I decided to post this inorder to try to find a way to tell Mike what I want, everyone feel free to join in, I know I'll forget to list somethings but maybe ya'll can take up the slack for me. Who knows Santa may find our list and give us what we want. Remember the movie Miracle on 34th St.? <P><BR>What I want from my h is <BR> To have him show me he loves me,<BR>I want touching and a lot of it.<BR>I want him to stop sleeping on the couch. (yep he did it again last night.)<BR>I want us to play like we used to.<BR>I want him to want only me.<BR>I want to be romanced, wooed, courted, what ever you want to call it, why does this end once you are married anyway ?<BR>I want honesty and fidelity.<BR>I want a mini rosebush<BR>I want a wedding band<BR>I want more hugs and kisses, not just when he wants sex.<BR>Passion<BR>conversation ( not about the blooming computer either !!!!)<BR>For him not to leave me again<BR>I want a pet name darn it, he called last ow "lady" he calls me deb, sometimes baby but I want my own special name too !!!<BR>I want him to let me give him hickeys like he let the wildebeast do, or was that just for my "benefit" at the time ?<BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Here's what I want from my wife:<P>I want to be special in her eyes.<BR>I want to be the one she admires over all others.<BR>I want to be the one she desires over all others.<BR>I want to be the one she confides in.<BR>I want to be her best friend.<BR>I want her to be honest and open.<BR>I want to be touched by her.<BR>I want her to hug me.<BR>I want long kisses.<BR>I want to feel loved by her.<BR>I want her to flirt with me.<BR>I want her to tell me how I can be a great lover for her.<BR>I want to be her one and only lover for the rest of my days.<BR>I want her to write me a love letter.<BR>I want her to stop contacting the om. <BR>I want her to say "I'm sorry for betraying you."<BR>I want her to say "I love you."<BR>I want her to say "You look handsome."<BR>I want her to call me and say "I've been thinking about you."<BR>I want her to allow me to hold her hand in public.<BR>I want her to allow me to take a shower with her again and wash her hair.<BR>I want her to plan a date - just once in a while.<BR>I want her to initiate physical intimacy - just once in a while.<BR>I want her to miss me when I'm away.<BR>I want her to want me.<P>I better stop. I'm getting a little down reading what I have written.<P>SHA

Awww, SHA,<BR> I'm sorry I made you sad , didn't mean to. i just thought if I posted this Mike would see it and maybe understand. He won't post to ask what he should do to help me, to help us, our marriage. He says all he wants is for me to be happy, but how do I do that now, my trust has been distroyed more than once by him, SHA, I gotta tell you, I envey your wife, to have a h who wants all that is not usual. Lets pray for each other today, ok?<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Deb<BR>I started this reply once and my H walked in with my golden retriever who had been playing with a skunk. Now I'll try again.<P><BR>I would like:<P>HONESTY<BR>Respect<BR>Consideration<BR>Undivided attention 15 minutes a day<BR>Compliments instead of criticism<BR>Protection<BR>Caring like the bimbo got<BR>Interest in what I like (and what the kids like)<P>And Deb - I would like a name for my OW like your Wildebeast name. Since she has been a thorn in my side for so many YEARS, I think Bimbo is a little too mild. My H knows so many bimbos.<BR> Think about this for me would you. If you need a description I'll be happy to give it to you. But I think I've given you the basics.<P>Chris has wankboy. Someone else has skank. I need something special.<P><p>[This message has been edited by wasstubborn (edited September 07, 1999).]

