Yesterday was my 12 year anniversary. My h had the kids so I was all alone. The phone was not working do to a storm in the area and my computer was not working as well. So, I did not hear from anyone all day long. The one day when I needed to speak to people the most was the one day I couldn't. <P>I was hoping with all my heart that my h would in someway acknowledge our anniversary. But, when he came to drop the kids off, he just pulled in the driveway and that was it. NOTHING!! I wonder if he even remembered. Here I am spending the day all alone and very sad and it probably did not even phase him. <BR>I got an e mail from his sister this morning and she was wonderful in letting me know she was thinking of me and how upset she and her family is that her brother did this to me. <P>Everything in my life has changed and all because of his addiction to this other woman. She probably knew it was our anniversary and demanded him not to speak to me that day. Or is that my imagination running wild. <P>Why does all of this hurt so much?????????????????????<P>When will it get better?????????????????????????????<P>How does one stop the tears?????????????????????????<P>I just want to be able to get thru this day today (EASTER) with no tears and make the day fun my my kids. <P>Any advise?

missy9,<P>I thought you could use these:<P>((((((((((HUGS))))))))))<P>I know how hard this is for you. You aren't alone. There are so many going thru the same thing.<P>It's hard to pretend like you're happy when inside you're heart is breaking. I promise you will get thru it. It's not easy but you can make it. <P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))<P>This has to be unbelieveably hard for you. My little suggestion would be just try to focus on your kids and the happiness you have with them. It is definelty okay to be sad adn want to cry. Hold your kids. show them how much you love them even in this time of hardship. It will make you feel better and them too! <P>Focus on Jesus, Misssy rememeber why we have easter today! HE has risen again! Remember to pray Missy, take the focus of your H and focus on God. Only God can heal your hurts. Really your H cannot. All humans fall short of assuring emotions and happiness. Only God can help right now. Let him heal you and encourage you to move on in your life today.<P>Have a happy Easter,<BR>Mercy<p>[This message has been edited by mercy (edited April 23, 2000).]

Thanks Mitzi and Mercy for your kind words. My h ended up stopping by the house this morning to drop off candy for the kids. He was in and out in 1 minute. He barely looked at me and all he said was have a nice day. <P>Still did not acknowledge our anniversary at all. Do you think I should let him know I was upset by him not saying anything to me? Or should I just lay low and let it go?? Maybe send him an e mail?<BR>I can't imagine he does not miss the life we had together for the last 19 years. In my eyes it was wonderful until ow came along. Do you think he at all feels bad????<P>My eyes have been in constant tears all night and day ... (((

Say a few prayers. He will listen and the "phone service" is never disrupted.<P>I know your pain. My wife and I will separate (she had EA) and it looks like I will move out on our anniversary (Happy A to me). If we reconcile, I don't know how I will feel in future celebrations about the day of my greatest joy and my greatest pain.

missy9,<BR>You wrote:"Do you think he at all feels bad????"<P>Of course he feels bad. Just look at this sentence you wrote: "He was in and out in 1 minute. He barely looked at me and all he said was have a nice day. "<BR>Speaks for itself methinks.<P>scandinavian

I guess that could be a sign that he feel bad but he sure doesn't act it. This was such a tough weekend for me. I think I am finally realizing that there is no hope for us to get back together again and the realization of all of that is so painful. OUCH. <P>Well its off to bed for me now. Hopefully I will be able to get some sleep tonight. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday!!!!