I've been reading all of the posts on infidelity and there are a few things I need help on. Several people have responded to my posts and said that me and my wife need to try to talk about all of our feelings openly and honestly. I can't do that. If we try, she stops the talk after only a few minutes and that leaves me with so many things unsaid that it makes me angry. So I have made a commitment that I will not say anything about our situation unless she starts the conversation. <P>Several people have recomended that we try more physical contact. I can't do that either. I have to ask for a hug, and then sometimes she won't even do that. She sleeps in the second bedroom while I sleep in the master bed. Believe me, I don't expect anything physical at this point, but being turned down for just a hug really hurts.<P>I know that the only way that my W will get over OM is to break off all contact. That is impossible for her right now. She is in her Masters Degree classes and so is he and with only 2.5 weeks left, there is no option without giving up this entire semester. This is so hard for me knowing that she still sees him twice a week for 4 hours at a time. She assures me that they have already broken off the affair and have agreed to keep it on a friendly basis until classes are over, but sometimes it gets really hard to trust what she says.<P>I started Plan A and am doing pretty good, all except for the NO CONTACT part. I have made the needed changes in me and I am showing her everyday how much I love her. I tell her I love her sometimes. I want to tell her all the time, but I can tell sometimes when she doesn't want to hear it so I wil not say it in those cases. <P>If you want a background on my situation you can read my posts in just found out.<P>If anyone can help with some other advice, please do <P>Thank you.

You are right, until the "NO CONTACT" rule is established, your relationship is sort of on hold.<P>It would be unreasonable to ask her to quit at this time, so where do you go from here?<P>Have you asked her what her intentions are regarding your marriage? does she want to work on it at all? or is it too much to ask of her considering she is still in contact?<P>As long as I was in contact with OM, I did not want to work on my marriage. A friend gave me a prayer one day at work(posted in recovery, a prayer for husbands and wives) and it made me realize that I could not continue to live two seperate lives anymore. I have not had contact with OM in 2 weeks. at all. the temptation has been there but i just tell my H that i am tempted and he keeps me busy.<P>ONce i decided to let my H try and meet my emotinal needs, I was able to make a decision about our marriage.<P>Keep up with Plan A. Do your best to give it a couple more weeks. Do not pressure her for physical contact or emotional contact. Give it time. In a couple of weeks when she doesn't need to be in contact, try to get some answers out of her about your future.<P>I hope this helps.<BR>Mercy