Who knows how many things my H was angry or resentful about, but never let me know? I had been assuming it was conflict avoidance, but maybe that was just a tool, a tool which allowed him to keep "punishing" me for whatever he was angry about. He could deny being angry, and yet be short-tempered, irritable, impatient, and disrespectful - and it would hurt even more because I had no idea why. And then he came up with the ultimate "punishment" - an affair.<P>I must admit I envy those betrayed whose spouses admit that it is about them, not the betrayed, whose spouses say they are sorry for hurting them, even if they aren't sorry about the affair, whose spouses say they love them but not in the right way, whose spouses say they want to remain friends, whose spouses admit that they had any part in the downfall of the marriage. The only mistakes my H will admit to are 1)marrying me and 2) not recognizing a long time ago that our (unspecified) problems were insurmountable, and divorcing me then. <P>

Sweetpea,<P>It's tempting. It probably couldn't make things any worse. I did tell him that I was forwarding his email to my lawyer and asking her to deal with his lawyer about it.