Gee, Deb! I've been thinking about this very thing all day!!<P>My H is working overtime to show me he loves me, but it's gonna take a while for me to really believe it.<P>So, here's what I was thinking about today:<P>I want to be sure that he's told me the entire truth about everything. I hope that I can get it across to him at counseling (I think it will be better to wait until then) that this is the only way we can rebuild our marriage. I have decided that if I find out he's still lying to me or if he cheats again, that will be IT! I will not go through this hell more than once.<P>I want him to court me--woo me back--take me on real dates.<P>I want him to propose marriage to me again. I'm talking about a romantic, down-on-his knee proposal. What I got before was him saying as we were on the way home, "Let's get married this spring."<P>I want a 1-1/2 carat diamond solitaire engagement ring. We were too broke for anything but inexpensive matching bands when we got married, and he finally sprung for a $100 CZ about 20 years ago. I want REAL this time. That sounds terribly mercenary, doesn't it? But, my H has never had any problem with spending $5000 for a 4-wheeler for himself, but really nice jewelry for me has always been too expensive.<P>I want a romantic and very public wedding/reception at the "in" place for such affairs, with our children and grandchildren as attendants. Then, I want us to go on a romantic cruise.<P>I was wanting us to renew our vows on our 30th anniversary, but I've decided that I want a new anniversary, too. As far as I'm concerned, our marriage ended the minute he became "one" with another woman. We've just been shacking up since then. So, I don't want to celebrate the old anniversary anymore. I want a NEW one!<P>But, FIRST, I want him to WANT to do all these romantic things. I do not want him to agree to any of this just to pacify me. Just gotta figure out what it's going to take.<P>And, oh yeah, I was also thinking that I no longer want him to call me "Baby." "Baby" is a word that comes very easily to him, so I'm quite sure he must have called the Slut-from-and-in-Hell that. (Yeah, I know we're not supposed to speak ill of the dead.) I can just hear him saying, "Oooh, Baby!" (GAG, PUKE!!!) So, I'm going to ask him to come up with a new affectionate name for me that has never been used with anyone else.<P>And, I just found out that my best friend's sister used to hang out with the Slut-from-and-in-Hell. Best friend is checking to see if the one-night stand really lasted only one night.

Now you see Deb<BR>Sweetpea has a name for hers!!!<BR>Sweetpea help me too.<P>That is one thing I forgot.<BR>i want to be courted too.

WS,<BR> I didn't give the wildebeast that name, some of my friends did, guy friends. <BR>here are a few suggestions though, but don't tell anybody I have this type of mind ok ?<BR>braindead bimbo,<BR>slimer,<BR>Ms. Hottentott,<BR>triple H, (helpless, hopeless, harmful)<BR>phb, (poor helpless bimbo)<BR>skeezer<BR>ditzy broad<BR>I'm working on, I'm working on it.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

WS,<BR> What about calling OW the "Greased Monkey"? Get it? <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Sweetpea (edited September 07, 1999).]

I want my H to admit that his relationship with the Twinky is wrong. I want him to get help for his chemical imbalance. I want him to be the man I fell head over heals in love with again.... not this stranger who says horrible things to me. I want him to want to be married to me again. I want him to tell me he needs me like he needs air again... I want him to love me again.<P><BR>Wassi,<BR>I call her a twinky because she is sticky sweet, but lacks any real substance... lots of fluffy white goop for brains.<BR>Skank, scum queen.... I'll keep working on it. <P>B<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

WS--<P>Was reading your post...you mentioned OW is a thorn in your side. What about Craw-Creature?<P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<BR>

DEB,<BR>I want to marry Sir....just kidding ....but that is just so sweet and what I want too.<BR>Also I want to feel like I used to like we were the best couple inlove... I want to play like we used to and did labor day...I want to talk and listen..learn new things about him and I have....I read the book SURVIVING AN AFFAIR...most I thought was just crap....laughing...but the questions in the back were pretty good ....we started talking and reading the questions ....I actually learned more about him and he did me..we walked and played on the trampoline, acted like two kids....we used to do that sort of thing all the time...food and water fights...but we just started up again last weekend ....it is like I was dead for so long since he told me anyways seems like it has been forever...yes I still get mad and hurt feelings but I actually looked into his eyes this weekend and felt the love I have for him it was great.....he has started making a point of looking into my eyes when he talks .....such a little thing but means so much...<P>------------------<BR>INLOVE.....<BR>LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS HOPING WE ALL HAVE ONE...<P>

