She said (the custody evaluator) that I am a vindictive, angry and completely illogical person..The my stbx needs to have cutody of the girls so that they have a chance to bond and respect their dad.<P>Because the girls didn't say enough negative stuff about me.....and more about their dad that I am wittingly rewarding them.<P>In a nut shell.....the my stbx is more likely to change since my MMPI2 test said that I am a person who doesn't except change well.<P>She claimed to have been in contact with him all of this time and that although there has been a slight improvement in the situation that she feels that it happened because "Nancy is under a looking glass".<P>There are so many lies in the report that my stbx claims......and everything that I said seemed to be twisted into something bad. She even mentioned that some of my responces were "psycho babble".<P>Thanks for all of your support through all of this.....I don't think there is anything that I could have done right.<P>Nancy

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I am SO, SO SORRY! You and the girls are in my prayers.<P>Kathi<P>

I am so sorry to hear this. Can you get a second opinion?<P><P>------------------<BR>You can't live with them, you can't kill them!<BR>Viki

Nancy,<P>You know you are in my thoughts and prayers everyday. Talk with your lawyer and see if there is anything you can do to fight this!<P>((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you and the girls.<P>Mitzi

I am so sorry to hear this. <P>Definitely talk to your lawyer (or get a new one if this one isn't helpful) and see if there is anything you can do. If not short term, long term.<P>I'm thinking of you. Hang in there.

(((((((((Nancy)))))))))<P>I'm so sorry. I agree with Mitzi, talk to your lawyer as there has got to be something that can be done. Don't give up and keep fighting for what you know is right.<P>Take care.<P>Tulip

Nancy,<P>I am so sorry to hear this. I know how special the kids are to you.<P>I agree with the others, there has to be a way to fight this. <P>God Bless<P>Bob

<small>[ February 27, 2005, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Nancy, I am sorry.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I'm a little behind. Did you ever get that new lawyer you were thinking about?<P>Don't give up, Hon. Never ever give up. You and those girls are in my prayers.<P>Lori

I am so sorry! Can you get a second observation? He did the damage yet you have to pay 2x. Gosh, i am so sorry for you. <P>God Bless you.<BR>Mercy

{{{{Nancy}}}}<P>I am so sorry Nancy!

Nancy,<BR>All my best thoughts and prayers that this all turns out for the best.

The report was 19 pages long. Most of it was bull. Some of it was true. It seems that my stbx is very good at lying.<P>So lets see.....he has an affair. From what I understand.....it has been ongoing since 1997. When I find out I am devastated....I go to counseling...I get on anti-deps.....I try to make my marriage work...I forgive and try to trust again.....I continue to be sad because he keeps leaving......I get depressed and think it is all my fault. <P>He takes no blame.....he walks out to run an errand and never comes back.....he doesn't call or see the children or me until 15 days later. Comes in....gets his stuff....is drunk and screams and yells....he steals my journals....he quits paying child support....he cancels all of my credit cards and takes all the money out of the acct. He and the OW get me arrested....he files for emergency custody of the children....he does not allow me to see or talk to them when he had them....he called and would say horrible things.....he called and would pretend that he wanted to get back together.....he would tell the girls all about the legal issues....he would hit them.....call them names....hit me.....call me names....<P><BR>But according to the evaluator....I am a mean and vindictive person. That I am angry and that I will try to make him pay.<P>Well.....after what he has done....it seems he is the angry...vindictive person...not be.<P>But of course she also said that I take no blame for all of this....that I say it is all his fault.<P>Nancy

{{{{Nancy}}}}<P>Just to let you know I'm thinking of you. What about a second opinion? I cannot imagine any sane person would not see your pain. I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

My new attorney had suggested that if the report came back that we could get a second opinion. I would love to have one....he is such a liar. <P>Sometimes I think that she has gotten on this site and read my posts. Some things in her report have a slight leaning toward what we all are doing here and there are some things that I don't know how she would really know.<P>I hate the fact that I would not be able to be open and honest on this forum. But nevertheless I will be. I believe that is the only way you can totally get over something like this.<P>Nancy

Nancy,<P>I am so sorry. I agree with the others. Go for the second opinion.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NANCY}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

What state are you in? Are you aware of the new legislation being considered in the California senate? If passed, other states could be convinced to adopt or at least apply it. Here is the link to that info.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.senate.ca.gov/ftp/sen/committee/STANDING/JUDICIARY/_home1/PROFILE.HTM" TARGET=_blank>http://www.senate.ca.gov/ftp/sen/committee/STANDING/JUDICIARY/_home1/PROFILE.HTM</A> <P>Some states do allow for independent evaluations. But I don't know your state. Did you consult your attorney?<BR>

I also just wanted to add that I have to agree with Hanora. The MMPI is among the most ludicrous scales for measuring personality I have ever seen.<P>"I think I would like the work of a florist"? Who came up with these questions???<BR>

I am in Indiana. I went to the site....which bill should I look at?<P>Nancy<P>

I agree about the MMPI test....it was so stupid. Do I believe Satin is telling me what to do? Do you really think anyone would answer yes to this....unless they want to be committed. <P>Hey I answered yes to that....."would you like the job of a florist" and also the one about a forrest ranger and the librarian.<P>Does that mean that I portray the "meany" group?<P><BR>Really...I am so sad and devastated by the report...but it was so full of psycho babble that sometimes I had to look up the word....you know...just to see what I am.