When ever my H and I talk he says, just seeing or hearing her voice his heart drops. He doesn't know if he can have that with me. He doesn't remember if he ever did. We are Plan Aing it and no contact has been made, he is avoiding it at all costs. He is very depressed, like grieving death. I listen to him talk to him and he misses her so much. He told me that if he chosse today the outcome would be different, he would be with her. Any advise, besides being there and listening. We have been doing this for awhile since D-Day.

Hi Bighope and Welcome,<P>I am sorry that you both are hurting so much.....it must be very hard on you to hear all his cravings. Keep your mind on the fact that he is being honest and trying so hard to shake this addiction. Bravo to both of you and you're in my prayers.<P>The only things that I can think of would be to make sure to have some fun time.....recreational activities and some laughter can go a long way!!<P>I think there is a topic on the main board site for suggested recreation..you<BR>might want to check it out. Do whatever you feel would add a "fun" and "lighthearted" atmosphere" to your lives at least on occassion, so that he can get some other things taking over his brain!!<P>Big Hugs, Prayers and Strength to you both,<P>Sheba

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sheba:<BR><B>Hi Bighope and Welcome,<P>I am sorry that you both are hurting so much.....it must be very hard on you to hear all his cravings. Keep your mind on the fact that he is being honest and trying so hard to shake this addiction. Bravo to both of you and you're in my prayers.<P>The only things that I can think of would be to make sure to have some fun time.....recreational activities and some laughter can go a long way!!<P>I think there is a topic on the main board site for suggested recreation..you<BR>might want to check it out. Do whatever you feel would add a "fun" and "lighthearted" atmosphere" to your lives at least on occassion, so that he can get some other things taking over his brain!!<P>Big Hugs, Prayers and Strength to you both,<P>Sheba </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks for your input, I will read that section. I never thought of him being honest telling me this. But he is, I guess that means alot. <P>

Bighope--<BR> Sorry, I do not know your story, and didn't see anything under your profile. Don't know how long your H was involved, whther the affair was physical or emotional or what.<BR> I do know my H has been going thru a very painful withdrawal after an emotional affair with a co-worker. He has cried in my arms, bcs he misses her so much, so I have an idea of what you mean. He has compared it to grieving a death. He is getting better now, and I trust your H will also, in time.<BR> Look at the positives:<BR>He is still with you.<BR>He is being honest with you.<BR>He is in a lot of pain, and yet trying to persevere and not contact her...<P>Hang in there--<BR>Kathi