The question has been brought up on several occasions...I would like to throw my two-cents in.<P>We come here...because we read quite a bit of "reality" that exist in the crushed and destroyed lives of the "betrayed". We found ourselves on the proverbial "slippery slope" and coming here in some ways is like digging your pick-ax into the ice to somehow slow you down if not stop you. <P>Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn't. <P>I can tell you it is not sympathy or justification we are looking for. It is truth.<BR>"Truth" is really the only liberator or key to freedom. I beleive the "dark forces" of evil are experts in hiding the reality or "truth" of the pain and devestation our actions cause. Many of these post are a last resort to keep us from adding to the pot of broken homes and lives.<P>If we wanted harsh words or scorn...we only have our hurt spouses to turn to. Many of you who have been hurt and betrayed can help others make the right choices by speaking the "truth in love". In turn, in could aid in your own healing.<P>Blessings...<P>

well said

No Mas....AMEN!

NoMas,<P>You speak for yourself and probably many others, but some betrayers wish for validation is quite transparent. <P>Usually it is their first post and involves the usual self-justifying cliches "spouse is so horrible, OP is so wonderful, never felt like this, spouse and kids would be better off, everyone deserves to be happy, yada, yada, yada"<P>Unfortunately, in our effort to "speak the truth in love" we appear to be piling on the poor newbies and overwhelming them. They come to us with some feelings of guilt already, and we circle around them and hold up mirrors, hoping to help them see themselves more clearly, but instead we end up blinding them with the light of truth, scaring them away clutching at their eyes.<P>We, who have been dealing with our situations for some time, have developed a mature understanding and are so eager to share it and hopefully prevent some of the pain we feel or have caused. None of us arrived at this understanding so suddenly. It is probably overwhelming. <P>Although I do try to be supportive of the betrayers who are trying to do the right thing, I am going to try to be more careful. The truth needs to be conveyed, but maybe a little more slowly and gently.