<BR>Hello.<BR>I haven't been in here for a while. For those of you who don't know my story, my H left me for my brother's fiance..Well, so much has happened lately. She has been stringing my H around being with him, then dumping him and going back to my brother. This last time (which was the 3rd), he said it is totally over between them. <BR>Yesterday, he came over and was crying and told me that he doesn't know what to do. I have been here for him this whole time when she would dump him, I would be there for him. WHY??? Because that is the kind of person I am. I have been with him for 13 years, and I love him....<BR>Well, yesterday I asked him, he told me he "fell out of love with me 7 months ago" if that was true and he told me NO...He is still in love with me. He only told me that he wasn't because of her. He said he left home, but, his heart never did..He said, "where do I go from here" and I told him, where do you want to go?..He said he wants his family back. I just couldn't stop crying. Do you know how long I have waited to hear him say that to me.<BR>I told him, I am willing to work on it if he is, and he said YES.<BR>I told him he can't move back in, we still need space, and asked him if he would go to couseling with me, and he said yes, something he wouldn't do before. I told him we need to take it slow almost like dating again and see what happens and he said ok.<BR>I know that it will take me a while to build my trust up in him again and he understands that.<BR>My question is, where do I go from here??? I want to make this family whole again. We already agreed to give each other our space and see what happens. I let him know that every time he walks out that door, I am going to think he is going to see her and he said NO!..<BR>Please help me!!!!!....I am doing the wrong thing here???? We have been together for 13 years, and I can't just throw that all away!.And that is the same thing he said. That he can't believe that he destoyed our marriage over her!!!..<BR>Any help would really be greatly appreciated!!!<BR>Thanks!<BR>

It sounds like you're off to a very good start.<P>He has to understand that you'll be suspicious, and give you the reassurance you need. And in return, you have to start working on rebuilding your trust in him.<P>Honesty is key, and it sounds like he's willing.<P>And remember...husbands are like dogs. They respond better to positive reinforcement of good behavior than negative behavior of the bad.

Yeah!! <P>Finally some good news! I am happy for you. Take it slow and make sure he really puts the effort in before you let him move back in. Have him read some of the books on this site to see if he is serious on working on the relationship. If he is, you will know it. Discuss the books at counseling.<P>Good luck! You are where most of us on this forum are praying to be!!