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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1 |
My husband and I have been separated now for almost 2 months since I found out about his affair. He and I decided it was best to be away from each other. He has just recently told me he has ended the affair and wants to try and work things out. I don't know what to do now. We are seeing a marriage counsellor, but can only see him about once a month. He says we shouldn't talk. Anyone out there who has gone through this, is this a good idea? My husband wants to talk to me. Should I just shut him out and say we can't. This doesn't make much sense to me. Especially since he really needs someone now that he is going through the withdrawal from his girlfriend. Please help?
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036 |
Your counselor actually said that you and H should not talk during this time? I think you need to find a NEW counselor and one that can see you MORE than just once a month. You need intense counseling at this time and you and your H should be together not apart not speaking during this crucial time. Find another counselor QUICK!
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 29
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 29 |
This one is not unlike a mathematical equation. No discussion = No resolution.<P>By all means TALK! Sounds like your counsellor got their degree through a correspondence course (not that there's anything wrong with that).<P>Communication is the first step towards purging the pain and the building block of what can be. I agree with Trying - find another counsellor who can see you at least once if not twice a week, write down your thoughts and feelings whenever possible and talk talk talk to your H. If you feel better having your discussions in the presence of a trained counsellor, find one ASAP!
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283 |
Read all the info on the homepage here. Read and post. <P>Get a new counselor (or at least call her and ask her what the heck she means...Talking, communicating is crucial. But, maybe she just means not to rehash the affair over and over....I can't imagine that she literally meant not to talk about your feelings, etc.)<P>Hang in there.<P>Kathi
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 397
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 397 |
Try dating each other. Start from the beginning. Learn to enjoy each others company, resolve some issues. I don't understand why your counselor would say such a thing, it really doesn't make much sence. Get to know your H again, and let him get to know you. <P>Best of luck to you both,<BR>Viki
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