I seem to go through this every Friday. I have a real hard time concentrating at work. My H keeps taking the OW out to Darts on Thursday night. The problem is most of my family plays darts and alot of my parent's friends also play. Last night he took her to a tournament and over 200 people got to see him with OW. I know he has moved out (2months ago), but I still feel as I'm the one he should be taking out. My cousin who is on his dart team, says just give him some time. He doesn't say anything to H as he doesn't want to cause contention on the team, but I'm starting to feel replaced in my family too! The funny thing is last week I was the one who went out with him. Although H says it wasn't a date with me, why did I get a kiss then? Can I really MAKE him date me? He agrees to go out with once for every 8 times I ask him. Sometimes he even turns down Sunday dinner with me and the kids and the strange thing is OW has her kids then and the 2 of them don't get together then. Why would he miss an opportunity to be with his children? I just don't understand this. He's given up so much to be with OW - his home, family and most of his income. Could it really be worth it? And will the pain of this EVER go away? Will the tears eventually stop? The counsellor I'm seeing says I should stop calling him and asking him out and just see how long it takes for him to start calling me back. But that seems soooo hard. I haven't stopped calling him this week, but I haven't asked him out either (unless you count arranging a date for 6 months into the future -- he said yes as that one is for our anniversary and of course there's always the chance he would stand me up). Sorry for the rambling, apparently I can't concentrate on a conversation today either. Any thoughts on all of these questions???

I can understand why you are feeling so badly. My suggestion to you is that you find other things to occupy your time and don't call him. Let him start wondering what you are doing. <P>Get out with some friends, invite them over for Sunday dinner. Stop asking him and he is going to start wondering...and just let him... I think I might even go as far as to turn him down if he asks you to go somewhere. Tell him you have other plans...(YES! THAT WOULD BE HARD!)<P>Your pain and tears will take time to go away.... You sound as impatient as I am.... and it is very difficult... but you will feel much better when he starts asking what You've been up to.... won't you?

I agree with Lacee. Detach a little. I know how difficult that is. It makes you crazy, but it works.<P>It seems whenever I back off...my H moves toward me. Even mentally, when I force myself to "forget about it," he seems to sense it.<P>When I really need to feel a little control I don't answer his phone calls for awhile...let him wonder what we're up to. It's tough, especially when I don't know where he is or what he's up to. But men like to do the "chasing" -- and it pays to be a little elusive sometimes. <P>Try to focus on something else...go to church, get involved. Anything to get your mind off him. Just remember, time is on your side (and God is on your side, too!).

sadwife,<BR>Get Dr. Dobsons tough love, it really is a good book.....<BR>Michael