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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 7 |
I had an affair (although "happily" married) and now have contracted HSV-2 as a result. How do I tell my husband, whom I truly love? I DO want this marriage. Someone PLEASE help me!
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,062
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,062 |
Please don't do what my father did to my mother: he didn't tell her until she had it. I would be up front with him and let him know what has happened. If he is faithful and he gets it then he will immediately know what has occurred. That path is really bad. <P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284 |
judee4u,<P>Do you know why you had the affair? You H is going to be devastated but if you don't have some reasons he will not be able to develop trust for you again. For if the answer is <BR>"just because" how can he ever be sure that it won't happen again. <P>Also I suspect that this level may not be fatal, but not an expert on such things. But if it is treatable or preventable in transmission he needs to know very very soon.<P>You might want to amplify your story so that the posters here can offer some more concrete advice. You can put it in your profile, which is found by clicking on the glasses.<P>I am sure you will get the welcome from NSR. If you want go to his postings in the "Just Foundout" section and read. You will need to really have a good grip on this when you tell your H.<P>God Bless You and Your H,<P>JL
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,299
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,299 |
Hello Judee4u,<P>I contracted HSV-2 after my husband had a brief affair. When I began having symptoms he confessed the affair because he knew I was going to the doctor. Thank goodness he told me beforehand, I cannot imagine how devastating it would be to find out from a doctor that your spouse had been unfaithful.<P>Are your certain that it is HSV-2? Have you been tested for other STD's? I know that this is difficult, but you must practice safe sex, though condoms don't protect against STD's 100%.<P>You absolutely must tell your husband the truth. With medication you can control the disease and reduce the chance of transmission, but it is a devastating disease because there is no cure for it. He deserves to know the truth and must be protected as much as possible.<P>Best of luck,<P>Peppermint
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 7 |
PEPPERMINT! Please, how can I speak with you more about this? Besides through the bulletin board? Can I e-mail you??? J.<P>
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298 |
judee--<P>here's a site you may find interesting: <BR> <A HREF="http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/herpes.html" TARGET=_blank>http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/herpes.html</A> <P>I contracted HSV-1 through oral sex. Outbreaks are rare and very mild, though obviously still cause for concern. Seems to be induced by stress in my case.<P>If you'd like to e-mail me, it's LucksLEC@aol.com. I'm trigger happy with the delete key, so please refer to MarriageBuilders in the subject line. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif)
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 798
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 798 |
<BR>judee4u,<P>Your disease has no cure. It is beyond unconscionable to expose your husband to this incurable disease without his informed consent. Ethically, you have a total obligation to inform him of your affair and your disease.<P>I really can't state it more clearly than that. You MUST tell him.<P>Bystander
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 7 |
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bystander:<BR><B><BR>judee4u,<P>. . .It is beyond unconscionable to expose your husband to this incurable disease without his informed consent. . . .<BR>I really can't state it more clearly than that. You MUST tell him.<P>Bystander</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Of course I will tell him! I love him!!! I would not knowingly ever risk his health or life. And I do realize I've destroyed his mental wellbeing, but I hope he'll be strong enough to get through this.<P>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,022
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,022 |
hey there!!!!<P>isn't this fun?!?!?!!!!<P>e-mail me at <P>sacred_rain@yahoo.com<P>although.....my quandry was different....my H never told the OW that he had been exposed through 5 years of marriage to me...I've lived with it for a decade now......<P>any help I can I can give....<P>Dylan
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