Things are getting a little tense in here <BR>Time to bring back the positive and stress what things are making you want your marriage back. <P>(in with the good out with the bad work with me here people) <P>So here is the question:<P>What is the MOST romantic thing your spouse has done for you? <P>It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate, just thoughtful and kind.<P>(And *please* in keeping with a positive note, don't add the one liners of "before the affair". Just your most loving memory)<P>My most romantic memories of Allen:<P>Holding my hair back, rubbing my back and holding my hand every time I have ever gotten sick. If that is not true love what is? <P>When I was pregnant with our son, I had to fly to Dallas to present at a conference. In my carry on bag Allen had placed a copy of the book "the Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks.<P>(IF you have NOT read this book GET it!)<P>On a more ~expensive~ note, the Mothers Day after we had our son he gave me diamond earrings, breakfast in bed and a card.<P>Things I consider romantic that others may not: <BR>-bringing me my favorite candy, <P>-cooking dinner *and* cleaning up, <P>-reading to the kids at night, <P>-getting up to close the car windows when it starts raining, <P>-teaching our daughters how to play sports,<P> going to the store in the middle of the night to get cold medicine, oj or whatever is needed, <P>-playing trucks in the dirt with our son<P>-letting me put my freezing cold feet on his legs to warm them up<P>And most of all in the midst of all the crap I have been putting him through he has shown the strength and courage to stay with me, to listen and to grow.<P>That is truely amazing. <P>Now if *I* can make a list like that in while in deep withdrawal, I want to hear Your positive things! <P>Please please answer and lets remember why it is called a marriage builders site.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Cat<P>catfrommb@yahoo.com

Cat,<BR>I've never posted in this section, but your title made me curious what others might say. <P>First, I'll say my H nor I have ever had an affair, but he has still done romantic things, i.e.<BR>~On valentine's day long time ago he showed up w/ 2 doz. red balloons, drove them from work (50 miles away) and tried to sneak them in the elevator of our condo, He almost didn't fit in the elevator, (I thought that was so sweet ~ :-) ;p ~ I still keep the balloons after 11 years ~<BR>~Gave me a pedicure (had no clue what he was doing, but tried)<BR>~Had a friends band play our wedding song especially for me (they didn't know how to play the song prior to it, so they had to practice it). Wasn't their style of music. - (Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton)<P>These and many more things remind me of how much he loves me.<P>~The cold feet against his is definately on the list.<P>Hope you get lots of responses and give some people ideas on how to restore their marriage. Good for you! :P<p>[This message has been edited by Pookie14 (edited March 21, 2000).]

Let's see....hmmmm. When I returned home from being out of town, H left loving cards in the mailbox for me since it would be the first place I would go to when I arrived and when I opened the door up to our home, he had balloons all over the place for me! I thought that was sweet!

ok, you're right time for some good news.<P>1. He once wept over the beauty of the <BR>soles of my feet (no he doesn't have a foot fetish)<P>2. Walked miles to get me a milk shake after the birth of our first son - I'd wanted one desperately during labor.<P>3. Hid multiple boxes earrings where I would find them during my daily activities when I asked for them for my birthday.<P>4. Knelt next to my stretcher and held my hand during the pre-op period before my<BR>surgery/<P>5. Maybe not "romantic" but very supportive, when I was making more money than him in a job I hated and was reduced to tears at the thought of going to work the next day, he said "Just don't go, quit, we'll manage". It felt wonderful to feel I had the option.<P>Looking forward to reading more replies.

Wow, I did/do all that???? Thanks for remembering, Cat.<P>I would have to say the most romantic thing(s) Cat does for me is her cards. Not only does she put so much time in picking out just the right sayings on the cards themselves, then she pours herself into the card and writes the most incredible messages to me.<P>All the other romantic stuff involves stuff I can't print on a G-rated board. <P>

Romantic things Arik has done for me:<P>1.On Valentines day he woke me up at 4:30 in the morning to share the Northern Lights. <BR>2.He had a custom cabinet built for my figurines for Christmas 2 years ago.<BR>3.He wrote me poetry.<BR>4.(He didn't have a lot to do with this but...) The moment of our first kiss there was a shooting star and I had never seen one before that.<BR>5.He gives me foot rubs even though he hates to do it.<BR>6.He asked me today if I wanted to go shopping for new rings. He wants them to be a symbol of our new life together.<P>There are so many little things he does and is starting to do more often that for the most part it would sound silly. Things like...calling me in the middle of the day just to say "Hi". Sending me an email from work. Saying "I love you." before I say it first. Reaching out to hold my hand. Giving me a hug while I am standing at the sink doing the dishes. These are all simple things but they do mean so much. I am so glad to be sharing them with him.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

Ok, the sweetest, most loving thing my H ever did for me:<P>After I gave birth to our third son, I was taken to my room and there were flowers waiting for me. He wrote the card and it read:<P>Thanks Mom, I love you, Noah David (our son). Yep, it made me cry. And still does.

Well, I am not sure whether anyone else will feel this is romantic or not but I did.<P>About 1.5 yrs. ago. I was pretty stressed and I wanted to go camping sooooo bad. We went to the campground but all the sites were taken. We didn't have our pop-up camper or anything. I didn't care, all I wanted to do is get away and sit by a campfire all night.<P>We tried several other campgrounds but they were all full. I was soooooooo disappointed! I started to cry. I know it sounds silly but my heart was broken.<P>Anyway... here is the romantic part. We came home and he worked like crazy. He cut the fence and moved the pop-up camper into the back yard, set it up, made a campfire in our charcoal grill and set us up with a wonderful little campsite in our won backyard. He said that if his baby wanted to go camping... his baby was going to go camping even if it was in our own back yard.<P>I thought that was the sweetest thing he had ever done for me. But.... our son got into some medicine and we spent the night in the ER. Isn't that always the way it turns out.<P>But its the thought that counts, and that was a wonderful and loving thought.<p>[This message has been edited by Genie29 (edited March 21, 2000).]

