I was interested in how your spouse's OP acted once the affair was out in the open and then ended.<BR>Did they try and maintain contact, continue to profess love, etc or something completely different? <BR>The Op in my H's short affair did the total unexpected when he ended it on my discovery: said you can have him, blasted him and called him names, admitted it was his money she was really after, and of course placed all the blame on him to all and sundry. (Though it was she who was asking him to leave me, and trying to get him to make plans for a future together in OUR house) Also she never showed any remorse about any of it(she's had several affairs before). I guess I was actually lucky, it seems there was no "love" there at all. Any one else get this sort of response from the OP? It still astounds me to this day.

When Robert left PT to come home, she acted as if he had become temporarily insane. She waffled from tears, becoming the "perfect woman", anger, blackmail, you name it, she did it! She also feels that he played her terribly and (my most favorite of all! ) I am a horrible woman who set out to destroy her life!!! How dare I come b/n her and the love of her life! <P>I'm still amazed at the pranks she is STILL pulling. Oh, well, ya never know.<P>Lori

My H's last contact with OW was Oct., at which point she started dating his housemate, reviling my H to anyone who would listen, she emailed him Monday. Sometimes they don't give up. I've told Guard that if I stop the divorce and work on the marriage, I will want a face to face talk with the wench and he will tell her that he loves me...I love him and our marriage is all he wants and needs in his life. <P>Then I will snatch her bald-headed...oh, wait, that's the other version... <P>Oh, and his first "no contact" letter to her was in Jan of 99 and I'm not sure contact ever ended.<p>[This message has been edited by Lor (Lor) (edited April 12, 2000).]

Tears:<P>I haven't read all the other posts, but this one hit me like a brick wall. Sounds like you are speaking right out of my mouth! Except for the money part, that's how it all went down with my H's affair too. Short lived (thank God), no love, although I think there was some on her part. I talked to her and all she did was blast him and call him names, but the next sentences would be the old how were they going to live together after the divorces! Ooooh - that ticks me off. From all that I've found out, she too, has had several affairs (this coming from her father no less!).<P>She too, told me I could "have him". Well, gee thanks. He's already mine to begin with, right? Ack!<P>We're only 11-1/2 weeks into recovery, but as unfortunate and painful as the experience was, it was the best thing that could ever have happend to us. My H is also an alcoholic so not only are we 11-1/2 weeks into recovery, my H is also 11-1/2 weeks into sobriety as well. <P>I know what you mean by it astounds you to this day. It also astounds me. I just don't get it, and I don't think I ever will. Even our counselor said that by all intense and purposes, <B>I</B> should of been the one having an affair! She still doesn't understand how I've stayed in this marriage so long and have beared what I have with his alcoholism and ignorance.<P>But, so far, that's all in the past. I hope it all stays there for that matter. <P>My H never tried to remain in contact. After I told her he was an alcoholic (they met at the bar every day after work, and she didn't know this?), she contacted him a couple of days later and asked him why he never told her this. Um, duh? <P>Neither side professed love of any sorts. <P>So there's my OP story in a nutshell. I'm glad to see that someone else out there has a freaky OP and is no longer in the picture, nor do they want to be. I wish everyone else on this board had it this easy too. <P>Looking forward to seeing the other replies.<P>Thanks for posting! --purplemag

The OW in our lives had her friend occasionally approach my H (at the gym he works out at and where OW's friend works) to encourage him to call the OW. This went on sporadically for 9 months after discovery and end of short-lived affair.<P>After 9 months of OW trying to get my H through her friend (which, by the way, he kept telling OW's friend, "NO"), the OW finally e-mailed my H at his work. My H replied to her e-mail by forwarding her jokes. Stupid him...thought that he could maintain a friendly e-mail correspondence with her.<P>I found out about this and told him that I am NOT wasting my time anymore. He either cuts her off forever or I'm leaving. (This was not an idle threat).<P>Well, he wrote her a "No Contact" letter stating his love for me and that he would not jeapordize his marriage again; and that he regrets ever meeting her or having an affair with her; in addition, to NEVER contact him ever again.<P>We haven't heard from her since.<P>You would have thought that she got the message 9 months prior when he broke it off with her. Can't believe that she wouldn't give up. She makes me sick!<P>p.s. After he wrote the "No Contact" letter, he changed gyms too.....found out that she also took a job there at the gym where he works out at. I'm assuming that she wanted to be physically closer to him so that she could weasel her way back into our lives.<P><p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited April 12, 2000).]

Tears,<P>My wife's OP was "crushed", although he ws married too. He continued to profess his love through e-mail and pagers, because he and W work for same company and will have times that they will have to see each other. <BR>About three weeks ago, OP called wife threatening to kill himself because she "dumped" him after discovery of EA, after they had talked about being in love and being together. OP threatened to pay me a visit at my work. I'm in law enforcement. Told wife to give him the address and that I would leave the door open for him.

Well I will get the extreme "pleasure" (gag, choke, bleck) of seeing for myself how the nasty tramp is doing on Saturday when I go to a kiddie birhtday party. Can't wait... I just hope that she has the good judgement to leave me alone.<P>I do know thru a friend that she is mad at H for all the lies he told HER. HA! What nerve! What right does the wench think she has to be mad about lies told to her by MY husband?!? Sorry, but that just really bothers me.

the op in my life called me and talked to me of private things that my H had been kind enough to share, she emailed me telling me that my H has had many affairs. Problem was her info did not add up. Then after the discovery and before my H had decided what to do she got pregnant and know she will be in my life forever though my H now uses the word loathing when speaking of her. I have heard of a great law in Honk Kong you can kill your husband with your bear hands for an affair and you can kill the person they had an affair with anyway you want and you can do it in public and be free of prosecution. I keep thinking about asking her to go on vacation. Just wishful thinking at my really low times

pw--maybe we could get a group rate? LOL

She told my husband not to tell me who she was when she called. I knew by the change in his voice, there was no lying to me. Then she asked to talk to me and apologized for all that she had done. Wished us luck. I felt really bad for her until my husband told me that she didn't want me to know originally that it was her. Talk about an impression manager.