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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 150
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 150 |
My husband had a 'cyber affair' which I found out about a week before Christmas. He lied repeatedly about it - most of which I have since learned the truths about, however, I cannot decide if this was the last straw for me with this man without knowing the whole truth - something he will not give me - he is keeping secrets. I will learn the truth eventually, but I want to hear it from him. Without the whole truth - I am emotionally stuck - unable to make the decision to stay or move on. He knows this and I believe is purposely holding back. <P>Should I give him an ultimatum? should I just leave? I have been unable to make this decision for two months, but need to do so soon. Any advice or suggestions?
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 64
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 64 |
Are you seeing counselor? Is he willing to go? Sounds like it would be good to have someone help you work through this. I get soooo mad at my wife for her lies and infidillity it is better sometimes for me not to talk to her. But having a counselor helps. <P>Prayers
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758 |
I was stuck for a long time, because I thought I had to have the truth in order to have trust in my husband. <P>It became unbearable for me. And someone said to me "Decide that he had an affair" and then decide if you want to still be married.<P>It helped me realize that there were things I could do to effect change in our relationship, without the truth. Trustworthiness and Truth - are starting to come, in bits and pieces, but it has been a long effort of mine, once I decided I wanted my marriage to work.<P>I know the pain that you feel. I think you need to decide, if you want to make it work or not, and then go from there. <P>If you want to make it work, we are there to help you.<BR>TNT
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