I had found this several years ago so I had to look hard for it. No other post on this site got my attention as much as Dead Inside's post about suicide. This goes out to all here on the MB site. I hope it will add as much inspiration to all as it did for me.<P>Subject: People who touch your life <P><BR>Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant <BR>to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help <BR>figure out who you are or who you want to become. <P>And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful and <BR>unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those <BR>obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower <BR>or heart. <P>Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of <BR>good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer <BR>stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. <P>Without these small tests life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, <BR>flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. <P>The successes and downfalls you experience create who you are, and the bad <BR>experiences can be learned from. In fact, the lessons they teach us are <BR>probably the most poignant and important ones of all. They have helped you <BR>learn about trust and the importance of being. <P>If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because <BR>they taught you to be cautious to whom you open your heart.<P>If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they <BR>love you, but because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and <BR>eyes to little things. <P>Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything <BR>that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. <P>Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let <BR>yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high because you have <BR>every right to. <P>Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you <BR>don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. <BR> <BR>Friends are very special. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. <BR>They lend an ear and they share a word of praise. <P>If this reaches any person and lifts them up today, then it has served its purpose. God bless all who are here. Your stories, advice, and online friendship have lifted me more than you will ever know.<P>Thanks ...fs

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they taught you to be cautious to whom you open your heart.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I am sorry, but this part just doesn't cut it. I am tired of people, including myself, implying that this is my fault because I opened my heart to someone who didn't deserve it, that I should have somehow recognized that he was a jerk. I loved and trusted him for 24 years, and for almost all of those he gave me absolutely no reason to think that he would ever betray me. Many other people here apparently were in similar situations. There is no good lesson you can learn from this sort of betrayal, unless you think that learning that you can't trust anyone is a good lesson.<BR>

Hello My Love!<P>This post is so sweet, and it shows a side of you that you often try to hide- a sensitive, thoughtful side that many people don't see.<P>I know that you came into my life for a wonderful reason, and because of you I have known true love. Even the horrible thing we have faced over the past six months can't change that.<P>Yes, the betrayal was unfair and painful. But it also showed me that I can survive. And I have learned some valuable lessens- not to take our relationship or you for granted, and to get my priorities in the right order.<P>Most importantly, I have learned the value and power of forgiveness. That was a hard one for me. When I realized that anger and bitterness were destroying the person that I want to be, I also realized that I had the power to change those bad feelings by letting them go. So I chose to forgive you and give our marriage a real chance. Yes, you hurt me and broke my heart, but I choose to let it heal with your help.<P>I know that you love me and always have, you just forgot temporarily. And I realized that I truly do love you unconditionally, no matter what may happen in the future.<P>So now let's make each day count towards building a new and stronger life together. Let's learn from our mistakes and appreciate each other in new ways. Let's be best friends again. I've missed you.<P>XOXOXOX<P>peppermint

Hi Nellie1<P>I will agree with you on one point. You husband's infidility was not your fault as it was not my W's fault. Some men can be real pigs, like myself when I was not thinking straight. But when you first met, both of you did open your heart to each other, after all, you did say that you loved and trusted him for 24 years. I am sorry that you are hear and in the position that you are in. <P>There is one question that I want to ask. If he did come back and really wanted to try and work things out, could you and would you forgive him? I am still trying to repair the mess that I have made of our marriage, but, I could not even began to try without the forgivness of my W. I don't blame her one bit for my actions. However, if we are going to make it together, she will have to open herself up again. I don't believe anyone will ever find love unless they are willing to open their heart and let that special person in. There is no guarantee that your heart will not be broken again, but, I would rather have loved someone and lost than to never know what love is.<P>My sincerest wish is that everyone here could work through their problems in marriage and be happy forever. I don't entirely agree with the statement you pointed out either, but I do have the capacity to forgive, and I feel I am much better for it. Thanks for your honest response.

To peppermint:<P>My heart, my love, my time, my attention, and my life all belong to you. I have made a great error in our marriage. It is a mistake that I can never erase, but, I can repair the damage. It will take the rest of my life to do so, but, that is what I have to give to you. I cannot imagine the pain that I have caused you, that is why I come here, to hear others and try to understand. Somehow we will be made whole again, but, I know it cannot be done without both of us.<P>Thanks for your love, kindness, and most of all, your forgivness. I know that was hard.<P>fs

peppermint and firestorm,<P>That was such a sweet exchange! It filled my heart with joy to read it. God bless both of you - thanks for making my day.<P>------------------<BR>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.<BR>Galatians 5:22-23

fs and p<P>Thank-you so much for opening up your hearts to each other and to us all. Arik and I are on our way there.<BR>God bless you both!

firestorm,<P>Yes, if he came back and wanted to work things out, I would forgive him. But since he is apparently convinced that he had to leave, and his only mistakes were marrying me to begin with, and not leaving many years ago, I don't know if he will ever feel remorse. It is hard to forgive someone who is consumed with hatred toward you.

Peppermint & Firestorm,<P>You made me cry. I only wish my H would say and do what Firestorm did. It was beautiful!<BR>And Peppermint I only hope I can reach that point where you are now. Unfortunately, my resentment keeps me from being ME. My H is somewhere else these days, anywhere but IN this marriage.<P>Best of luck and prayers to you both. You both give encouragement as I wipe the tears from my face.

What an uplifting post!!(and replies) Thank you Firestorm and Peppermint.<P>Nellie, Think of this. Because of your husband you have your children. They will be who they will be because of YOU!!!! <P>I need to remember that also!!!! That's why I responded. There are many moments when I hate my H for what he has done (mostly to them. my 11 y.o. D is depressed and is in counseling and is starting to not eat and get attention for it.).<P>I try to muster the strenghth to be there for my kids because he has not had the strenghth to be there for them.