I know a person can only be so supportive but my H went on another all nighter last night and came home at 5am and I just couldn't pull myself out of bed this morning. I started taking the antidepressants last night and that might have had some effect. Well I didn't go to work this morning.<P>My boss emailed me and said that I need to get my life in order because my sadness and abscense is affecting the whole department. I try to put on my happy face at work and I don't think the quality of my work has been jepordized but I know feel like everything is just slipping away. Why am I the one who has to handle not only my H affair all the sadness and now being told basically shape up or ship out. <P>Maybe I should look for another job away from here, my H and the OW and start over. I am a good worker and what kills me is that there is another person in our department who for years has come and gone as she has pleased and I don't see her being repremanded. I guess I will go back Monday put my silly little happy face on and not take any time off till he** freezes over. And it isn't like we are that busy this time of year.<P>Now I feel lower than low.

I'm no lawyer but hopefully this will help... I got the info from the Women's Migraine Survival Guide.<P>you mention you've recently started taking anti-depressants. have you considered taking time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act? (FMLA) The FMLA, passed into law in 1993, provides for up to twelve weeks of unpaid leave if you've worked 1,250 hours or more (about seven and a half months of full-time employment) for a company with more than fifty employees. You can take FMLA leave for your own health or for the medical problems of a family member who needs assistance. But, if you take FMLA leave, you have to inform your boss that the reason for your absences is your depression, although from you post it sounds like he may already know.<P>The time off need not be consecutive, and could give you the opportunity to get things under control at home without fear of losing your job. You just have the option of taking unpaid leave when you've used up your paid sick leave. The FMLA also provides for leave taken sporadically - several hours here, several hours there - or "intermittently on a reduced leave schedule for certain conditions". One of these conditions is a "chronic health problem" for which you may need leave for periods ranging from an hour or more to several weeks. You can call the Dept of Labor at 1-800-959-FMLA for more info.<P>Also, because depression is a debilitating biochemical disease, you may qualify for protection under the ADA if your boss fires you. This would only apply if, even with treatment, you are unable to function normally. More info is at 1-800-514-0301.<P>Best of luck...

Younglove,<P>Thanks so much for the info. I did originally take a two week unpaid leave (not the FMLA) when I found out about my H's affair back in the fall. I was also out for two weeks around Christmas because of being in the hospital. All the time that I was away it was for a good reason. Not like I was unable to work because I didn't want to or was an alcoholic or doing drugs etc. Why is it that some people just don't think depression is an ailment just like others things. <P>My work when I am there is very good and I really do try to go every day. Actually I could be asked to be put on half time disability due to the depression and have not done that because I felt guilty if I wasn't there. So although I am trying I am being made to feel guilty for it. The other thing that bothers me is that raises are coming up and now I am afraid my boss will hold this against me. He should only base his decision on my work quality and other things and exclude the fact that I have been absent more lately because of the stress and depression.<P>I hope he doesn't do that because I could really use the money right now. Maybe I should tell him that I am trying my best and that dealing with depression is not easy and I don't think that I should be put in this uneasy situation because of it. Some people I don't think understand what it is like to feel the way we do.

Yup, this is all too farmiliar in my case...<P>I found out about my wifes affair about 2 months ago and have been coming into work every day since, except for a storm day which would have been just stupid anyway. I have taken some time away from the office to handle personal affairs but not one full day that I can remember. So what does my boss do first of this week? Hands me a memo which sates MY duties in relation to the company and what he expects from me. I took it in stride but it is really hard to think that in light of all that I am going through, someone could turn around and put more stress on me.<P>It just plain sucks and makes me lose any faith I have in the fact that there may actually be some good people on this world.<P>Good luck and I hope you make out ok...<P>William