hey Guys,<BR>I am at home sitting by myself crying.when H and I were suppose to be going to Rockingham for the race. our anniversary is Monday. we agreed to celebrate this weekend since we both have to work on Monday. This is what happened.<P>I had done every thing in my power to make this a special anniversary that was based on his likes. I thought that going to the Race and Charlotte to the Bass Pro Shop would be great. I couls have cared less about going. <P>I got sick with the flu so I didnt get to do. He had to take my brother in law. which I had approved of. Even though I would have never gone without him. wheter we lost 175.00 in tickets or not. I would have never left him on our anniversary.<P>So since H was leaving today at 3:00. I just knew he would want to go to dinner Friday night. O r do something with me Saturday.<BR>WELL WAS I EVER WRONG.<P>Well his dad got mad because he didnt ask him to go. <P>Friday night. He didnt say a word about it. I said baby i thought that you would want to do something for our anniversary. He said well we kept having company. First of all they knew we were not going anywhere. <BR>So this morning I knew that he would want to do something with me before he left. We went to MCDonalds to get a mcmuffin. Then we came home. Well on our way we see his dad. So he has to make the remark that he was going to plant potatoes since he didnt have anyone to do anything with. That was just to make H feel like ****. <BR> So I get home and I give him his card. He says wait till Monday. I says well I am doing to now just like we planned. well I ask him to go to the Antique store with me. And he says no he is going to help Dad plant his potatoes. So i come in the house to call my sister to do domething. Well My brother in law says he will go.<BR>So Ha comes back in the house and ask me to help cut potatoes. I said Steve is going with me. So he gets mad. <P>So here I am all alone and lonely. <P>What can I do???? I m so hurt...... He never cared that I put forth all this time and effort to amke it special for him.<P>

inamess,<P>I just have to respond to this as a man . Don't get really wound up about this yet. Monday has not come and I'll bet he appreciates that you have done this for him.<P>You don't feel good because you have the flu and he is stressed because you are unhappy and his Dad is unhappy. He cannot win. The logical answer to all of this is to give the tickets to his Dad and brother.<P>Of course you'd be mad because he gave away $175 tickets that you bought for him and you. He cannot win on this one and I suspect that he wishes he didn't have the tickets right now.<P>I really doubt that he is trying to make you mad nor trying to say he doesn't love or appreciate you. He is in a crack and by the way he probably did really want to go (you where right all along).<P>So inamess, just relax. I'll bet he appreciates you more than you know but this situation has gotten out of hand and he doesn't know how to make it right with everybody.<P>Hope this helps.<P>God Bless,<P>JL<P>

Renee, <BR>How you been girl? I think that Just Learning is right. Just relax and let Monday get here. Things will be ok and you will feel better. <P>I think you should plan something for Monday anyway... Just because this weekend went to He!! doesn't mean you can't make Monday special... So put it behind you and go for it... and let me know what happens....<P>Lacee

Yup...now I know I'm the one who started the pity party because I didn't even get a card for Valentine's Day.<P>However, I did follow up on how my H's intentions were good and how he didn't mean to hurt my feelings...and how I misinterpreted his actions as uncaring when they were just clueless.<P>Anyway, I think you are putting your own spin on your H's actions. He sounds like he is in a tough spot and there is no way of pleasing anyone. And he can't read your mind...and if he could he might ask you to support him instead of making it tougher. Sometimes H & W's do that for each other and that's OK as long as it's mutual.<P>Now you can make it a miserable anniversary by interpretting his clueless actions to mean he doesn't care, then acting "as if" that were true.<P>How about just saying you are really disappointed the way the anniversary is turning out. You had looked forward to it because it meant so much to you. Then see what he says. You know, anniversaries and holidays are somewhat artificial...and usually women are the more sentimental anyway. Even if the actual anniversary celebration is not as important to him as it is to you doesn't mean he cares less.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

FHL, You are not the only one not to receive anything on V-day....<P>As I posted a couple of months ago, W remembered to sign the lease on her apartment on 7 Jan, but didn't remember our anniversary until she got home that night and saw the card I left for her.<P>Her sister was visiting us on V-day and I got her(W) a big beautiful bouquet with a great card, balloons and a stuffed animal. She then told her sister that we rarely ever did anything for V-day. Right in front of her sister, I said that that wasn't true. That <B>she</B> had never done anything, but I had on more than half of them since we had been together.<P>inamess - See, you are not the only one, but I think very much that JL may be right. Your H is acting like he's going to do something on Monday. I hope he is...you deserve it...<P>--DeWayne--

Heartpain,<P>Thank you so much for the compliment. I needed that. Especially now. H isnt here. And I dont think he has ever done anything to hurt my feelings like this before.<P>Now I feel like all this trying was useless. And of course Im hating his dad. How can I get over this. When I woke up this morning, That was teh first thing to hit my mind. How he picked his dad over me. It is like I have tried so hard. He hasnt tried as hard as I have. AND THIS IS THE "THANK YOU" PRESENT.<P>He better not even think of doing anything Monday. I am staying in another town for work. It wasnt like he didnt know what he was doing. This has been a problem for years. His dad is a very very jelous person. I have overlooked this and overlooked this. Till Im fed up. We weree doing so good. <P>I wasnted so bad to dig up the potatoes last night. LOL!!<P>I did talk to him and he said he was sorry. And I never love busted. I told him that I was over it now. I told him that I was going to dig up the potatoes. LOL!! he laughed and said "Good" If that makes you feel better then that is what I want you to do.<P>Not only that Dad is going to have him working Monday afternoon. Im sure if it is a pretty day then they will be on the farm.<P>IM JUST VENTING..........<BR>THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHOWING THE CONCERN!!!!<BR>Renee<BR>