Well went and got the mail today. You guessed it...another envelope addressed to me in my maiden name. Inside was the utility bill with a note attached that says "pay your own bills!". According to the Nov. 19, 1999 court hearing about his precious Mustang......he is suppose to pay the utilities.....now this.<P>I know he wouldn't do this on his own. I know he wouldn't make a move without his attorney. So how can this be legal? I followed through with the court order...gave him the Mustang that night.....but now this.<P>What is even as strange is...he was also instructed to pay the local part of the phone bill. I have only made him do this once. For 3 months I have paid it without asking him for a penny.<P>See, I leave him alone. I don't call him....I don't acknowledge him...just like he asked me to do. I have left him alone. But what is his problem? <P>The girls told me this morning that he is acting really weird. Just like someone who is drunk all the time. I know that when in the girls presence that he is drinking O'Dools beer...so that can't be the problem. They saud that sometimes he will be walking in a public place and just stop...swivel his hips and pose....then say Mick Jagger and start laughing. I am so embarassed to tell you guys this. Has he gone off the deep end or what?<P>Nancy

i don't understand. Are you saying that he won't pay the utility bill, that the court ordered him to pay? I told you, he is REALLY trying to get a response. I'm sure their will be more until he can't take it anymore and then he will find some excuse to contact you. He wants a reaction to his actions. You've done a good job so far keep it up and vent here!

Swivels his hips and says "Mick Jagger!" ? Is he for real???? <P>You gotta get that on video, send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos, Jerk Spotlight. Good for a laugh. <P>As for the rest of the post, some guys (and gals) go nasty as a way of avoiding admitting responsibility for the break-up. I have no dvice on how to deal with it. The courts may award a settlement but inforcing it is not always easy.<P>

Thanks guys....the Mick Jagger thing is really a funny thing. Picture a 37 year old man.....balding....6 ft......225lbs.....boobs bigger than mine (which isn't hard)...a beer gut...swiveling his hips and posing. Not a pretty sight.<P>I called my attorney. Waiting for a call back.<P>Yes, it was agreed at the hearing that he pays.....or he will be held in contempt of court.<P>But I agree....enforcing it will be the hard part. It always is.<P>Thanks.....going to domestic violence meeting tonight.....check back in later<P>Nancy<P>PS Kenneth...you scared me...that is my H name and I was afraid to read your responce.

Oh Mental, I am sorry..<P>but the Mick Jagger think made me snort water out my nose when I read it! <P>Hope your lawyer can help.

I guess it adds comedy to such a sad situation

Cat, I am so glad I didn't have a mouthful of water when I read your post! That is hysterical!<P>Woozy

Hi Mental,<P>I just snorted too when I read that.!!!<P>I can't quite see the mick jagger thing. Isn't he skinny and ugly, with no boobs ???<P>Your H sounds as tho he has really lost it.<P>Keep on ignoring him. I agree, he is wanting a response. Don't, whatever you do, give him one. I always like to think the best of people, but I'm afraid your H makes me think otherwise. I can't understand a lot of the things he has done to you, why he would do what he has done. You must protect yourself here, and not give him any amunition to use against you. Be strong, stay strong. We are here for you, to support you, and hold you up. Don't let him get to you.<P>I guess you'll have to be guided by your lawyers as far as the bills go.<P>I'm thinking of you, and sending a big hug your way.<P>Do you want a bath bomb too???????<P>love and hugs<P>Jo

I will let my lawyer guide through this one. I have been wonderful.....I think that is the problem with him. He just can't stand it. <P>I really believe he has lost it. Between the candles ( about 20 of them) in his apartment.....the incense......the scented soaps on the back of his toilet....the car phone strapped to his a$$ all day.....and now the Mick Jagger thing....along with using my maiden name......my only question is....who or what is he? Talk about going from a Man to a ?<P>Nancy

It could be that Alien thing I keep hearing about.<P>The Head Honcho Alien Commander told one of his little Privates he was going to Earth<BR> as a sexy much sot after guy!!!!!!!!<P>I guess Mel Gibson was taken, so your "H"<BR>is going around trying to convince everyone who he really is. <P>Mick makes me ill and I'm not just talking about his singing.<P>I saw the Stones in concert when I was 14 and I have detested them ever since. <P>------------------<BR>Peg

Dear Mental, <P>Sorry to frighten you, I am most definately not your husband. I'm 160 lbs, no beer gut, & I can't stand Mick Jagger. While I have been known to sing in the shower, I believe that's something best kept between me & the soapdish. <P>Cheers,<BR>the other Kenneth

The funny thing is...he never could stand the Rolling Stones...or Mick Jagger.<P>He really has a problem that sounds like it should be addressed in the pshyco ward. But if they put a straight jacket on him.....would the affect be the same?<P>All kidding aside......I do believe he has totally lost it. He frightens the girls and I more and more each day.<P>The stalking has become a real issue with me now......seems people are starting to catch him around the corner and see him in the neighborhood at strange times.<P>Nancy

