How do you handle when you now he is depressed about the OW? I can see it in his face when I look at him. What do I do? It is so hard to see this sadness in him. He mood switches so fast at times, we are having a good time in the evening and then in the morning he seems sad. I must control myself and put my feelings on hold and support him I realize this, but how?<P><BR>HELP, a friend of mine saw OW today while working out, and said something to her. I am afraid that she will contact my H. What do I do, we are to have lunch together today?<BR>My friend told OW she is pathetic and that is all. The OW was nervous she doesn't like to be confronted. I have never talked with this person but we will run into each other sometime. My H told me he would tell me if she contacted him, should I ask him or not? He is still depressed about her and Tuesdays are not good for him since most of the cheating happened after his bowling. <BR>

So the OW doesn't like to be confronted? Too bad she messed around with a MM, then, isn't it?<P>Your H may or may not tell you, despite the promise, despite you asking. I think I would tell him about your friend and open the opportunity to talk. He still might not tell you. I'm frustrated just thinking about this for you and remembering going through it so many times.

You handle the depression by just getting through it. Don't take it personally. My h was depressed too, but it went away overnight. Little did I know that he had reestablished contact with ow via the phone. If it ends too soon, be suspisious. Otherwise look at it as the way to the end. Just something you have to go through. You may want to tell you h what your friend did. Just be cautious that you do not trash the ow. For some reason my h thinks he needs to defend the ?*%^# to the end. Drives me nuts cause I of course have a very unkind opinion of ow. Just keep working on yourself and doing the right things. Hopefully your h will come around

Derby: Thank you for your input, I have told my H, and he was glad I told him. I have been insane for three weeks now and finding this site I will calm down, to work on our marriage. He said in the conversation he would read His Needs/Her needs, I am ordering the book today. Working on his needs will move us forward I know this now. Thank you so very much. <P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lor (Lor):<BR><B>So the OW doesn't like to be confronted? Too bad she messed around with a MM, then, isn't it?<P>Your H may or may not tell you, despite the promise, despite you asking. I think I would tell him about your friend and open the opportunity to talk. He still might not tell you. I'm frustrated just thinking about this for you and remembering going through it so many times. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks, for your input, I did tell my h and he is glad I did. I am learning to get help with MB site and with everyone here. It really has helped me understand what I have been doing wrong, I have put my h through alot for 3 weeks, not understanding what way to handle this. Thank you so very much!!!!!!<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jc67501:<BR><B>Derby: Thank you for your input, I have told my H, and he was glad I told him. I have been insane for three weeks now and finding this site I will calm down, to work on our marriage. He said in the conversation he would read His Needs/Her needs, I am ordering the book today. Working on his needs will move us forward I know this now. Thank you so very much. <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Order the workbook also. you will need the forms. They are a big help. Hang in there.

Have you talked about moving? Dr. Harley recommends this and three years ago when I was going through this for the first time I wish I would have taken his advice. A fresh start away from the OW and other memories. IF my wife turns and decides to work on things this time we will move. However, moving for me will nearly double my salary which makes things a little easier. Prayers, T2