I didn't find any of these too objectionable so...<P>#81 really cracks me p & it's so true!<P><BR><B>100 Reasons It's Great to be a Guy </B><P>1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. <BR>2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. <BR>3. You know stuff about tanks and guns. <BR>4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. <BR>5. Monday Night Football. <BR>6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives. <BR>7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. <BR>8. You can open all your own jars. <BR>9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. <BR>10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind. <BR>11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. <BR>12. Your [censored] is never a factor in a job interview. <BR>13. All your orgasms are real. <BR>14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. <BR>15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. <BR>16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. <BR>17. You understand why "Stripes" is funny. <BR>18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. <BR>19. Your last name stays put. <BR>20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. <BR>21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. <BR>22. You can kill your own food. <BR>23. The garage is all yours. <BR>24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. <BR>25. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment". <BR>26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. <BR>27. You never have to clean the toilet. <BR>28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. <BR>29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. <BR>30. Wedding plans take care of themselves. <BR>31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. <BR>32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. <BR>33. The National College Cheerleading Championship <BR>34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. <BR>35. You don't have to shave below your neck. <BR>36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy [censored] every night. <BR>37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices. <BR>38. You can write your name in the snow. <BR>39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. <BR>40. Everything on your face stays its original color. <BR>41. Chocolate is just another snack. <BR>42. You can be president. <BR>43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. <BR>44. Flowers fix everything. <BR>45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. <BR>46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. <BR>47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. <BR>48. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. <BR>49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. <BR>50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. <BR>51. Foreplay is optional. <BR>52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. <BR>53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. <BR>54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. <BR>55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. <BR>56. You never feel compelled to waste an evening trying to stop a pal from getting laid. <BR>57. Car mechanics tell you the truth. <BR>58. You don't give a rat's [censored] if someone notices your new haircut. <BR>59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking "He must be mad at me". <BR>60. The world is your urinal. <BR>61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. <BR>62. You get to jump up and slap stuff. <BR>63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. <BR>64. One mood, all the time. <BR>65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. <BR>66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "skeevy". <BR>67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. <BR>68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. <BR>69. Same work....more pay. <BR>70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. <BR>71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. <BR>72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. <BR>73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. <BR>74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. <BR>75. You don't mooch off others' desserts. <BR>76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. <BR>77. The remote is yours and yours alone. <BR>78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. <BR>79. ESPN's Sports Center. <BR>80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. <BR>81. Bachelor parties whop [censored] over bridal showers. <BR>82. You can have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. <BR>83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. <BR>84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. <BR>85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed. <BR>86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. <BR>87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "**** it!" <BR>88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies. <BR>89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. <BR>90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. <BR>91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood. <BR>92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. <BR>93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. <BR>94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. <BR>95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. <BR>96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. <BR>97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. <BR>98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?" <BR>99. Baywatch <BR>100. There is always a game on somewhere.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Chris, I've not been around. It's good to see you are still able to have a sense of humor. Love and prayers.

I'm not exactly a mean guy, but #92 had me rolling for some reason. <P>Good one, Chris.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Chris<P>Thanks for sharing this I was laughing <BR>my*** off!!! It was hilarious and 100% <BR>true!!!!!<P>Reina