Well, it was an ok week. Hubby still hasn't moved back home. He did bring our digital camera which is valued at about $500 back. He brought more of his Hotwheels back. He bought a new $100 graphics card for *MY* computer and put it in for me. He is really handy to have around. <P>He spent the day with us Wednesday. We all went to Best Buy so he could buy the graphics card for my puter. He baked me another cheese cake to take to work. Thursday was my last day. He stayed here until midnight on Wednesday. Which means he didn't get back to her place until almost 1am. I wonder what she is thinking. <P>Then he showed up at 7am on Thursday morning. He brought some more of his things over. This is where I had a bad day. We had a nice morning. He stayed until I had to go to work at 9am. I asked him if he would come and watch the boys as my co-workers were having a going away party for me. Well, he wouldn't commit to coming and watching them. I was sort of bummed.<P>I went ahead and found a friend to watch the boys. They were completely bummed because they didn't want to go to this person's house. They don't care for her much. (hmmmm.... now I know where I can send them when they are bad!!! LOL!) Well, my husband called at 4:30. I needed him to be to our house by 5 if he was going to watch the kids. He said he didn't think he would make it to watch them. Well, I asked him if he would please come. He said he would. He drove the 40 minutes to come. That was nice.<P>When he got here, he brought in a brochure for a car and one for a camper. We want to get a camper and take the kids camping this summer. Anyway, he was all excited about that stuff. I was happy he brought them and shared them with me. He was thinking about us.<P>I left and did the party thing with my co-workers. I only stayed a couple of hours. My h said he needed to be back by a certain time. This ticked me off. I cooperated as best as I could. He says the ow hasn't said anything when he has been late. She didn't get mad at him when he didn't come home at all that night he stayed here. Yet, before he came over, he had to leave her a note and say what time he would be back. Interesting...<P>I was having a bad day Thursday. I really like my job and I really don't want to leave it. I love the people I work with. They are all like family. Then, to top it all off, we have been waiting for a guy to call my husband about a job. My h says as soon as he gets a new job and quit his present one, he will move back home. Well, the guy hadn't called yet as of last night. So, I was feeling tormented by my husband coming and going. It is so hard. When he showed up, I asked him if he could just come home now. I told him it was so hard to take. It has been a really stressful week for me what with getting a new job and all sorts of other fun things going on.<P>Well, when I got back from my party, my h had to pretty much leave right away. I asked him again if he could just come home now. Then, he said that maybe he shouldn't come around so much right now. He said he was afraid I would start to hate him everytime he leaves and goes back to her. Well, that about killed me. I was crushed. He had more tears in his eyes. I told him I wouldn't hate him but that it is just so hard and that I am trying to be strong. He went to leave and told me to e-mail him if I heard anything from that guy. I told him to keep in touch. <P>Well, the rest of my night was pretty well shot. I was feeling so devastated. I cried and called my sister-in-law. I feel so bad, she is helpless in this. Then my sister called. The one who is not so supportive of us getting back together. She didn't even know we were talking about it. She sort of made me feel worse! Then, a good friend called and she made me feel somewhat better. I told her that I figured my h would probably back off now. She said he would call me this weekend. I told her he wouldn't. <P>WELL... He called me at 7:30 this morning. He wanted to know if the guy called about the job yet. He hadn't. So, I told my h that he should call them on MOnday as he has the day off. He decided that was a good idea. I felt better after he called. I happened to be crying before he called.<P>Then, he called again later in the day. He told me he called the guy about the job. He should be there right now filling out an application and having an interview with the guy. I was relieved to hear that. He also made a point of telling me that he is going to have a lot of time off this week. He works a rotating schedule. So, this is his week that he will have Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. Unfortunately, I start my new full-time job on Monday so I won't be home until after 5:30 every night. But, I made a point of telling him I would be home at that time. <P>Our son's birthday is on Friday the 7th. I reminded my husband of that and he said he would come over that day when they get out of school. That way they can come home at 3 instead of waiting for me to get home at 5:30. <P>I think he felt bad for saying that he shouldn't come around much right now. He sure took some action today with the job thing. That makes me feel better. That and the fact that he called me twice about it all. The reason the guy hadn't called us yet was because he just got our phone number today. <P>Now, hopefully, my husband can start that new job very soon. I am still scared because he has to actually leave this woman and I don't know how that is going to go at all! One of my friends said that maybe he would move home on my birthday. That is April 14th. That is too far away. I was hoping he would move home this week. BUT, I am not going to push it! I will try and stay strong a little while longer! It sure is hard though! I would have done better yesterday but the stress of everything was closing in on me big time!<P>I am staying home this weekend and going NO WHERE!!! I need some time to rest and relax. I also have lots of stuff to get done before I start my new job on Monday. I am hoping to get things organized around here so that I can make it through the week easier. <P>I am stressed about my new job. I will have to get the kids to extended day at 7am every morning. I have to drive half an hour to get to work. I start at 8 and then don't get done until 5. Then I have to drive half an hour back home and pick up the kids. I won't get home until 6. Yuck! I haven't worked full-time since I had the kids. So, this is going to take some getting used to! My kids have never been in daycare either! So, I am going to have some long days ahead of me. It will be a big adjustment for me and the boys! I hope we survive it!<P>Well, my snoopy son is here watching me and I better quit now! Hee hee hee!!!<P>Hopefully, I will have more positive things to add in the very near future!!!!!!!!!<P>Woozy

