FA --<P>How's about an update on the tests...<P>Everything okay? <P>Thinking positive thoughts!<P>--keystone

Hey keystone,<P>What a day yesterday! LOL I made it through the hard one thats for sure! <P>I'm really glad now that it was postponed from Friday. The department I went to Friday doesn't numb the area and now that I had it done I'm glad they sent me to radiology. <P>It went ok, the girl doing the ultrasound part was really surprised on how large the mass was. She even commented to me as to how I'm swallowing anything, and I told her its hard but I am. It must have grown since the last ultrasound in the beginning of March. It was about the size of a large lemon(scarey huh!). <P>The Dr then came in and started the procedure. She got all excited so I knew it was good news and she said to me that it was filled with fluid! Yeah!!!!! So she was able to drain it almost all the way then she did a biopsy. She said 99% of the time these are nothing to worry about. <P>Then it was time to go in after the other one which was a lot smaller. She went into it 7 times and no luck with that one. Its solid so she just did the biopsy on that one. <P>The Dr said I did really well, so I felt good about the way I handled it all. So now its back to waiting for the results and having the one other test done on the 12th. So keep those positive thoughts up! <P>H was a little upset with me last night for not letting him know that I was going in yesterday. I explained to him being hes not handling this all to well that I didn't want him around because it would have made me nervous and I was feeling really good about the whole thing. It was probably a LB but I had to do what I felt comfortable with. <P>I was told no strenuous activity for 48 hours so I guess I can't finish my painting. I'll have to find something to do with my time besides sleeping! LOL <P>Any updates on your situation?!?!?!?<P>falsely accused

FA --<P>Good news for you! Keep up those positive thoughts!! We'll all hope for the good report that you should be expecting!!<P>So you've gotta slow down a bit during recovery. How about you direct your H from the couch as HE finishes up the painting!<P>LOL!!! (I just had to say it. If you don't, its a LB. If I say it, I'm just being a critical poster!) Maybe some good videos are in order. Or, you can become a stock day-trader. Some rest that would be, huh!<P>Anyway, how did he react to your response about not letting him know about the tests? How have your D's handled the tests and you're needing to rest? Perhaps they can help out, too.<P>My situation is status quo. No changes, and I have not yet asked her the question re:whether she wants this marriage to work or not. <P>This past weekend was really crazy. Saturday, we spent some time at the ballpark where many of her single/divorced/divorcing friends are. As usually, she spent the time with them. It's amazing how much hugging, joking, and laughter goes on between them, yet I rarely even rank a look into my eyes.<BR>Forget any hugs or kisses.<P>In all, not a comfortable situation. <P>Sunday was filled with other family activities. Much better as a family, but still a hectic day. Again, the situation didn't present itself where I could talk with her alone and maintain her attention.<P>Lot's of stuff is happening this week, so I don't know that I'll have an opportunity. I keep looking for the opening where I can talk -- in a non-confrontational manner - and still know that she can't wiggle out of the topic by getting distracted.<P>We'll see.<P>In the meantime, I'm off into the field. I'll try to check in later. In the meantime, take it easy and don't OD on computer solitare!!<P>Chin Up!<P>--keystone

keystone,<P>Yeah it was good news. Funny thing is I didn't realize how bad it was affecting me swallowing things until last night when I went to take my vitamins(horse pill size! LOL), they went down so easy it was amazing. Not only that but my voice is starting to come back, its not so raspy anymore.<P>Major LOL!, when you say about me directing H to finish the painting. I asked him Sunday to go get me another gallon at the store because I was running out and he did. Then when I asked him to open it for me and he got paint on his hands he was right at the sink washing it off! I cracked up! Its not like hes use to clean hands either hes a mechanic!<P>So I'm taking it easy again today. Its a crummy rainy day here in Jersey and I decided to take a nap being I didn't sleep well last night. The bandage they have on is pulling and making me very uncomfortable.<P>As far as the way H reacted to me not letting him know, well he said hes fine with all of it and he would have been fine if he was there. Yeah right! If I believed one ounce of that I would have told him. He just told my girlfriend Saturday night that he can't handle all of this, so who's he kidding. Not me thats for sure! I think he was a little upset with me, but I think maybe he "got a clue" as to why I did this alone.<P>The hardest part was telling him about what I went through. I don't think he was really listening because I had to keep repeating myself. I don't know whether he just didn't understand or if he was blocking out what I was telling him, but he kept coming back with the same questions. <P>As far as the girls, surprisingly D#2 took the news quite well. She had a really bad week last week(emotionally) her teacher was in a bad car accident, so between what I'm going through and what happen to him she was a mess. But he was back yesterday and she saw that I was fine so she's doing pretty good. D#1, well what can I say! I guess shes like her father more than I like to admit. LOL She kept asking the same questions over and over again. They were actually good and knew I couldn't yell so they kept things calm last night. Thats all I asked for. <P>I did slip and mentioned the smaller mass which no one really knew about. So now there a lot of questions as to why I didn't tell anyone about it. I didn't say anything because the Dr didn't really make mention of that one. I only knew because I read the report from the first ultrasound. Oh well what am I going to do! <P>Well I guess with all the activities in your life right now it's going to take a lot to find the "right" time to talk to your W. I guess that a big part of the problem. There is never enough time to talk. Always something in the way. <P>I didn't OD on comupter solitare! I like Freecell better a little more challenging! <P>falsely accused

FA --<P>Try Taipei. It's also a good computer game. Also helps break the monatoney (sp?).<P>Talk with you tomorrow!<P>--keystone