{{{Nancy}}}}<P>You poor thing! I must admit, by the sounds of it, it would be a funny thing to see! You should get this on video, maybe it will help you in a custody issue one day! You never know. He does sound awful crazy to me. My H changed his name and haircut, and cologne and has an attitude I can't stand, but I never saw him do something like that!<P>ABout the utilities, how did it get in your maiden name? Did he call and switch it? That is illegal. Tell me more on this?? Are you using your maiden? If you want to keep your married name, even after divorce I dont' think anyone can force you otherwise!!!!!! And if it pisses him off, then keep it.<P>Sorry I am already upset about your situation. If he is ordered by the court to pay, you call the lawyer asap and since you have to , go ahead and take the last 3 months phone bills and add that in. Get the money, and if you don't need it, do something nice for yourself with it, you deserve it!!!! Maybe use it to hire a PI for your custody situation too.<P>Prayers are with you, I hope you know not to ever be embarassed to tell any of us anything, we all have our own moments to around here, and this one, actually gave a good laugh and it wasn't at your expense!!! It was at your H! <P>(((HUGS))) Dana<BR>

Dana,<BR>OK...first of all the utilities were put in my married name back in October. Husband just called up the town and had them switch it. Because we live in a small town...the utilities are all put on one bill. When I called them....they refused to put them back in his name unless I had something from the court that says he is responsible. At that time I didn't have anything that stated that exact thing. I asked them why they allowed him to switch into my name.....they didn't answer.<P>Now I have something...through the courts that says he will pay them. Last time it came down to the wire. My utilities were due to be shut off and I somehow came up with the money...late charges and all. Then I had to pay Novembers. He pd Decembers, Jan, Feb and now in March he sends it back to me in the mail 3 days before due with a note handwritten by him that says....pay your own bills! This is where the maiden name comes in. The envelope was addressed that way.<P><BR>But something new.......I thought I seemed low on money....almost broke. Called the child support hotline......get this....he has not paid child support since Feb. 9th. I thought something seemed weird. He sent 2 weeks worth...so that took me to the end of Feb. So he is about 2 weeks behind now.<P>Now what<BR>Nancy

Well I guess he took the girls to an eating place that I loved to go to, but he never did. He asked all kinds of questions about me. The girls told him I was happy and that I have been laughing and having a great time at work.<P>He asked if I have cried lately....they told him no......that I have been just very happy.<P>Gosh...I just kissed them so hard when they told me this. It was the best thing they could have ever done for me without knowing it.<P>Smart little girls. Makes me proud.<BR>Nancy

One more tidbit......he told the girls that he was thinking about their mom the other night. That he saw a show on TV and it reminded him of me. Didn't say which one though.....probably America Most Wanted or Cops.LOL<P>Nancy

SH*T...my new attorney called me back today and I missed the call. Waited all day for it and had to go to the store and by the time I got back it was too late to return the call.<P>Man...nothing goes my way

Nancy,<P>I have a strange feeling that my H is going to do some of these same things to me. Thank God I found a GREAT lawyer the first time around. He is very straight forward about everything. When I tell him some of the things my H says and does, he says "the hell with him, let him answer to the Law Master!" He also asked me when the last time my H hurt me and I told him in November. He wrote it down and said that if H tries to fight me too much on paying for certain things, he's going to use the domestic violence against him. Since it happened within the last year, I can still have him arrested! <P>I hope he sounds this good in court!<P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR>good for you....I have tried very hard with the abuse stuff....for me and everyone else who has ever expierenced such a thing. They just don't seem to care in this county. The police aren't even well versed in abuse. They have no idea what it is all about.<P>I hope your H doesn't do what mine has done and is doing now. It leaves you even more pained and devastated than when you discovered the affair.<P>The affair seems like nothing anymore. Doesn't even bother me.....I haven't asked why in over 6 months.....but I ask why everyday when it comes to what he is putting me and the girls through now.<P>DO NOT let him get by with a thing...anything. If he does something wrong...go for it. I didn't, that is why he continues today. I didn't want to love bust....always wanted the door to be open for him. Makes me want to puke now. When I told the custody evaluator this...she thought I was mental.....not about leaving the door open....but the love busting thing. Couldn't understand Harleys principles and thought everyone who followed them must be a lunatic. Made me feel about an inch big.<P><BR>But good luck to you.....you are in my prayers....you will make it with or without him<P>Nancy

Nancy,<P>I think I'll survive better without him. I've had an overwhelming sense of peace since I signed the papers. I know I'm doing the right thing. I think about how my life was with him and compare it to how it is now. The only problem I have now is finances. Hopefully that will be taken care of soon. I got 3 job offers and I'm trying to decide whether to go to work now or wait until after our hearing. I'm leaning more toward waiting. <P>I hope your new attorney does wonders for your case!<P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi