I read what you wrote to Jill and you mentioned about how your marriage has survived secrets and so on. Like all the others who have posted, my marriage as well is going through it's share of heartache. In this case, it is my husband's actions hurting us. Notice, this is plural!<P>I'm not really ready to open up yet as it is once again, a fresh wound still being licked but I couldn't help but take an interest in your remark.<P>Would you mind sharing your thoughts on how you feel you and your spouse have managed to keep the marriage going? I ask because I'm finding the more these kinds of problems occur, the more they hurt, and the more it hurts, the harder it is to even want to keep the marriage going. I dont' want it to end but I dont' want to keep banging my head against the wall either. <P>So how did you manage? I hope you will share.

Is there Hope<BR>Sorry this took so long. My son is home so I don't check in often<P>I don't mind sharing at all. However my story is VERY long. The bimbo entered our lives in 1992 and their "friendship" was hurtful to me from the beginning. The sexual affair started in '98.<P>I think you might want to ask me something more specific since I tend to ramble. <BR>if you would feel more comfortable e-mailing me my address is mmawilliams@hotmail.com<P>I do encourage you to share at the forum though. There are a lot of people here who are much wiser and farther along than me.<P>The one thing I can tell you specificaly that kept me going despite the lies is this:<BR>I refused to have my marriage break up over a little bimbo tramp like the one my H was involved with. (notice there is some animosity still )<BR>Every time I felt like giving up I reminded myself that if our marriage was going to end, it would be between me and H. Not me, him and the bimbo.<BR>I could also see a little more clearly than he could at the time. I could see past the moment. And to be perfectly honest I did not want him to destroy himself. There are moments when I know that I should have cared more for me. H is trying to do that now. <P>See, I'm starting to ramble and I don't even know if I've answered any questions that you have. <BR>Please post here and let your feelings out. If there is anything you want to know more specifically please ask. <p>[This message has been edited by wasstubborn (edited February 24, 2000).]