I want:<P>1. to hear her say I love you when I wake up, go to bed, in the middle of the day.<BR>2. to know that I am the second most important person in her life, the first being God.<BR>3. to be her best friend, the one she confides in.<BR>4. to have her love me unconditionally without actually expecting anything in return.<BR>5. to have her love God as much as I do, that's why I haven't gone any where.<BR>6. to have have her understand that we need to set the example for our boys, what we are doing now is telling them that it is okay to do mean things and disrespect the one we vowed to before God and man to love, honor, and cherish until death we do part, forsaking all others, etc.<BR>7. to wrestle with each other and as a family.<BR>8. to play games (according to the rules of the game) as a family.<BR>9. to want to do things as a couple, date, go to the movies, go on a cruise, romantic dinners.<BR>10. to be touched with the love she shows that she desires and wants.<BR>11. to be coached in the areas where I need imporvement because I don't know everything.<BR>12. to allow me to coach in the areas where she needs improvement, she's not perfect but she is God's gift to me.<BR>13. to know that she sees me as God's gift to her.<BR>14. to be admired because I am the man who loves her as Christ loved the church.<BR>15. to be seen as her equal, she has put me on a pedestal which has put me out of her reach.<BR>16. to allow me to be the me that she married, as I have allowed her to be the her that I married.<BR>17. to be the team player that she has told me that I am not.<BR>18. to work out what we want to do and how we are going to get there together.<BR>19. to go for walks by the lake, beach, in the park on a moon lit night.<BR>20. to be thought of all day long.<BR>21. to know that she knows that she is the most iportant human being in my life.<BR>22. to know that I would die for her as Christ died for us that we might have eternal life.<BR>23. to believe in me as she did when I was being ousted out of the Air Force for having integrity to say what was the truth.<BR>24. to grow old with me.<BR>25. to be honest with me about everything.<BR>26. to have her want to everything about me so that we can have the utopia that she envisioned married life would be (understanding that the struggles can be as much fun as the fun times).<P>And many, many more.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by professorg (edited September 08, 1999).]

Hi Deb - Thank you for your thoughts, that means a lot to me. Many people say they envy my wife and think she is a lucky lady. I think she is pretty lucky to have me too. I'm a giver now. Much, much, much more than I have ever been in my life. I hope it is not too late for us. I keep trying. I keep giving. The wall she has built around her heart is pretty tall. I know she still has reservations about letting me back into her heart again. I cling to hope. Deb, I haven't posted much on your threads. Most of the time I am at a loss as to what to say to the ladies here. I wish I could visit the H's of the ladies here who don't see what I see; I just want to shake them and tell them to wake up. To me, you and others offer so much of yourselves to your husbands. I envy your husband, Deb. You ask for so little, and yet want to give so much. I don't think he really knows what God has given him. A loving and devoted wife is such a rare gift; more valuable than rubies, emeralds or diamonds. <P>INLOVE - What a compliment!! Thank you !<BR>You ladies continue to amaze me. I learn so much from all of you. My W will not talk to me about what she feels, so you all are my only insight into that mysterious place of a woman's mind. I'm glad your H is waking up to you. I like your thought about looking into one another's eyes. The little things do mean so much.<P>SHA

Okay, I guess I'll take a shot at this one.<P>1. I want my H to hold my hand when were out in public<BR>2. I want to be able to go for a walk once or twice a week<BR>3. I want H to help cook dinner without even asking if I want help<BR>4. I want long kisses<BR>5. I want him to tell me when he's having bad thoughts about what happened in the past<BR>6. I want a cute little nickname even if he doesn't call me that all the time<BR>7. I want lots of hugs<BR>8. I want my H to shave my legs every once in awhile. (it sounds funny but he's so good at it)<BR>9. I want cards every once in awhile that says he love me<BR>10. Honesty and openness (something I'm working on as well for him)<BR>11. I want to take more showers with him<BR>12. I want him to tuck me into bed and give me lots of kisses<P>

