<BR>So, I chickened out before, not anymore!<P>I got the taxes done that H was complaining about.(He says now that he won't sign them!) But that's still not enough for him. Now instead of giving me money he just wants to pay the bills. (I don't trust him to). How do I feed my kids then? I had a budget worked out so that I could manage the bills and have food in the house. Now I guess I don't deserve that. <P>When he moved out we were behind on our house payment. Now he wonders why I'm still behind. Plus he thinks I should be caught up on the bills. How when I haven't had any money for a month now?<BR> <BR>Oh, and get this! Now for the third week in a row, he's told me he filed! Little does he know, that he is going to be served with papers Friday morning at the OW's house!! <P>I'm just fed up with this person! I don't know him anymore and I don't want to! <P>Now I'm done venting!<P>Mitzi

you go mitzi!!!!!<P>you know you have my support<BR>Love ya hun <BR>Lesa<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Lesa,<P>I'm just so disgusted! I'm trying to think of all the little tricks he's pulling and all the little tricks he's gonna try to pull. I think he wants the bills so he can say they are his monthly expenses. NOT! Plus it's hard for me to believe he's talked to a lawyer because he has no idea what his child support could be, no idea what my attorney could ask for, NOTHING! Then he tells me if I need any info to get in touch with his attorney but he won't say who his attorney is. For these reasons, I haven't given him any info about my attorney or filing. He is so clueless!!<P>I wish I could sign the papers today!!!!<P>Mitzi

Hang tough Mitzi! A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do, to protect herself and her children. Sounds like the time has come for you to take a stand and we are all behind you. I've been there and having the papers served was very hard for me--my ex was military at the time, and I had him served in the middle of a meeting with his commanding officer! He told me he wanted a divorce when my children were in the next room and I couldn't say a word. I wanted him to know what it felt like. That was my only revengful thing I did. After those papers are served , hold your head up, and take the high road!

db713,<P>I'm trying not to let this turn into a revenge thing. I don't want anyone to think I'm only asking for a lot of stuff because I'm the "woman scorned." Although I would love to get everything I ask for! <P>I would like to have him served in one of the bars that he hangs out in!!! And I'd like to be a fly on the wall. I want to see his reaction when he reads them and has them explained to him. (I'm filing on the grounds of adultery. I am going to talk to my lawyer about the domestic violence issue also. I hadn't mentioned that before. I just didn't want to have to bring it up) <P>Thanks,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>I am glad to see you have made your decision. I am sorry your h is making it so hard for you. Good luck and prayers to you!!! Take good care of yourself and you are a strong person! You can do this!<P>Woozy

Woozy,<P>He's just trying to think of any excuse he can not to give me money. So, I have no choice. I can't just file for seperation (It doesn't exist in WV), I have to file for divorce. <P>I hope I'm this angry when I go to sign the papers!!<P>Prayers to you too,<BR>Mitzi

Good for you Mitzi!<P>I think you are on the right track, keep all information and bills and copies of all important paper to yourself. He will get hit by the clue-by-four soon enough!!!<P>Protect yourself and your kids.<P>((((Mitzi)))<P><P>------------------<BR>Cat<P>catfrommb@yahoo.com

Mitzi,<P>I hope you can stay angry. I haven't been able to stay angry with my h all of a sudden. He is being too nice. I don't get it. He doesn't even know if I am filing for divorce and he hasn't ever mentioned that he is. He hasn't asked me if I am filing either. Right now the only thing we have done is work on child support issues. That is because when he moved out, I had to go and apply for food stamps and cash assistance. So, the government is going to make sure he pays me child support. I don't know where this is all headed for me. Right now, I am afraid I am going against my better judgement and putting it off, the divorce that is. Although somebody said it doesn't hurt not to rush it. In my case anyway. Your story is completely different. I just got an e-mail from my h and he said he is going to put in a lot of overtime to help me out with the bills. I sent him a list of the bills and he said he is going to come here to deposit his check on Thursday. <P>Just stay mad Mitzi! That is all I can say! Take Care!!!!! Woozy

