I have not posted in a long time nor have I been reading, I have been hiding. The child was born dec22 and it was a girl, we got to take the ow to hosp. JOY The nightmare is that we have agreed to child support and we know for sure it is my H's the amount is high. The nightmare is that in court this ow purgered herself to get to me. She said that my H has seen this child 3-4 times a week it got to me and when we got home my H basically showed me that her comment was not possible. Now she says she needs child care money in the amount of 500 plus a month. She does not even have a full time job she is a weekend warrior and the courts seem to see fit to give her any and all that she wants. I feel so helpless. I can choose to go along or I can give up my time and help raise this child. None of these options appeal to me. I feel so much rage towards her and her speaking of not being treated fairly. In a letter to her lawyer that she knew we would see she talks about my H's promises and that she deserves to be treated fairly. Give me a break. I need some advice on how to cope and be decent to this liar and manipulator for the sake of my marriage and my sanity.

Hi, pw, I just posted the first time myself concerning child by OW with my H (OC). His affair was 7 years ago, I also had a child during this time. Mine is 4 mos older than the OW's child, mine a boy; hers a girl. We pay child support, yet he has never seen the child. He was also in Mil and met OW while in another state doing training, but going there twice a month. It hasn't been easy, I wish there was someway to ease your pain. If he has chosen you over her, then that hopefully means there is still a strong love there from him, and maybe you can find your love for him again. When they hurt you so much you wonder if they are really worth it. If nothing else stay strong for yourself. Use this place to talk about it. See ya later, Tgirl.

PW, I can empathize with what you are going through. The OC in my case, a girl, was born Aug. 16th (only 1 day after my birthday ). We are fortunate in that we have worked out child support without going through the courts. We have visited the OC a few times. It is still very difficult for me but I know that it will get easier over time. It looks like the XOW is going get divorced. That means we will probably become more involved in OC's life. <P>I'm sorry that the XOW in your case is so nutty. I don't have advice for how to handle that.<P>TexasGirl, I read your note earlier but wasn't sure what to say. We have 3 kids (8, 3, and 2). We haven't told them anything yet so I'm not sure how we will handle it. I know that I don't look forward to that time. <P>-Audrey (btw, I'm also a Texas girl!)

Thanks for the replies. It has just been a really rough day. I just feel so alone with all of this. I keep wondering what in my life I did to deserve to be going through this. If I just thought that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. If I could just figure out how to get this woman to realize that by lashing out at me she accomplishes nothing other than inflicting further pain. I'm just so tired of hurting inside. I don't have any children of my own and I fear that with the birth of this child that I will never be fortunate enough to feel the love that my husband has with the 2 kids from his 1st marriage and now this one. I just don;t know how to go on. I just hurt all over. I feel like I am so damaged by the lies and the hurtful moments that have filled this last year. My husband tries so hard to make it better but how can he? How can I? I just feel so lost.

pw, <BR>I haven't got any words of wisdom right now, but I want to share some support for your pain. My H and I are about 19 months into a successful recovery from his adultery/OC. It is so painful and you are still in a "raw" time. It can get better, but every case is different. You are not alone!<BR>Best wishes to you...