I JUST HAVE TO VENT. My H left me in February for his OW. I also found out I have herps, I'm sure from him, altho I'm beginning not to know when that actually happened. I've become a web expert on the subject and it seemed to me my first symptons were way back almost a year after we were married 13 1/2 years ago.<P>Thinking back on a time line, I think I have discovered my now cheating husband has been cheating for a very long time. I think I have uncovered a good 10+-year long either affair or sex-spree with a woman named Robin, who happened to follow him around job to job and I was too stupid and wound up in my stuff (job, family, kids, friends, and yes, him) to notice. It just hit me now like a ton of bricks how she was his "friend" when I first got symptons, and then she by some miracle of small worldism ended up working years later at another company with him. She'd call and I stupidly thought it was always just business. He'd make up stories about a disaster at work that he'd have to go fix late at night.<P>I'M SO FURIOUS!! My only consolation is that his current OW is getting a disease (or two, who knows yet but I suspect) and he'll most likely continue even behind her back. What comes around goes around. Until now, I have always left space for reconciliation (if I saw him make a complete 180 and want to heal our marriage), but now I'm so done. I guess I have no reason to be on this forum anymore except to lurk and see how some of you all are doing.

What a slap in the face. To even think that it had happened before can just make you realize there is no hope.<P>I often still wonder.....because my H had friends that were girls that he talked to at work and they also seemed to be at every function we were at. I would tease him about them....but now I wonder. Partly because he says that our marriage was over within 2 years...but we were married for 11. <P>At this point...I don't care. One day it will get him back. Hope I live to see the day.<P>Nancy

Weirded Out,<BR>Yes I can and do feel your pain, disgust, anger etc. etc. After finding out about 2 EA's happening at same time last year, begged, and all just tell me the whole truth. Months later H admitted to several PA one nighters and EA's thru out marriage. Realized I got HPV at beginning of marriage but doc didn't even imply STD current. I always had regular paps and it never came up till then. Turns out it occured about 6-9 months later in me. Read on the net that incubation period is probably 6-8 mths. Pretty sure H gave it to me now. I'm pretty sick about it. We are trying to work things out after final confession, somedays are not so good, others great. But the pain is very difficult. I had several abnorm paps over the years and finally about 2 yrs ago a nurse told me I need to check on my so-called monogamous relatioonship. After finding everything out, I find myselff kinda PO'd at all the Doc's who never even let on that my probs weren't normal. Like you I won't, can't for my own sanity go thru anything like this again, I keep saying it'll be over if it ever does happen again. But you know you really never know what you'll do till it happens to you. I wish you blessings, save yourself. "Having done all else, stand."