woozy, you've given me such great upbeat advice. I'd like to do the same for you.<P>You know that there is a yo-yo effect involved here. I'm sure it will be a better day for you tomorrow. He sounds like he understands where his heart and soul is.<P>In another post we both commented on the kids being Love Busters. Does he have a difficult time dealing with the kids??/<P><BR>I know my H does. I think its' too much for him sometimes. I think he feels like he doesnt measure up. So he runs away... It is so frustrating sometimes. He has been, before this, such a thoughtful guy. He has a lot to say, a lot of good info, yet he has always seemed unwilling to believe that. <P>I have always been his most ardent advocate. Seeems ironic that he would then betray me and the kids eh???????<P>Hang in there. You have done such a wonderful job so far. I look forward to reading your next post. O

Thank you Too Trusting... I am having a hard time tonight. I just want this roller coaster ride to end! I was hoping he would show up here tonight to let me know how it went when he talked to that guy about his job. BUT, no, he went to her place. I know most of his things are still there but man, the really important things are right here at home! <P>I hope he will call me tomorrow to let me know how it went. I hope it went well. I am so scared right now! This really just seems to be getting harder and harder to take. <P>My h does have a difficult time dealing with the kids. Although when he was here yesterday to watch them, he commented that they are a lot easier to deal with now. He said they went outside and played with the neighbor kids and they weren't a problem at all. So, that was good. I was glad it went well for them. I was afraid I would come home and all hell would have broken loose or something.<P>When my h was here on Wednesday night, it got a little hairy. My oldest son through a football and it hit our storm window and busted the glass out of it. I went out and talked to him about it. I handled it in a calm manner. I then swept up the glass and took it out to the garbage. Then my h came and asked what happened. I told him and he got pretty upset but then he got it under control. <P>I like you have been my husband's biggest fan! I adore him and always have. He adored me also. That is why for the life of me, I can't understand why he can hurt me like this. I just want him to come home now! I can't take much more of this. I am trying so hard to stay strong but it is getting harder and harder!<P>I really wish he would have contacted me about how the job thing went. I hope he can start it soon. I hope he can break free of that woman!!!<P>I will try to remember to focus on the positives! It is hard but I have to remember the good things!<P>Woozy

I'm so happy to hear that things are going (mostly) well for you! Hang in there--you've made it this far; you can make it a bit farther.<P>You really sound like you're handling things well. Thanks for the inspiration!<P> --HBC

Woozy, just hang in there, Hon....breaking away takes a while sometimes. I know how hard it is to wait....once Robert asked to come home, I didn't thing he'd EVER get here. And the break with PT has been messy and...well, too many adjectives to think of! And once he started talking about coming home, there was LOTS of waffling!! Don't let these things discourage you.<P>You guys are gonna be just fine. Just give it time and love. And I KNOW you've got lots of that!<P>Hang in there.<P>Lori

Hang in there Woozy! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.<P>The ride sucks worse now, because you can see what is coming but you are not there yet. the anticipation and expectations of what WILL happen are making you not appreciate what HAS/IS happening..<P>Look at how far you/he has come so far...sit back and enjoy that for a while and hopefully it will just keep getting better!!

