My H became a "taker" suddenly at the end of November. He became the polar opposite of himself.<P>We have been married 13 years, 2 children.<P>There is an Op at work that he seems to have a cosmic bond with. Of course he didn't leave me for her. It was all about me.....suddenly without any warning. (moved out 6 weeks ago. Had that possessed look.<P>Recently he has been feeling some of the kids distress. He has made efforts to come over more and be with them in a more affectionate way.<P>He has said all the things I see here that the betrayers say.....I've never loved you. I was acting......I can't remember any details of our marraige. He can't even remember the affection which just stopped when he moved out!!!!!<P>The last time he was here he looked at me very long and said he was remembering the good times of "long ago". He hugged me for a long time and asked me questions about our past. Does he truly NOT remember?????<P><BR>He apologized for not being here for me and the kids. He seems to be slowing down and not so manic. He admits something is going on in him that he doesn't quite understand.<P>I do not question him about OP (she is married and I hear a lot from OP's H. ) The relationship I think is EA, very dependent on work. I am trying to figure out the EN's that I have missed and trying to capitolize on them while he is here. But I can't really get to them. I think he needs to feel appreciated and needed. <P><BR>These are the first times he has talked to me so calmly about the memory thing without simply being angry about things that I didn't even do.<P><BR>Could the fantasy be starting to fade alittle??? In the beginning of the end of the affair do they go in and out of feelings. I get the feeling when he hugs me that he does actually feel things.<P>It is sooooooooooooo discouraging that he has no memory of our relationship or his close relationship with the kids. I'm trying not to push but will give lots of attention to him and what he says while he is here. When he hugged me he asked if it was bothering me to have him hug me.<P>Do you suppose he is trying to tell me that he didn't get the feeling that I loved him???? or wanted him?????? and she does?????????? <P>I know this is all cryptic, but it is soooooo unreal for me. I feel like I am walking on egg shells........

tootrusting,<P>These sound good to me if you are in a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<P>It sounds like it(<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>) is working...<BR>Keep it up...<P>This post seems to contradict you previous <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/001848.html" TARGET=_blank>I can't take it anymore.</A> post...<BR>...It must be confusing for you...<BR>but stick to <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>!<P> <P>Jim