Marriage is suppose to be a promise to be with each other 'till death do us part'<BR>so why would a husband tell his wife that he can't promise he will be able to stay with her?

Has/IS he having an affair? Sounds like withdrawal. Keep reading and posting here and you will learn a lot about withdrawal, Plan A and Plan B. It's a great start to try to get ANY understanding of what is happening to our spouses while their brain is being held hostage!

trying2_4give thank you for your reply<P>My sisters husband said this to her after they got married.<P>I am quite suspicious because he hasnt got his residency and they married 4 months after he arrived in the country

I hope she hasn't heard the "typical words"... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Archives/Archive-000001/HTML/19991122-1-003658.html" TARGET=_blank>Famous quotes from betraying spouses</A>...<P>You're a good person for caring about others. <P>Jim

i have noticed a few inconsistencies in my sisters marriage...like her husband worries about money..yet he wont go out and at least try to find a full time job. he was offered one but turned it down cause he couldnt be bothered.<BR>he thinks spending $60 (new zealand) on food for 2 people a week is too much.<BR>he has managed to save about 10k yet he was moaning about how much it is gonna cost them to move.<BR>she didnt tell many people she was getting married...she told me the day before (they got married at the registry office) she didnt tell her mother (adopted) and i think the reason why she didnt was because she knew that her mother would say something like "you should wait a while longer. you havent known this guy long enough. he hasnt been in the country that long etc etc" if you cant tell your parents you are getting married and even if you dont have a great relationship with your parent/s if you are proud of marrying this person you should be able to say im getting married and not worry about what people.<BR>so could i be wrong in thinking that my sister knew what she was doing at the time wasnt right but went ahead with it anyway cause she was scared of loosing this guy if she didnt marry him. <BR>i mean she is what i would callanaive person and i mean i could be wrong...but this guy could have been thinking..well she doesnt seem like a strong person.. i will "develop a relationship" with this girl then a few months later will ask her to marry me....<BR>but who knows i just think she should have waited at least a year before marrying him.<BR>i just hope for her sake that he did marry her cause he loves her and not to stay in the country.<BR>also him saying i cant promise i will always be with her...if their marriage is genuine he should have no problems staying in the country<P><p>[This message has been edited by bijzonder (edited April 05, 2000).]