I found an interesting article on Christian Counseling.<BR>{The article explains the author's viewpoint of hisvocation}<P>By Jim Otremba (The Catholic Yearbook *copyrighted 1999*)<P>When people ask me the question "what do you do?" I immediately partake in a ritual that has been both educational and, at times, entertaining.<P>First, I tell them that I am a Christian counselor. Then I watch for their response. Some think this work is wondeful and needed in our broken world, while others raise their eyebrows in suspicion about combining the two; probably because there is substantial confusion about the term "Christian counseling."<P>Simply defined, Christian counseling offers appropriate psychotheraputic interventions to those who understand the world through their identity as Christians. Their Christian identities are rich with Scriptures and tradition, a means to understand the world and day-to-day life. A Christian counselor helps them enrich this identity by guiding them through difficult issues with apprpriate psychological tools.<P>A Christian counselor must be grounded in at least three areas: sound psychology and counseling skills, Christian principles that agree with the Word of God, and submission to the Holy Spirit.<P>The Lord has given us the great gift of intellect. This intellect has uncovered many psychological and counseling skills which have proven effective in helping people live fruitful lives. To become an effective agent of healing in people's lives a Christian counselor must be rooted in this type of knowledge.<P>As Christians we need to allow the Word of God to speak to us daily. His word guides and instructs us. As a Christian counselor, it is essential that I invite the Word of God into my heart in order to be transformed. This transformation will lead to a sincere submission so that the Holy Spirit can work through me and heal my clients.<P>A Christian counselor must never forget that the Holy Spirit is the primary Counselor! It is the Holy Spirit that enlightens me to learn and integrate appropriate counseling skills that will be helpful for my clients. Submission to the Holy Spirit is essential.<P>Christian counselors believe in the transforming power of God working through them and have witnessed this healing. Next time somebody inquires about my vocation, I may see fewer raised eyebrows. May God richly bless your loved ones.

Dear Jim,<P>While I'm not a Catholic, I completely agreed with the article you posted. Since virtually everyone involved in any aspect of the affair triangle should seek counseling, the selection of the right counselor is vital.<P>I have read statistics that most people do not stay with the initial counselor they selected. Since starting over with a new counselor is time consuming, emotionally draining and financially wasteful, it is very important to select the right counselor the first time.<P>How does one do that? Obviously, price and geographical proximity are factors. But to me, the best way to know God's will is to trust that He will give you peace as a confirmation.<P>Consider your first session with a counselor as an opportunity to see first-hand what their counseling style is like. Does the counselor seem to quickly grasp your situation? Is he or she able to discern things you haven't yet told them? Most importantly, both during and after the session, ask (inside) the question, "Is this the counselor You want to counsel me?" Let His peace be your guide.<P>Of course, this approach only works if you have a relationship with God and are able to sense and be led by His Spirit. If that's not the case, well, first things first...<P>IMO, a Christian counselor, as described in Jim's article, is the person best able to help a Christian who is suffering from affair-related pain. I know of secular counselors with the most impressive of educations (PhD, etc.), whose advice is often dead wrong (again, IMO). Regardless of their intentions, a person can only help to the level of their understanding. A godless psychiatrist has tremendous psychological knowledge, but their world view is utterly wrong. That wrongness will permeate every aspect of their advice.<P>I have done Christian counseling for years. I also have some secular credentials (a four year degree in psychology). I quickly learned that my educational knowledge pales in comparison to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In talking with Christian counselors who have more advanced degrees, they concur, except where diagnosis and treatment of mental illness is involved.<P>Unfortunately, some well-meaning Christians who offer their services through the local church really don't know what they are doing. They have taken an eight week course, and now think they are ready to counsel. I have offered my services through the local church, and have often winced at the advice I sometimes heard being given.<P>Some people are called by God to counsel. Others, though just as knowledgeable and just as caring, are not. My wife would fall into this latter category. Over the years, she tried on a number of occasions to counsel people who were hurting. On most occasions, I shared with her privately that I disagreed with her advice. None of those counseling relationships bore real fruit. It wasn't that my wife didn't want to help. It's just that she is not anointed in this area.<P>So whether you are paying a professional or counseling with a church volunteer, don't be passive in the selection process! Don't rely exclusively on the recommendation of friends, either. Choosing the right counselor may be one of the largest factors in the speed and depth of your recovery. Don't just settle for the wrong person!<P>I hope this helps...<P>BrokenButNotCrushed <BR><p>[This message has been edited by BrokenButNotCrushed (edited March 26, 2000).]