The last I knew bigamy is still illegal. <P>Why then are society and the courts not more critical of a married person who lives with his/her new partner who they became involved with through an EMA in the first place?<P>Why do the courts enable this spouse and OP to have overnight access with the children. I see this as a question of morality...if it is illegal for a person to have 2 spouses through marriage, how can they have one through marriage and an OP living with them? The courts do not view this in any way negatively and there is no price to pay for the infidels in terms of anything. They can leave devestation behind in their wake and still reap the rewards as no-one frowns on this, .....how is this possible? <BR>There are few consequences for this immoral behaviour in our society.<BR> Until a divorce is final, the partner who embarked on a course of infidelity and then moved in with OP should be viewed as taking part in moral if not illegal bigamy, IMHO. <BR>I have moved on as H is still embroiled in his fantasy with OW. She now lives with him in his condo. Since he is still married to me...(the divorce will take a long time due to complicated finances.) I consider him an adulterer, and a bigamist. And the children are supposed to see that this is all OK?????<BR>How can they learn when not only is EH living this way, he is teaching them contempt for the sancity of marriage, contempt for family, responsibility and encourages a valueless view of society in general.<P>------------------<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> I consider him an adulterer, and a<BR>bigamist. And the children are supposed to see that this is all OK????? How can they learn when not only is EH living this way, he is teaching them contempt for the sancity of marriage, contempt for family, responsibility and encourages a valueless view of society in general.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes, he's an adulterer. No, bigamy is a legal definition, not a strictly moral one.<BR>As for the kids, he is teaching them contempt for family, responsibility, commitment and personal responsibility.<BR>I accept (somewhat unhappily) that the courts worry about legal issues, not moral ones. What bothers me more is that society at large, including the religious community seems to accept adultery. Jesus accepted the sinner, but not the sin...sometimes it seems we are too willing to accept both.<BR>All you can do is show your kids what is right by your example. Be careful what you say in front of them though...they do not need to view their dad as a slimeball...it would only hurt them more.<BR>ehugs--<BR>Kathi

I had a thought on this (surprising as it may seem )...<P>Check your state laws on "Common Law Marriages". Some states say that co-habitation in an conjucial (sp?) relationship constitutes a Common Law Marriage. <P>It's something to consider if you want to persue it.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{willbok99}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>Thoughts & Prayers,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Kam and Butterfly,<BR>Thanks for taking the time to reply. I see EH as in a continuing downward spiral and this is his problem and no longer mine. What does still get to me is how his, IMHO, immorality about so much(OW is not the main issue) is now descriptive of who he is. Rules, boundaries are not for him and this has impacts on the children, which is what tears me up still.<P>The kids know all the details as they are all teens and still love their father as they should and see him. His behaviour is what determines what they think of him. I do not need to villify him, he manages to do this to himself!<BR>All is very complicated especially when children are involved

willbok99 -- I'm sorry that you are still having to continue this battle.<P>My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your children.<P>BTW - I think kam6318 has a very good idea here. Look into the common law in your state. You may have a little ammunition left after all.<P>God Bless