I keep reading the wonderful replies on your post "BIg meeting"!!! They are really encouraging. <P>Did you ever love bust while doing plan A?<P>Did you try to talk about issues during planA?<P>My H and I seemed to make some positive movement and even had a great trip with kids. We were like the family we were.<P>He then went on a business trip with Op and came back deep....<P>I really feel we need to talk about what is happening. The kids are really confused. There are two married people sneaking around and lying, working together which is unethical...and now Op is leaving her H. I kindof feel like my kids don't need to be around this unless there is something concrete said. He has continually denied anything. I have heard any info from OP's H who hears every detail of my life from her!!!<P>I know we have discussed conflict avoiders, but did you ever really try to get into it with Val??<P>I know I can do it calmly. I told my H I just want to talk, to know something. I really don't think anything can or would surprise me or hurt me. He was one of the VERY FEW people I have ever trusted and believed in . I am already dealing with the loss of that rather well. (antidepressants really help you stay detached....LOL)<P>Anyway, I'll keep going back to your post for the happy updates. By the way, I think I am about 5 months into the possession with a few weeks (in which he did not see her that much) in which he was better here!!!

Hey TT,<P>Ever since D-Day I have kept a calendar with the daily events and contacts with Val. How I was feeling, key elements of what was said between us. Kind of like a journal of the hell that I have gone through.<P>Did I ever love bust? Big time. I would wait patiently for her call and as soon as I saw the number pop up on the caller ID, the flood of raw emotions hit me again like a cement truck. Some days I was OK and the chat went nicely. Most not though.<P>Over the last 13 months. [Moved to Plan B this Julian year] I have yelled, screamed, and hung up on her many times. I have loved her more than life itself and have hated her more than my worst enemy. I have also delivered roses and cards to her work. Just some of the fun of my roller coaster ride.<P>Since the implementation of Plan B my emotions have evened out. I was on Prozac, had tummy problems, switched to Wellbutrin, quit drinking and presently take nothing. I looked at things from both sides. I really needed the break. We needed the time apart. It seems that it is just what the doctor ordered. She is the one that is writing nice notes and cards now.<P>When we tried to discuss issues early on it was useless. She would lie to cover her butt. I found out the truth from MIL. That helped bring my anger to the surface. Common traits of the betrayer.<P>I have never told her of my diagnosis of her being a conflict avoider. See above. This past Friday was the first glimpse ever of the girl I married and have truly loved for the last 12 years. <P>I layed it on the line. See reply to Bonnet the "The big meeting" thread.<P>I hope I answered some of your questions. I have to play ambulance today. 16 hour shift. Yuck. I will try to check in sometime. <P>Gotta go save lives and create havok in traffic patterns. <P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>