morning. I think it takes at least a couple months before he will start paying anything. He did pay the bills for February. I did tell him I would still be his friend because I always thought he was my best friend. I will do that much for the kids.<P>When he went to leave, he wanted to know if he could have a tv. I said no. Not until things are settled. I will be damned if I am going to let him take anything other than his clothes out of this house and move them into her trailer. Not until we settle things through divorce. A friend from work came over last night and helped me change the locks on the door. I don't want him coming here when I am not home and taking things. The ow's husband called me last night. He told me that she cleaned him out of pretty much everything. He also said the reason my h wanted a tv is because they only have a 13"tv. Her husband told me a lot of things about her that I find very disgusting. I guess it leaves me to wonder what my husband does see in her. <P>So, I am going for the divorce. I am not going to play games. I am tired of it and I think I really am happier without him. I will check back here from time to time though.<P>~Woozy

(((((WOOZY)))))<P>I'm really sorry things turned out this way. But from the sound of your post you sound like you are dealing with all of this very well. You sound so strong!<P>Take care of you and your children. <BR>Mitzi

(((((WOOZY)))))<P>I think between you , me and Mitzi, we are all about in the same place here.I feel like I gave up this weekend too. I tried, I really did. I was prepared to do Plan A til summer but after the divorce papers came, I pretty much hit rock bottom. It was like a slap in the face. <P>TO me, those divorce papers, made this affair so much more real and much more painful. It hurts when H goes to live with OW and SHE has kids. It really makes me mad.<P>I feel like I have so much on my shoulders, I know you do too. It seems never ending doesn't it? Just when you think you can't possibly be hurt again, or any more, BOOM, it happens again.<P>Prayers are with you both tonite, Mitzi, I have been meaning to email you too, but just am in severe shock right now. I have just been walking around these past days like I am beside myself. Almost like I am living in another world. It is very strange.<P>Talk to you both soon, Dana<BR>