Well he didn't pick the girls up until Saturday. Must of had plans Friday. They didn't want to go anyway...so I guess it made everyone happy. That is all that counts. Everyones happy.<P>Well first of all he let them play with his old briefcase. To their surprise...it was full of stuff about their mommy. All kinds of police reports from my arrest and stuff that he gave to the custody evaluator. <P>Now, they didn't just play with it without asking...he gave it to them.<P>He repeatedly told our 7 year old that she was "stupid" and "dumb".<P>I guess the mustang convertable....the one he gave me as a present...got some holes put in it at the apartment...well he spoke rather loudly to his sister on the phone. I guess she blamed me. Nice huh?<P>The girls were upset about that. They know better. And so does my stbx. I would never do such a thing.<P>Took them bowling...couldn't just let them have fun. They did everything wrong....from holding the ball wrong to where they were standing. He made fun of them and said they looked stupid and he was embarassed to be seen with them. They are 7 & 9.<P>He is simply unbelievable.<P>Nancy

Oh Nancy,<P>I am so sorry! I feel for you! My boys are 7 and 9! How horrible for your girls. I can't believe your h was so horrible to them. What an awful man! He is! Is there no way you can keep your girls away from him? That makes me so sad. If my h treated my boys like that I would go ballistic! These poor girls have been through enough already! I am so sorry! Just love those girls like there is no tomorrow to make up for the sorry excuse that is their father! Sorry if I sound harsh on this but I hate it when adults try to make children feel worthless. It is hard enough being a kid these days without that kind of treatment!<BR>Take care of yourself!<P>Woozy

Hi, Nancy. Whenever I'm on this board it's usually your posts and Nellie's I read first because your situations are most like mine - that is, your husbands are both mentally ill like mine. Isn't it ironic that these crazy men will try to blame everyone but themselves, including their own kids, for everything that goes wrong in their lives? Your ex is cruel to his own children. This is inexcusable. My husband, who left last January, is the same way. He has actually tried to turn my older two kids, ages 12 and 9, on their younger brother (age 8), saying that he is the one who spent all the money and that's why he doesn't have money to spend on them when they go out. He is just like your husband. Also, he and his girlfriend conspire against me the way your husband does with his GF. It is scary, isn't it? I wish I had your and Nellie's email address. Here is mine if you ever want to "talk." You know, Nancy, most people really don't understand what we're going through. We have husbands who are sick, sick, sick, but they are evil along with it. People give pat advice which essentially says get on with your life and don't let him control you. But they don't understand that "men" like this make it their mission in life to torture us (mostly now through our kids) relentlessly. Unless a person has experienced this firsthand they have no idea what kind of hell we are going through. Maud380741@aol.com

Nancy,<P>I really don't know what to say! So how about I just give you big<BR>(((((HUGS)))))<P>Mitzi

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NANCY}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Moving on is right I don't have the same experience that you have and it makes me incredibly angry to hear of any parent<BR>treat their own children like that.<P>It makes me wonder why they can't see the awful harm they are doing to them? How can you explain this behavior to your beautiful D's when their Daddy treats them this way. <BR>It just amazes me when I hear of such behavior. <P>Sorry this sounds so disjointed but I see "red" when I hear of treatment like that towards children. <P>------------------<BR>Peg

((((((((((((((((((NANCY)))))))))))))))<P>write it all down......<P>document it.......save it for your attorney...<P>hugs your girls, and make CERTAIN they know from you that they are not stupid and dumb..(I know you already have, but reinforc it every moment of the day you have them)..<P>were there any witnesses at the bowling alley?...<P>document every moment of denigration that your H puts the girls and yourself through..<P>I know that your situation and the probs with your H seem to leave you feeling hopeless, but until you get to court,and your attorney unleashes EVERY detail, and ALL the allegations, hang in there and try to repair what damage you can....<P>it's hard right now, but KNOW that your girls will know their worth..through you..and that loving them is the best you can do....someday their father will reap what hate and abuse he has heaped on them....<P>keep yourself and them safe.<P>see your attorney....<P>Dylan

That way he treats them becomes so old...such old news. I get so sick of telling people what he is doing. They all seem to tell me that if it were their kids their H would no longer be alive. Can't do that....would never even think about it.<P>The girls hardly cry about it anymore. They have become so immune to it that they just expect it and let most of it roll off their backs.<P>But I often wonder just how deep these wounds really are? 10 years from now....will they just fall to pieces?<P>That is what worries me....they are doing better in school....still have bad days...but they seem to be feeling better about themselves.<P>They know that they are great children. Neighbors and friends....ME....my family...we all can see this and we always make sure they know it.<P>They know that my love is unconditional.....that they can be themselves around me and that I will always be here for them.<P>I know that I have great strength. I have made it this far....and I'm not about to turn back now.<P>The girls and I have a bound that can't be broken.<P>Nancy