I don't know what to do anymore. On the 25th this month it will have been a month since I found out about the affair, but a month prior I have been dealing with the suspicion. The pain that goes with that is awful enough. Three weeks ago he moved out of the house and I have since then been trying to have him come home to work things out. We meet with our priest a few days after finding out, but out priest was going away for a month and we wont be able to see him again until the 5th of April. I have since seen a counselor once and am due to go again tomorrow. My husband has been staying with his parents and with a friend of his who I don't know well and don't even know where he lives. It is his paramedic partner who is a male and divorced. Im having trouble knowing what is going through my husbands head. Since him leaving we have only spent probably 13-14 hours together and it was like we were on pins and needles. At one point I gave up on asking about her and we got along great, but I must know where she is in his life. I have told him to get rid of her but he says it is harder than I can imagine. He says he feels guilty for breaking up her marriage and family. She has two kids. We don't have kids, but Idon't think he realizes how he is breaking us up too. I don't know what to do. Is this a normal feeling for him to have for her? I'm trying to understand, but we get nowhere when we talk about her. He has admited to loving her in a way not like he loves me, but supposedly the feelings are gone. He did admit to caring about her. Well what about me? We are currently building a house and he feels once the house is done we can have a fresh start. It's like he thinks the problem is just going to go away. Can anyone help me with some advice. I am losing it tonight not knowing where the hell he is and if he loves me like he says he does. Thanks so much for reading this.

I've read some of your other posts...<P>Definitely get on board to do more "pure" <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<P>This can be done long distance (i.e. when the WS has moved out...) check out SDS's recent post... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/001787.html" TARGET=_blank>Who wants to say I told you so??!!??</A>.<P>Do you have the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A> yet?... It will help tremendously!<P>From the book...<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Plan A: Avoid <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3401_angry.html" TARGET=_blank>angry outbursts</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3402_disrespect.html" TARGET=_blank>disrespectful judgments</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3404_selfish.html" TARGET=_blank>selfish demands</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3403_annoy.html" TARGET=_blank>annoying behavior</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3405_dishonesty.html" TARGET=_blank>dishonesty</A> (i.e. <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>!) at all costs. (page 75 of SAA)...<B>and</B> at the same time, if your spouse would let the you, you should try to meet your spouse's most important <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>. (page 77 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3305_aff.html" TARGET=_blank>Affection</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3310_sex.html" TARGET=_blank>Sexual Fulfillment</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3315_conv.html" TARGET=_blank>Conversation</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3320_rec.html" TARGET=_blank>Recreational Companionship</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3325_hon.html" TARGET=_blank>Honesty and Openness</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3330_att.html" TARGET=_blank>An Attractive Spouse</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3335_fin.html" TARGET=_blank>Financial Support</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3340_dom.html" TARGET=_blank>Domestic Support</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3345_fam.html" TARGET=_blank>Family Commitment</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_ad.html" TARGET=_blank>Admiration</A></UL><P>For additional insight check out my post...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Archives/Archive-000001/HTML/20000110-1-011323.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101</A>.<P>Check out those links that are most relevant!<P>If you haven't seen it yet... I do have a welcome post ===> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A>!<P> <P>Jim