My H (of 5 years) and I have been seperated one month now, and until recently I felt as though there was some hope for restoring our marriage (he left after I discover affairs...) We have to talk fairly often because of some bills and of course our 7 month old daughter. H says he doesn't believe that I ever truly loved him and he never truly loved me, I know this is not true though. People tell me he is feeling guilty and trying to place the blame on me by saying I never loved him, etc. He is not the same person that I married. I married a man that placed a high value on his Christianity, family, Church, and friends, yet now he is willing to turn away from all of these things for the OW. I know my husband thinks our daughter is the most wonderful thing in the world, yet he seems to find it easy to only see her a few times a month and miss out on one of the most exciting times of her life as she is doing something new everyday now when 3 months ago he would rush to get home from work and school just so he would be able to feed her bedtime bottle and put her to bed. I still want to restore my relationship with my husband because I do love him with all of my heart. I pray many times a day, not only that his heart will be open to my love, and our marriage, but that God would also work in the OW heart that she would not have the desire to break up a marriage and home. Neither of us has filed for divorce yet, and I taken that as a good sign until now, and I just don't know anymore. I would love to hear some advice from everyone...I want to keep fighting for my marriage, but how?

Have you read any of Steve Harley's books? That may be a start to help you understand some of the things you are both feeling and how to put it in perspective.

Karen7,<P>Take hope, God also wants you to reconcile. You are fresh into this, you will find people here who've been in the battle for sometime now, (personally 4 months). If you haven't been reading Surviving an Affair, I really do highly recommend it as well as other books too.<P>Most importantly, recognize who the enemy is, it's not your husband. It makes it much easier to continue to love him in ways that he will let you, in the face of such opposition.<P>In my situation, I recognize that there are 4 parties involved. Yours sounds like 5, God, the omnipotent, Satan the defeated, your H and you and the OW. Satan is telling your H lies and he will try to tell you those lies to, don't believe them. Doubt and fear come from Satan, Faith and Hope come from God.<BR>Remember that Satan is not omnipotent. He can't be everywhere, he can't know your thoughts, he plants thoughts in your mind, seeds of doubt and discouragement. Then you act frightened which is exactly what he wants you to do. We are not trusting God when (I'm telling myself this too :-) ) we walk in fear.<P>Surrender yourself to the Holy Spirit, let him direct your paths, Provers 3; 5&6<P>If he is a Christian man as it sounds like you believe he is, then God will bring him to conviction.<P>God bless you, hang in there,<P>Repenting