Hello all...having a bad day today after a pretty good weekend. Couple of things that are bothering me and I need some advice. Here goes...<P>1. W has always sent me jokes via e-mail from work. It used to be that she'd just forward them to me...and some were from OM before affair. Now in the last two-three weeks, she's started cutting and pasting jokes so the previous sender doesn't show. Should I be concerned?<P>2. Same situation with the phone. I've noticed strange #'s when I hit the redial button from time to time. Haven't confronted her about this...am I just being overly paranoid?<P>3. She tells me that things are fine and she's happy. Sometimes when I look at her she has this far away look in her eye that scares me. How do I deal with this?<P>4. She's told me recently that I am crowding her space...and I think it's true. Before discovery, we could sit in the same room or be in close proximity and I wouldn't need to touch her to know she was there. Now I find myself touching her at every opportunity...and looking for where she is when I can't do that. Why am I doing this and how can I stop it so I don't crowd her anymore.<P>Thanks for reading this.<P>------------------<BR>The realization that life is not fair is a pain that lasts a lifetime, but with perserverance and love, the pain can be greatly eased.

Hi L&S<P>1) If they are cut and paste then there is some concern. Ask her about it and see if the emails stop altogether.<P>2) Weird phone #'s... monitor that. Do not let W know you are checking redial button. If it is only you two operating the phone then have concern. My W was constantly changing the redial numbers, especially after she found out I was checking redial button.<P>3) Dealing with the far away stare... stimulate her with meaningful conversation. Ask questions and listen, don't talk just listen.<P>4) Whatever you do, DO NOT turn into a helpless puppy dog constantly seeking affection and acceptence. This is very common I find from men who are being betrayed. I myself turned into a basket case, following W around seeking affection. This only drive the W away. You need to get on a regular routine of doing your own thing. Start exercising or reading. You need to regain your repect and self confidence. You need to have her notice you as she did when you first met. Being a desparate being is not attractive and not what you did to get her attention in the first place. Build this aura of strength and self confidence, either way you win by feeling better or by her noticing you again.<P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>"Better to die on my feet than live on my knees"

You can call 411 and ask for the name and address for those numbers. Also you can get a caller Id and maybe hide it to see if you are getting incoming calls.<BR>Older post had about taping calls but I wouldn't want to hear any details although I easedropped my w and om phone conversations. Knowing only half the conversation drove me notes though.

Dear Lost: Go to www.infospace.com/<P>Just keep following the headings, until you get to reverse lookup. You will be able to put in the area code, and the number, and it will tell you the name of the person matching the number. From there, you will be able to get the address, as well as a map of the area. I am computer illiterate, and am probably telling you the roundabout way to do it, but you will get results. Good Luck.<P><p>[This message has been edited by why me (edited September 08, 1999).]

Hi lost,<P>Are you and W working with Dr. Harley's principles from this website and his books? Honesty is one of his principles. <P>If you are using them and you have questions, ask her in a direct yet non-judgmental way.<P>If you are not using them, I would suggest working on the Love Buster information first so that she will be emptying your tank with love busters while she is trying to meet your emotional needs.<P>Hope that helps.<BR>Hugs and prayers,<BR>Thoughtful<P><P>------------------<BR>To save your marriage use Dr. Harley's methods at <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/</A> <BR>

thoughtful,<P>no we are not at present. W is acting as if nothing has happened.

I can only comment on no. 1...<P>Sometimes when I'm forwarding an email joke, if it's been forwarded already many times and the headers/trailers are long, I cut and paste too. And that's just because I think nobody wants to have to scroll through a bunch of names they don't know -- ease of reading. <P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<BR>