I want to see her.<BR>I want to hug her.<BR>I want her to say ANYTHING except, "I know" when I tell her I Love Her.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>

All I can say is:<P>I just want to talk talk talk... till we are all talked out, which should be never!! (he held in way too many times, and way to much, for way too long... until it now became too late)<P>I want what I feel I gave back at all times, which (WAS) Totally 100% honesty, always, no matter what the subject...<P>I want a real, true, open minded, loving, caring, honest, and above all, a loyal best freind....<P>I want more affection/attention, touching, hugging, kissing, and lots of it... (I am a true romantic!) and I want it every day...!!! I love the passion that when from across a room, just looking at him, and then we smiled at each other, we (once) knew just what the other was feeling/thinking... not a word had to be spoken...<P>I want total compassion, and if something is not agreeable, then at least 50/50 compromise.<P>I want listening, and hearing and understanding of/with each other..<P>I want to always be there for him and I expect vise versa!<P>I want him, back!!! <BR>I want my life/world back!!!<BR>I want to be happy again!!<BR>I want to sleep/eat/breath again!!<P>I want us *both* to be willing (I am/have always been) to live learn and grow together, as one, and be a family, again!!<P>I want my daughter to have her (adored) father back here with us, full time, and share in all her/our experiences that are about to happen, now, and into the future..!!<P>I want to grow old, with the man I love, and chose, and live to see our grand children.. together..<P>I want this night mare to end....!<P>AV<P>

What I want is to be able to believe my husband when he tells me that he will never cheat on me again. I've heard it before, and I believed it. I jsut can't bring myself to trust again. I have most of the other things people have listed here. We talk, take walks, date. He brings me flowers, and sends me cards. He helps me cook dinner and cleans up if I cook dinner alone. He rubs my back. He kisses me good-bye every morning, even when he thinks I'm asleep. Right now I have everything I could want from him except the trust that he will never hurt me like that again. It's happened too many times to truly believe him.

1) I want my husband to be my best friend<BR>2) I want to be romanced<BR>3) I want him to be trustworthy again<BR>4) I want to be able to snuggle up in his arms like I used to<BR>5) I want to be the only woman in his life<BR>6) I want him to laugh with me like we used to<BR>7) I want him to send me flowers just for the heck of it<BR>8) I want him to call me at work just to talk and not to discuss our problems<BR>9) I want him to acknowledge all the little things I do for him<BR>10) I want him to say, I love you, before I do<P>

Honesty<P>Integrity<P>Morality<P>Love and Compassion<P>Consideration of Others<P>His old "uniqueness" instead of this cop "clone" personality<P>The softer look his face used to have<P>And the sparkle that used to be in his beautiful hazel eyes!!!<P>Hugs, <P>Sheba<P>PS - Almost forgot these :<P>MONEY!!!!!!!<P>A NEW CAR!!!!!<P>MY !0 year ANNIVERSARY TRIP TO DISNEYWORLD!!!!!!!!<P>My Heart<P>My Soul.........

Psst. hey Inlove- I'll fight you for SHA, best two out of 3 fall wins ok ( sorry I couldn't resist)<P> You know it's really amazing to me, reading over these responces, so many of us, men and women alike, seem to want the same things which all boils down to<BR>LOVE<BR>affection<BR>attention<BR>truth<BR>fidelity <BR>and most of us want to give it as well as recieve.<BR>I have joked around a lot on here about us all being married to the same person, even the men, but now I have to wonder if we aren't all the same person too ? Or at least the same personality types. Or is it that the pain we have all experianced make us all<BR>more in tune ? Hmmm, deep thoughts, difficult for such a shallow mind. (mine that is lol)<BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>