I really feel for you! I was put in the same situation and I understand how hard it really is! I felt like I was being stabbed over and over again when he would leave and go back with her. I couldn't believe how strong I did become. You are too! I know that I wanted to give up and move on without him, but the fact that I knew how much he loved me and how much he wanted to come home, helped me to be strong. He just had to find it in himself to actually act on the things that he would say. (Double minded) I hung on as hard as it was to do. I had so many people who encouraged me. I wanted to give up, said I wasn't strong enough, but I was doing it....I WAS strong enough! I made it through. He is now home. It has only been a week, but a very successful week at that. May God be with you through all of this. Hang on to his strength if yours should fail. He doesn't fail.....don't forget that. Let him carry your burdens! We can only take so much, but he can take it all! I know how important it is to have a few words of encouragement! God won't let you carry what you can't handle! God bless you and your family! God will see you through!!!!

Thanks for the words of encouragement you guys! I need them really bad right now!<P>I am going crazy waiting for him to call me to tell me how the job interview went! He didn't send me an e-mail to let me know. He works opposite days of the ow. So, on the days she is off, he doesn't send me e-mails. I can only assume that is because she is right there with him when he is on the computer. He had told me he doesn't check it everyday. Then, when he is at work that is when he calls me.<P>So, I am hoping and praying that he calls me with some good news today about the job. He may not know anything yet either. This waiting is killing me! I am trying to be so patient. It is so hard. <P>I am having a hard time this weekend also because he has to work. On the days he works, we don't see him. He works from 6am to 6pm. So, that pretty much wipes out his days. Then I start my new job on Monday and won't be home until 6pm every night. So, that pretty much takes care of anytime that we can spend together. He does have next weekend off. I get weekends off. So, hopefully we will get to spend time together then. <P>I know I have to stay patient but this is really hard. I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt I was so mad at him and that I started pounding on him and yelling at him. I think those are things I would like to do but I know that it is wrong. So, maybe it was good to dream about it. You know, get that anger out in my sleep. <P>I guess I just need to keep myself busy with things this weekend and hopefully that will keep my mind off things. At least I slept fairly well last night. <P>I am worried about what will happen when he leaves her. I worry that she will put up a fight. AT least she lives 40 minutes away from where we live. I have never met the woman or even seen her for that matter. Well, what I do worry about is that she won't put up a fight. I worry that she will play more of her games and try and convince my husband that he is better off there. This is so hard.<P>I wish I could just stop thinking about it all for a week. ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!<P>Woozy

Woozy, Hang in there. Try to put those doubts out of your head. When I find myself filling up with doubts I open the bible and pray. I will say some extra prayers for you this weekend. <P>The best thing to do is find something to take your mind off of IT. Remember we can only control what we can control......us!!!!

Thank you Too Trusting... <P>I have been busying myself by adding recipes to my husbands family website. You can start one of your own by going to <A HREF="http://www.myfamily.com." TARGET=_blank>www.myfamily.com.</A> It is neat. You can share the site with all your family and they can post messages and events. It is a great way to keep in touch with all of your family.<P>So, that is what I have been doing to keep my mind off things. I am about ready to go and have a nice long soak in the tub and shave my legs and all that good stuff. I need to have some relaxation.<P>I am hoping my h will call me today. He has contacted me every single day for 9 days now, either by coming to visit or calling or e-mailing me. Hmmm... That is pretty good odds really. I do need to remember the positives! <P>Thank you for the prayers! I have been praying like crazy and thanking God for all that he has blessed me with. I am so lucky in so many ways. This is just one of those nasty bumps in the road and I pray to God that we can make it through this one! I am willing to go for it! I just can't wait until my husband gets home for good! <P>So, I guess I have to do all my whining and pouting and stuff like that here! I will survive! I simply have to! There is no getting around it at all!<P>Well, I am off to take my bath now! <P>Woozy