Okay Guys,<BR>It is me again.. I just talked to OM today for the first iem since Jan 1. I had my friend call him and have him to call me. And he did. He could not talk long. He is gonna call tomm.<P>I have prayed and prayed for the thinking about him to go away. IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE!! I finally got weak today. Although I dont think anything would happen. I just wanted to know if his withdrawal was as bad as mine. And how he was doing...<P>PRAY FOR ME!!!! I need to be strong!!!!!!!<P><BR>I DONT WANT TO RUIN THIS THING THAT I HAVE WENT THROUGH HELL TO KEEP!!!!!!!<BR>I was just going insane the past week wondering about him <P>Is this normal?

Inamess,<P>Sweetie, I was actually going to post to you tonight to see what was happening! <P>Ok, you know what you did was wrong for you and him or you wouldn't have posted it. And you are wanting advice, right?<P>Well, here goes...Don't take the call tomorrow. If you need to, have your friend call him and tell him not to bother, that you made a mistake and want the no contact rule put into effect again. <P>Heck, if you need to, you can email me all day tomorrow. Or we can go to one of the MB chat rooms. And you can even post here if you want. If you seriously want to stop the affair, you can't have the contac. It just puts you back to square one, but I imagine you know that already. <P>You take care ok? <P>Mitzi<P>mitzihartman@webtv.net<BR>

Mitzi,<P>Thank you so much. I DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN AGAIN. <BR>I dont even know what I was thinking. I just wanted to hear from him. I dont want nothing from him. I passsed him on the road today and dsaid hey. I dont think he or I would ever do that again.<P>I WILL NOT HURT MY H. Nor put myself through that torture again. I dont think Im at square one though. Although that is all that is on my mind. <P>I just keep praying "GOD GET SATAN OFF MY BAK"<BR>This is so hard. I was fine until last week. And this just creeped up on me.<P>And here I am the WEAK ONE AGAIN.<BR>And I am sitting here looking at H thinking " how wonderful he is". That is a good thing though. I would not have done that beofre.<P>All it took was for my friend to say have you missed her.<P>Thanks<BR> Renee<BR>

Renee,<P>Please... Oh please don't take the OM's call.<P>Consciously envision Satan speaking...<BR>...when you think of him on the phone with you...<BR>...because it is... <P>Listen to Mitzi... <P>Jim

Renee,<P><BR>Please don't take the call...please be strong. Look at you husband and feel the happiness then look away and remember the hurt. <P><BR>Love and prayers are with you from me!!<P><BR>J W

I am not sure of your story, but, let me tell you i have been so tempted the last 2 days to make contact! I try to convince myself it would only be for a minute,just to see how he is doing. or I try to convince myself to call him for at least 100 reasons!!!<P>do you know what i keep doing? I talked to my H and told him of the temptations! But, he wasn't here for part of the day, so i put on my praise and worship music and read part of my book," power of a praying wife" AND prayed a hedge of protection over myself! so i wouldn't call!! It was SOOO hard at different times today. <P>I just had to remind myself what a great H i have and that no man is gong to love me the way he does. I thought of my children and how peacefull it has been in this house the last two weeks. You see, it has only been 2 weeeks since last contact. I was not willing to give up my peace and contentment for havoc again. NO WAY!!<P>don't take the call tomorrow. email who ever, pray, call your mother, callyour husband what ever. <P>Good luck, and God Bless,<BR>Mercy

Mercy,<BR>Thanks so much for your reply. I will of couse be in and out of the car all day tommorow. I work out of my car. <P>I know that you are having it ROUGH! I know exactly how you feel. But, Do not make contact. I know I am not practicing what I am preaching. However, I could not imagine talking to Om after 2 weeks. I would have been on his door step.<P>This is the hardest thing that I have ever done. Right now I am trying to quit smoking as well. SO that is even worse. <P>Can I be honest here? If I dont take the call today then later on I will just make contact again. I just want to know hwo he is doing. What am i thinking?<P>IS THIS NORMAL??????<P>Atleast I do feel alot stronger now. I am just putting it in Gods hands.<P>Prayers to all,<BR>Renee

It is absolutely NORMAL, abnormally! <P>I know that if you do not take his call you will make your own contact later. But remember that by making this contact, you are setting yourself up for heartache all over again. the indecisions to make decisions if that makes sense.<P>When you talk to him about how he is doing, I would bet it wouln't be long before you desire to SEE him again. believe me, i totally understand where you are. Today is even worse! I dreamt about him all night. this dreams was absolutely an interactive dream. Usually, my dreams are like a tv show, not a lot of interaction, but it was like he was there. I feel so bad today. <P>I wish you the strength to keep on healing. But, if you need a shoulder(screen) , to vent on, I am here. <P>I am not sure i can be of much help, I am in your boat.<P>Mercy

Hi there, just wondering how your day went? Mine went fairly well. I spent the day with My h instead of alone writing that research paper I am supposed to have done by thursday.<BR>I would have been alone with a phone today, so i took temptation away from myself. I was very moody today though. But i did tell my H that I wanted to make the contact so he helped me stay out of trouble!!<P>Hope all is well,<BR>'Mercy