Hey, I have just one question. How do you ladies get your Hs to let you put your feet against them? My H won't let me warm my feet up against his body and I would really love to be able to do that. I think I feel closer to him if I can put my feet against him.

Okay I will give this a go<P>My Husband kidnapped me on the way home from work, took me out to dinner (very romantic candle light and all including the serenade) then he had checked us into a hotel for the night (he had even thought ahead to pack me an overnight bag complete with toothbrush)single red rose on the bed !! This was such a suprise I cried soooooo much - you see he has not got a romantic bone in his body so I was in shock, and now when I think back to that I am still inshock !! <P>He bought me a dozen long stemmed red roses about a year ago because he had had a car accident (company's car) and I had supported him at work even though the chances that I would get fired were great- we work together and they don't like us interfering in each others business. (I suppose thats more a thank you. Though coming from him it meant more than you could ever know you see he does not say sorry or thank you he shows it many other little ways and this must have cost him a fortune!!) <P>He lets me warm my feet against him every night even in winter when my feet are like blocks of ice. <P>He sometimes washes me in the bath from head to toe <P>He tells me he loves me every day and that I am the best thing that ever happend to him and that he is gratefull that I have always been there for him even when things got very rough !!<P>He has lately taken a liking to putting notes in my lunch box (a really hard thing for him to do at the moment since he has had surgery on this right hand and can't use it -so he has to write with his left hand which can't be very easy right !!??) <P>There are so many but I think that gives you a fair idea.<P>Jenny<BR>South Africa<P><BR>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<BR>Paula Cole<p>[This message has been edited by jendan69 (edited March 22, 2000).]

Many of the romantic things my husband does have already been mentioned, but there is one other that is very special to me. This happened nearly two years ago.<P>I had mentioned how much I enjoyed just sitting on the deck and looking up at the stars, except for the bugs, cold, clouds,etc.<P>My husband bought hundreds of glow-in-the-dark stars and put them on the ceiling of our bedroom. What really made this special is that the stars were invisible except in the dark so I had no idea he had done it until we went to bed and turned off the light.<P>Those stars gave me so much pleasure and happiness. But after D-day, I cried every time I saw them, so we removed them.<P>But now that we are well into recovery, my husband replaced them with new ones that are, as he says, "even bigger and brighter, just like our new marriage".<P>A simple thing, but a nightly reminder of how special true love can be.<P>Peppermint

It was just last week...we were having one of those "If I won the lottery" discussions.<P>And H said, "If I won the lottery, I'd call your boss and tell him I'm buying out the next six months of your salary and that you won't be in. Then I'd send a limo up to pick you up and fly you to Jamaica for a month. And I wouldn't tell you in advance."<P>Wow. I didn't think he had it in him.

ok I dont post a whole lot any more but I had to on this one...he stoped on his way home from work (1:30 am) and picked me alskain wild flowers and placed them on my pillow.<P>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

He cooked a wonderful dinner (a surprise). Broiled salmon, sauteed vegetables, a fine wine (a Croatian vintage, which was very sweet since I am of Croatian descent and he knows how important my heritage is to me). The whole room was lit only by candles and made hazy with my favorite incense. He decorated the room with my favorite flowers. He had my favorite music playing softly in the background. Dinner was perfect.<P>Afterwards, a hot bath with my favorite bath bombs - he washed me tenderly. Then he dried me off and gave me a whole-body massage lasting an entire hour. Afterwards, we spent the night tenderly and slowly making love. He even read me a bedtime story (how sweet!)...<P>The next day I found out it was even better than I'd thought the day before - in addition to all that, he'd done all the laundry and cleaning as well as the dishes from the previous night.<P> <P>------------------<BR>~~ Elixir ~~<P>

She was planning a really romantic celebration for our anniversary. She had set up getting a room and a baby sitter and all.<P>However, I ruined it with a little help. She had spent to much money the previous month and I had to use the money for the romantic encounter to pay bills. It was unavoidable. I kow this is one of the many things that she has not forgiven me for. <P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

This is making me a little weepy, but I decided to post anyway. <P>Some of the most romantic things my X ever did....<P>Made a picnic dinner complete with candles and wine, and drove me up to the very top of the "hill" overlooking town. There were no houses or lights up there, and the view was fantastic.... from the sunset to the stars.<P>When he proposed to me, he asked me to keep it a secret for 2 weeks, but wouldn't tell me why. We went to a trade show out of state toward the end of the 2 weeks, and he drove 300 miles (each way) out of the way to my parent's home on the way back..... so he could ask their permission to marry me. (he changed course after I'd fallen asleep on the drive home.)<P>He called in sick to work so he could stay home with me the day we had to put one of our babies down (she got poisoned, and we had spent all night/morning at the Emergency Vets). He didn't have to be to work until late afternoon, but he stayed with me. He bought me flowers and made a cross with a little dog on it, and buried her coller and toys in the back yard.<P>He would sweep the snow off my car, and/or scrape the windows and start it for me on cold mornings.<P>Once he wasn't home when I got home from work (on his day off) and I tried to call him.... he didn't answer the cell phene, but called me right back and asked me for a date. He had layed out my favorite dress and all the "things" I would need (shoes, undies etc...) and a new pair of earings. Then we went to a resturant we hadn't tried yet (very fancy one) and had a wonderful dinner.<P>Ok, I'm not feeling so weepy anymore.... thanks for making me think about the good times!!!<P>Thougts & Prayers,<BR>Butterfly<P><P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>