For you non-Canadians, a "Newfie" is someone from Newfoundland...objects of jokes like Aggies, West Virginians, etc from the states...Also remember that French-Canadians from Quebec are looked down upon by many of the more eastern and western Canadians...<P>An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to a neurosurgeon and<BR>asked, "Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a<BR>Newfie?" "Sure, it's easy," replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to<BR>do is cut out one-third of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie."<P>The Ontarian was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation.<BR>However, the surgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting out a third<BR>of the patient's brain, he accidentally cut out two-thirds of the<BR>patient's brain. He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently<BR>beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anaesthetic.<P>As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him, "I'm<BR>terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting<BR>out one-third of your brain, I accidentally cut out two-thirds of your<BR>brain!"<P>The patient replied, "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"<BR>

DeWayne,<P>You better watch out Dylan and Deut might come after you with a loaf of french bread and a can of pea soup. LOL <P>J/K Dylan and Deut<BR>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole <p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited March 03, 2000).]

Heartpain, <BR> How's it going my fellow Canadain,eh? Cute joke! I'm from the western province of British Columbia. Sorry, no good jokes about any Canadians come to mind. Have you heard of the music group called, Great Big Sea? They originate from back east. I found their music was so easy to listen to after D-day. It was hard to listen to any music - it reminded me of the affair. They came to my city a few months ago. I loved the concert. Melonie Doane performed too. Take Care, BECCA

eh!!!!!!!<P>asti colisse.....<P>qu'est ce que vous voulez dire avec cette blague la?!?!?!<P>hey...you dere....you canadehan......me cousin had dis hoperation...an' now me cousin he his jes fin....you liberal non quebecois canadehan wierdos.....<P><BR>Dylan....don' worrie,..me, I wood not waste me pea soup by trowhing it....an' me french pain wood never be used violently....<P><BR>LOL

MORE CANADIAN HUMOUR:<P>The Canadian Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with an auto maker for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pick-up trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.<BR>><BR>> They were surprised to find in almost all areas of Canada, the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "OH, ****!"<BR>><BR>> Only the Maritime provinces were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this, eh?".<P><BR>LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Ok, from Toronto<P>How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool on a blisteringly hot day?<P>Say "Eeverybody get out of the pool please."

OK, I confess. I'm not Canadian, but W is from Tsawassen, Delta, BC. This meant that I got to hear a lot of these kinds(Newfie) of jokes from her family...<P>Dylan...I used to live in 'Nawlins and some of what you have written has a sound I'm familiar with...Which reminds me of a legend....<P>When the Acadians(Cajuns) left the Maritimes for Louisiana, some of the lobsters they fished for decided to travel there too. So the lobsters swam along the East Coast, around Florida and on to Louisiana. The trek was so grueling that the lobsters lost weight and shrank. By the time they reached Louisiana, they had been reduced in size to the crawfish that are harvested and eaten there now....<P>--DeWayne--<BR>

LOL Dylan <P>Your accent cracked me up...My dad didn't speak a word of English until he was 7 years old and although I don't really hear it Arik says he has a strong French accent. Arik says he sounds like the aardvark in the "Ant and the Aardvark Cartoon". "Hey ant why don you come out of dat hole?" <P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole