Last night I had to drive an old car over to my H's house (he's living with his mom and dad). He is getting it ready to sell, so he had to drive me and the kids back home. About a 20 minute drive. It was surreal! It was like old times. The kids acting up in the backseat. They were kidding around and we were all talking about funny things that had happened. It was really comfortable. H kept glancing over at me, especially when I was laughing at something the kids were saying. He was laughing and goofing off too. Then he said, " Hon, your window is sqeaking, check to see if it's rolled all the way up." He called me "Hon". Just like he used to. It was sooooo weird. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. Has anybody else had a similar experience? I don't know what to make of it. I have resigned myself to a divorce and to be quite honest, I don't want to get my hopes up anymore. But it was so natural and enjoyable. He had to sense it too. Any feedback would be helpful.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Hey, My H is doing the same thing. We are heading to a D.<P>But, this is how he is acting. He came home and took care of the kids for me when I have a overnight. When I got back he acted like we were the perfect married couple. <P>He had to leave for a out of town for work, came back a few days later for daughter's concert and he spends the night and kisses me goodbye. Go figure.<P>I am with you. It is like we are still connected at the hip or something. I am still trying to plan A, but moving forward in my life and making plans.<P>He is coming home for a BBQ with me and kids this weekend for our oldest birthday. He says he still wants to date me and do things as a family.<P>He is CONFUSED. That is all I can think of. My SIL said it is too weird talking about D and dateing the same man at the same time.<P>I just keep praying that he will wake up before the D,or soon after. Regardless, I am with you, I am not getting my hopes up. I am being his friend, ect. But I am making plans for my future without him.<P>we are in twilight zone, body snachers, UFO's abduction, evil twin, ect ect<P>Hang in there!

Hey, long time no type <P>As you know H and I are headed toward divorce too, but he and I have actually been getting along so well. One night when he was over, he was standing in the kitchen and I handed him his dinner plate. Our daughter was in the kitchen as well speaking her gibberish as normal and out of the blue my H goes..."Damn this feels like dejavue (sp?)" I asked him what he meant. He replied it felt like the three of us had done this before. I just smiled and he asked me "what" and I just said "nothing". He immediately started tickling me and asking me what was I thinking. God it felt so good, ya know. But for me I keep low expectations and try not get my hopes up either. But I guess I don't have to tell you that. You know I've been going out and doing things for me lately and if feels good and I think he notices it too!<P>Prayers for you as always!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Ker,<P>ABout 3 weeks after H left (1-18-00) we went out to dinner for our youngest one 's Bday. Same thing, kids in back, he kept looking at me, held my hand, etc, etc. A week later, he wanted to come home. Unfortunately stupid OW sunk her claws in and turned the tears on and he stayed. He never once looked back since then. I remember that night more clearly after reading your post and it brought tears to my eyes. <P>I know in my life, those days are over. It breaks my heart, but I have no control over anything in life these days so I just chose to accept it best I can.<P>Prayers are with you. Try not to let this weigh on your mind too heavily, it may bring you a let down. Keep positive and be strong, but keep it all in perspective. He definetly has doubts, keep plan A'ing and be strong. Dana<BR>

Thanks you guys...<P>I needed someone to bring me back to earth. I feel like my one real advantage is that his OW lives 800 miles away. Of course, that way he only sees her "good" side. No PMS, or *****y moods, or just plain everyday crap. I am definitely NOT getting my hopes up. I just hope it made him see, if only for a moment, what he's giving up. We were not unhappy before, in fact, we had a very nice family life. We spent a lot of time with the kids, going on picnics, camping. I think if we hadn't been apart for 4 months, something like this would never have happened. He says all the typical betrayer stuff...He never loved me, he's not "in love" with me, blah, blah, blah. Anyway. Thanks for the advice. I obviously need it. I think he went to see the OW at the airport as she passed through town tonight, so we are definitely NOT out of the woods. I've been listening to Dr. Harley's program everyday and he says at this point I should focus on me. Affairs tend to die a natural death and most H's want to come back. That's when I'll have to summon my fortitude to make it work. By then, I probably will no longer be in love with him. But he's so proud he'd probably never ask to come home and try again. Too much conjecture. Moving along....<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

It is so strange to read these posts and think that this is our reality. If I wasnt' going through this with all of you I would think I was insane.<P>Are we really sure our S's have not been abducted or switched somehow. My H meditates. I think his soul was switched on some other plane of existance!!!!<P>I saw H this afternoon and he made wistful comment to me about remembering what it was like so many years ago!!!!! He was looking at me and smiling. Now it was just 5 months ago that we were making BIG plans and holding hands and being affectionate and intimate (none of which he remembers) <P>He somehow only remembers things that are not even true about us. Like we screamed at each other in front of the kids. WE NEVER did that. We never fought in front of the kids. <P>What is it that happens to these spouses anyway??<P><BR>I am worried about the OP in my case. She can really get her claws into my H because he depends so much on her at work.. I really have my work cut out in the plan A departement.<P>Although tonight seemed like a small glimmer of light. OR a bit of fog lifting. <P>I just think it is so bizzaar that the memories are so distant, when they were just 5 months ago!!!!!!!<P>ONe good thing so far. We have not discussed a D. Not even a written separatin. I keep wondering why!!!!