Mitzi__I am sorry for my wording inmy previous. I didn't mean to imply you were being vengful. What I meant to say was that when I was going through divorce I was so angry with my ex and wanted to do something to get back at him for all the hurt and pain he caused me. That's why I had him served at his office. The best revenge of all is to be happy when all of this is over. I hope you get everything the law allows you and your children--you more than deserve it for what you have put up with. I am behind you 100%

Mitzi,<P>Hi! And to woozy and cat above. How are you feeling right now? The anger will help you to get over the hurt . I went thru the anger. I think I am past it but it really helped. I am only on chapter 2 still of the book cat recommended, rebuilding when the relationship ends, however, From what I see you might like this book.<P>Sending you some peace and prayers today. You are not vengeful, but what comes around goes around, and when it does, don't feel bad for enjoying it when it happens! H is going to get his, you'll see. WHy is he not signing taxes now? I thought he wanted them done? <P>Dana<BR>

Cat,<P>My attorney is going to keep copies of everything and make copies for me. He can have them when the law master orders it!<P>Woozy,<BR>I'm trying to stay mad. Hopefully I can get to the attorney tomorrow so the anger won't have time to wear off!!<P>db713,<P>I didn't think you were implying that. I just wanted to let everyone know that this is now about revenge. I am going to feel good about the financial part and right now, if I could do more to hurt him I would.<P>Dana,<BR>Right now, I'm still angry and thinking evil thoughts about my H! LOL I am not gonna let him control me anymore. He thinks I don't have the guts to be mad at him and file against him. Well, he thought wrong!!<P><BR>Thanks everyone,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR>I tried twice on your previous post to post some stuff about my expierence with abuse. I will get back to you later on that subject. The first post I was crying so bad that I got up to leave and when I came back it had booted me off.<P>If your like me....the anger will come and go.....the pain and sadness will come back again and again.<P>I didn't want to hurt my H at all. I didn't ask for anything on the original D papers. Just the usual....temporary custody and exclusive rights to the house and Van.<P>Keep this in mind....my new attorney was very disgusted in the way my old attorney wrote up stuff. Be VERY specific.<P>Mine just put....he is responsible for all maritial obligations that have occured on or before the date of filing. Told me that that included the monthly obligations of utilities, phone, car pmts, car insurance, liscence plates, cable....etc. But when H started disconnecting stuff and refused to pay some stuff.....even after judge signed the papers...I had no recource.<P>Be Specific....even if they have to retype up the papers. Don't fall into the ole.....they know what I mean. That killed me.<P>Nancy

Mitzi,<P>Just be careful after he is served. Don't be at home or some place he can find you easliy. If he is angry, he may lash out at you. HAve you considered a restaining order ?<P>Don't feel bad about filing. I had said that since she wanted the divorce I wasn't going to file. But after her not wanting to work on the marriage and going back to the om after what she had said about him, I decided it was time to move on.<P>I did everything I could to save my marriage, after the fact, and she wasn't interested. So I have no(well not too much) guilt. I do sometimes wonder if I could have Plan A'd or B'd better and wonder if I would have had more patience, but I have come to realize that it wouldn't have mattered. I'm also noticing that my single life isn't much different that my married life was from the past few years so I don't even miss her now.<P>Now I know better than to take someone for granted and will work on that in my next relationship.<P>Take care and God Bless<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Nancy,<P>Thanks for the advice! I never really thought about him cancelling and disconnecting stuff. I will definately make sure there is a way he can't do that.<P>I honestly can't understand why he is being so nasty. Even when he was beating on me, minutes later he was apologetic and kind if not loving. This is just blowing me away!!<P>Thanks again,<BR>Mitzi<P><BR>Bob,<P>My family lives all around me, My brother lives next door, and my parents live 3 houses away. I've already made arrangements for them to be around Friday. And believe me, I'm not going anywhere all weekend! And he can't get in the house, he doesn't have a key.<P>I only miss him occasionally. And I don't think it's him I miss. I think it's the companionship I miss. I just get lonely. I liked living with another adult. I loved him so much and now I can hardly remember how that love felt. And that's what makes me sad.<P>As long as I can hurry and get the papers filed, I'm not gonna feel bad. So hopefully I won't have to wait till late in the week.<P>You take care Bob,<BR>Mitzi<P>BTW, that's my H's name (Bob) LOL