Hi Jill,<P>I've never posted here on MB before, but having watched your threads with interest, I have to respond to you.<P>Your letter to yourself, to reveal this to your husband, had me in tears. Especially your reference to Gomer and Hosea. That book has special meaning to me, since I was given the prophecy of Hosea concerning my wife and I, and am now living it.<P>You are a wonderful lady!!! Hang in there, pray tons, and have Faith! God will walk you through this.<P>One thing that you are going to have to face, is that you have had time to deal with the affair, your husband hasn't. You are at different places along the journey of recovery. Keep that in mind, and give him the love, compassion, understanding, strength he will need, and will be searching for.<P><BR>I wish I could try to answer your questions, but all I can do is tell you what I felt/feel with my wife's affairs.<P>My wife keeping the secret wasn't anymore painful for me than the affair itself. I just hurt horribly. I was utterly numb. Though, and this is important, I never stopped loving her. I love my wife more today, even living Hosea, than the day I married her.<P>I can't offer too many suggestions on what to expect afterwards either. Again pray, and trust in God. He will see you through this.<P>I would expect him to feel a thousand different things.<P>I am not sure that this will help, I hope so. I think it will help me to say it though. :-)<P>This is what I would have loved to have had when I learned of my wife's affairs.<P>Love, Understanding, Love, Compasion, Love, Patience, Love, Strength, Love, Determination (to make it work), Love.<P>I wouldn't want to see my wife ready to leave. I would want my wife to tell me "NO! I want to save this marriage! I believe we can!" to any statements of get out or, but understand my need for some personal space too. Actually I would want my wife to cuddle me, and let me loose all my emotions crying them out on her lap.<P>Be strong for your husband, he is going to need that. He very well may feel any number of impulses, God and your love for him are the key factors in this. trust in those!<P>Now, this one question I can anwser... <P>>> What if HE wants to leave? Do I step aside gracefully?<P>According to the bible you are to let him go. Peacefully. Pray about it. God will take care of you!!<P>Give your husband time to grieve for the loss. Be there for him throughout this time. That is going to make a huge difference for him. I really believe that!<P>Can I make a suggestion? I thought of this when the OM emailed you the other day. Take a moment and say a prayer. Bind Satan from you, your home, your husband, etc... You have the authority through Jesus Christ to do that. Do it!!! Make sure you say it outloud too! So that Satan knows that he is bound too! Do not give the enemy anyway into this situation!<P>And, I guess last and most importantly... Once again Pray tons!!<P>You will be in my prayers!!!<P>Johnnie<BR>