Update<P>Mercy,<BR>Im glad to hear that all went well. IM PROUD OF U! I didnt talk to OM yesterday. Either he called and I missed it. Or he didnt call. I did miss one call though. I was out fo the car. So I dont think he will call me or make contact. I talked to him going down the road Tuesday. We happen to be in traffic right beside one another. He acted very very scared. And he also acted very leary. He looked as to say "What are you doing talking to me, After all you done?" But that was to probably make me feel like crap. <P>Well that is my update. I will keep you in my prayers. If you feel that you need to email me, you may do so. <BR>I dont think he will call now. Of course, I am dying for him to.<P>THanks for all your help,<BR>Renee

Well, it is another day under your belt! I am working hard to keep it together here. I am sure one of these days i will end up having to face my worse/best day/night mare. Do you know what I mean? Too small of a town to not run into him at some point and time.<P>I know he has been looking for me. My friend works with him and he was asking if i was okay because he hadn't heard from me in quite a while. but you see there is a rumor out there that he is seeing a married woman and he is going to marry her for his kids. NOw, personally I didn't get involved with him to be a mother(i already am one) i got involved with HIM, as a lover. He'd better get it together here. weirdo.<P>anyhow, I will keep you in my prayers. I am going to be out of town again today, so no call to day.

Mercy,<BR>I know exaclyt what you mean. And beleive me! You will run into him. <P>I CALLED HIM TODAY!!!!!! <BR>I called and asked for him, I had a stern voice like I was mad. When they took the phone over there. I heard someone say "Oh My God" I know it was him. And his friend told me he wasnt there. Well he hasnt called today. I am just Dying for him to call also. <BR>Im glad I did call though. I WONT THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN! That just shows me what kinda ofd IDIOT I was. He just wanted to play. <BR>What is sad is that his wife may really be a good woman. I had heard rumors about him being a player and that he messed around. Of course this was after I was so involved. Now I am starting to beleive it. <P>If he does call. I have a few things to tell him. I dont think he will though.<P>Just keep me in your prayers. GOD KNOWS I AM SO WEAK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!<P>THis makes me feel like such a total loser!<BR>I can not beleive that I contacted him. <BR>Okay ! Enough of that I am gonna go cry a while.<P>Email me sometime. Rpstyle@aol.com<BR>Thanks

Renee,<P>Now you know where you stand with him. Now it's time to get thru your withdrawal and build your marriage. <P>You are weak NOW but you will get stronger!<P>(((((HUGS)))))<P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR>Thank you so much. You are so right. I have never in my life wanted revenge so bad. My situation is a little different. My Om is married of course. He knew that we were having problems. And that is why he focused in on me. He knew that I was vulnerable. My H is rihgt. He knew exactly what he was doing. <BR>IM SO HURT AND MAD NOW!!!!!!!!!!<BR>

Renee! What are you doing? Talk to me.....<BR>You know what I have been through.... do you want to continue with this? Just let it go.....

LACEE,<P>Baby what are you doing? I was just to weak on Tuesday. I hate this. Now im in the want to get revenge stage. I guess that is human nature though.<BR>I will get over it. That is what I get for messing around<P>Hugs<BR>Renee

Renee,<P>The OM in my life loved knowing that I missed him. He THRIVED on it! He would let me down and make me miss him and then turn around an apologize just so he could let me down again! I finally got it through my thick skull that was what he was doing. <P>Don't you for ONE second think that I don't want to have him feel the way that I did because I DO!. But.... what is the point? It takes up too much of my energy that I neeed to used to focus on more positive things. I figure that I will let KARMA take over and sit back and watch while he gets what he deserves.<P>I just keep remembering all the times he hurt me.... that gets me through....<P>Take care hon.... You know you can talk with me if you need to. I will fix my settings on AOL so that you can see me when I am on line. STAY STRONG!!!!!

UPDATE <P>I talked with OM yesterday. He called me as soon as he got to work. I called his house last night and when he answered I said "You lier, I never chased you, and begged you to leave your wife." He said "You must have the wrong number" Of course, he didnt want her to know who it was. So he was dying im sure. He was suppose to have called the day before but I missed the call. In the mean time this guy at my sisters new job had told her all about the affair. Remember my sister left where she worked becasue she worked with OM. She actually has worked with OM for about 7 years. <BR>So he calls and ask me what it was about. I told him to quit telling people about it. That just about every dealership in town new about it now. (They are in the automobile industry.) I told him taht I told him it was over and there was to be no contact. That I was going to focus on my marriage. That was the right thing to do in Gods eyes. He said "I have not said a word. I have denied it to this day. These people here are so jelous, they cant stand it." <BR>I said H and I are in church and doing good. Then you have to keep popping up somewhere. <BR>He said W and I are in church now to. <BR>We have to focus on our families and accept the fact that we made a mistake. <BR>We ended the conversation that we would keep our families in each others prayers. And wished the best for both of us.<P>THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Had he been weak I probably would have to...<P>LESSON LEARNED: No contact AT ALL..EVER!!!!!!!!!!<P>I got the revenge feeling the other day of course. Just like Harley said.<P>Thanks to all<BR>Renee<P>Keep my family in your prayers. We are stull building...